I agree with what said in this article "bonsoir instead of bonjour is acceptable at any point after which you believe the day to be âin declineâ.
I usually say it after about 5pm or, in the winter, once the sun starts to go down. Iâve not had any funny looks yet!
It makes me think about the word âtantĂ´tâ, not used in every area in France. In a lot of places it means this afternoon. In Normandy, it depends !
âJe lâai vu tantĂ´tâ : past tense so means I saw him earlier
âJe vais le voir tantĂ´tâ : future tense so means I will see him later
What was difficult for me is I couldnât know if it was this morning, yesterday, this afernoon, tomorow ⌠Never used it
And you shouldnât have a funny look, youâre polite after all 
Thatâs not a word I know! I wonder if itâs used down here? Will ask my French step-son.
Elizabeth⌠the other day I âgrilledâ my optician⌠because he had called out âbonjourâ to a client who was leaving⌠(the lady had appeared from the depths of the shop and was saying âau revoirâ to everyone she passed on her way to the doorâŚ).
He explained that he had not seen the lady before the moment when she left⌠hence, he said âbonjour/helloâ ⌠I had not seen her either and in my ignorance, I simply called out âau revoir/goodbyeâ ⌠his reasoning was he could not say goodbye because he had not said hello⌠which does make some sort of sense⌠
Do you think this is just a local custom ? 
He sounds a bit âpsychorigidâ to me ! As I said to Mandy, itâs already nice to be polite. If the owner of the shop would do that to me, I would find it a bit offensive !
I did think it strange⌠but it was smiles all round⌠so⌠I think it must be a local customâŚ
His shop is very busy and he is the boss⌠so folk must be happy with himâŚor they would go elsewhere⌠
I once asked an employee in a shop : âexcusez moi, oĂš se trouve ⌠(I canât remember what)â.
He looked at me in the eyes, and said âbonjour !â. Oups ! Fair enough ! I now always say âBonjour !, excusez moi, oĂš se trouve âŚâ
I have heard/used âbonjour et au revoirâ in this situation.
Me too⌠and that usually gets me a smile âŚ
Slight change of direction⌠about the tutoyer/vouvoyer issue. My next door neighbour is 82 and I am 80, so heâs the senior. Weâve had a very good relationship for three years, meet often for coffee and a chat in his kitchen, watch TV and play dominoâs together, do gardening and brico together, I bathed his eyes for six weeks when he had shingles last year, he gives us tarte tatin when he cooks it etc. So we are pretty close. When he closes his shutters at night he calls out a greeting to me in the garden.
But heâs never suggested that we use âtuâ with each other. Would it seem presumptuous of me to suggest it? It would make life a bit easier for me, as I am stuck with vous with everyone now, even the chickens. Canât be right, but Iâm nervous. At age 80 I am vous to everyone I meet, and donât feel secure about breaking out.
Advice from fully-fledged Frenchies please⌠
I know for me itâs very difficult to start using âtuâ when Iâm used to using âvousâ. Itâs easier when it starts from the begining of a relationship. Maybe you could explain to him, in a conversation, that âvousâ is more difficult to use for native English speakers and see if he suggests using âtuâ ?
Is he someone who is generally pretty correct in his life? Ie not an old hippy or someone who spent his youth swanning around the left bank? If not then it could be hard as for him it may well be a mark of respect rather than wishing to keep you at a distance and he could be as uncomfortable with tu as you are with vous. What does he use with others?
I like Babethâs suggestion. Failing that can you engineer a situation where you and he are with a group of people he tu-tois? That can prompt a natural change.
Itâs hard, because so much of the tu-vous dilemma depends on personalities. We have become fairly friendly with two separate artisans of similar age & type to us, who we use for their services but also chat to when out and about, and have had coffee together etc. One we fell into tu-toi very naturally, the other - never in a million years amd we would never dream of suggesting it!
Thank you both JJ and EM for your sympathetic and valuable suggestions. Both are in line with my own intuitions in the matter. The neighbour in question is very traditional (as far as I can judge) and comfortably âset in his waysâ domestically and professionally, a widower for many years, and a countryman and ancien combattant. Aged 7 he was shot in the chest by an unknown assailant during the Normandy contre attaque, the.bullet exited via his lower abdomen.
I am full of admiration for him, and gratitude. I think that our relationship is best left as it is, respectful and warm.
Something else Iâm not sure about is when to say âbonne journĂŠeâ and âbonne après-midiâ. Also, Iâve seen both written using âbonâ and âbonneâ and I donât really know which is correct.
French is a mine field of politeness and masculine/feminine!
Après-midi is one of those words that is both masculine and feminine but the AcadÊmie Française prefers masculine. But journÊe is feminine only.
We have 3 words in french which are masculine when singular and feminine when plural :
Amour, dĂŠlice et orgue !