Replying to myself really.
THIS you will not believe.
I was hospitalised 2 years ago, approaching the Xmas period. Desperate to escape incarceration, and the hospital food, let alone wanting to be with the family, and having been there for 2 months, I feigned wellness, and presented myself for 'early release.' The hospital was one which dealt with those of a 'nervous disposition.'
As one does, I'd made some friends and one guy in particular was an absolute hoot. Great bloke! Tituan. We would p*ss ourselves at the sights and sounds on view, he really did keep me sane during my stay. He was a Vet who had come back to France to sort himself out, having lost his wife and daughter in a car crash in some Tropical French Island Province, where he had led an idyllic lifestyle had a yacht etc.flying out to exotic destinations to geld and mend race horses and the like.
Due to administrative circumstances he had no money, or documents, and no where to stay on discharge. I invited him to come and stay with us until his papers came through. We shifted the kids round, gave him a room, fed, wined,
loaned him Michell's rather loud ice blue Puffer etc. all the things you do when you have a guest. I gave him 250e cash and bought his ciggys.
We played pool down the pub, we had a really nice time, he made onion soup, a told us of his life and stories about his best friend ( some high ranking Consulate official in Paris, who could arrange ...well anything ). He offered me 2000 euros for an old M/c, so phoned his chum to get it picked up and shipped out saying this wil be worth a fortune out there.
He said he had collected so many frequent flyer points that he would pay for us all to fly out to this island, and stay the Summer on his Yacht. We planned the times, he ordered the tickets through his chum, the kids were very excited.
One evening he was a little bored and he asked if he could assemble a scale kit model of a BMW Motorbike. I said well I wanted to keep in in its display box as it looked so nice. So we we went down the pub instead. He was already Mr Popular..."Tituan hay! " in they all chorussed as he swaggered in hi Fiving the guys and bisouing the girls...and the guys.
I just assembled my pooling cane in the corner. Well, we thrashed everyone, got Roséd up left at Midlightish. Got home and retired.
I by then, had shown him around St.Thibery and wherever else, laughing and joking all the way, he insisted on using the zapper to let us into the car park, he was just so helpful, washing up ....shredding cardboard for the Poubel, a top notch citizen.
I was feeling quite good as our great time must have been helping him come to terms with his grief. So the following morning he slept in, I padded around tidying up, It got to 12 and I thought, he must be knackered, all the stress, the documents aggro, the meds we were both on, tiring. Come half past two, I thought OMG he's topped himself..so I went and rapped on the door. Tituan...Tituan went in, not there. He must have got up early and gone for a walk along the beach. I looked out side the back, and noiced that my Peugeot Cabriolet pride and joy was not in its slot. Strange? I thought, as Tituan had so kindly gone out to tidy the boot for me the pervious evening. What a guy.
Still in denial, I could sense the shape of my head morphing into a bottom (Shakespear) DONG! egh aww egh aww
The Centime dropped, He's freekin "ad it away wiv me mota!
Michelle arrives back from the shops, where's the car. GGULP.
Why you wearing that coat, MIchelle? It's quite chilly. The ice Blue Puffer coat had gone, so had my 200 euro brand new Camel Jacket, insurance docs for 5 vehicles, driving licence, 300 euros in cash, credit cards, zapper, car. We went to his 'room' all that was there was a neat poly bag of washing and a very dishevelled red anorak . Not even a note saying 'SO LONG SUCKERS" We went back to the sitting room to weep, when I noticed the display box full of Beemer bike was also noticeable by its absence.
He had planned it all along. The following weeks of aggro with replacement docs, and the fact that to get a new doc to need to pay a fee, and then get new number plates just kept adding to the grief. It was a good 12 moths before we were fully re admined up.
It was about 4 months later that we had a call from the cops in Millau 3/Hrs North, saying that if all the parking fines were not paid the vehicle would be compounded and what do I know crushed. That was another nightmare, geting that back dealing with the loss adjuster, paying some guy 80 bucks to drive a spare car up there and back the, fuel, the tolls, the paperwork, organising the repair of the damage, you could end up having a nervous break down.
So A Frech Malaise?
Delusions of grandeur?
Crass stupidity?
Mental illness?
Just bad luck?
You tell me