Cancer...I'm sure many of us can understand the decision of this man

Cancer touches so many of us and our families… this man’s decision to live a shorter life, but a better/normal life… certainly brings tears to my eyes.

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My mother died of cancer after receiving every treatment available and living through several years of pain and discomfort. When my father was diagnosed with cancer a few years later he decided to make the most of his remaining time with the bare minimum treatment. He simply said that he could not go through what he had seen my mother endure. He died relatively peacefully not long after. I’m not sure if he would have made the same decision if my mother was still alive but as it was it was straightforward choice.


What I can’t understand is the appalling treatment of those poor souls suffering from motor neurone disease who, at the moment, have to choose between ending their life prematurely so that their relatives are not put in the appalling position of helping them when they become unable to take their own life, or being prosecuted.

its exactly what my dad just did.

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It is difficult enough for you to lose a parent, but in those circumstances it must have been doubly tough.
All these people who bleat on about people who think they are becoming a burden and might be persuaded to end it all by their avaricious relatives don’t know the half of it.

Nope it was his choice to have no treatment and when it was close to the end it was made clear he was to stay at the hospice and not to be moved to the hospital under any circumstances. Entire family was behind him for no treatment.

3 days before he passed. Docs though we was doing well. for the fact both his lungs, his liver stomach throat and several other places were full of cancer.


The good thing is that cancer treatment can improve life expectancy. The bad thing is that extra life time also comes with pain due to the treatment AND the cancer. My wife is on her 5th cancer. This will be the final one as it is non-operable pancreatic cancer. Palliative chimo does not reduce her pain. Does anyone have nay experience of using laser acupuncture pen (no needles) to reduce pain?

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yes for my dad it might have extended his life for a few months but the problems it would have given him were not worth it in his mind and we all stood by him. For a year his doctor told him he had sciatica… A year ago had it been found things might have been different. when they checked it was the cancer growth on the sciatic nerve.

That is life though doctors are not gods or mind readers and knowing my dad he avoided the docs and probably played down his complaints.

treatments get better all the time.


Crikey Phillip, my heart goes out to you both - how bloody awful. So sorry I can’t help with the laser acupuncture info but if I come across anything I’ll be right back. Bon courage seems totally inept but I just felt the need to offer you some support.


No experience with laser acupuncture but my mom used to have acupuncture for pain associated with her myriad of physical limitations…it helped for a long while and she said she never felt the needles…just wanted to offer my support during what must be a horribly difficult time for all of you…:heart:

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Sounds like a Brick Harry :+1:

My dad did the same Harry…me and my mom were with him when the oncologist said that without chemo he would maybe live for 6 weeks…he was offered an experimental chemo mix that may or may not have given him a few more weeks but he said no and we too stood by his decision…he passed away at home kissing all of us…,my mom…me and my sister in his final moments…I love the photo of your dad…it’s almost impossible to think that such huge brave spirits are ever extinguished…:heart:

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Phillip, I am very sorry to hear of your wife’s experience.

If chemo is causing side effects and not helping with symptoms then you probably need an honest discussion with your oncologist. The aim of treatment should to control the cancer and hopefully improve symptoms and while chemo can prolong life improving the quality of life is as, or more important - it is hardly fair to want someone to continue treatment which is worsening their quality of life.

Do you have access to a pain or palliative care specialist - if not perhaps you should explore whether it is possible; I am afraid I don’t know how these services are organised in France.

There are many different ways that cancers can cause pain but with upper abdominal tumours such as pancreatic cancer it is sometimes because the cancer grows into a dense collection of nerves called the coeliac plexus - pain which originates directly in nerves (neuropathic pain) can have a particularly distressing nature and can be difficult to control. Ideally she would talk to a specialist who can work out what the likely mechanism of the pain is, and to treat accordingly but nerve pain sometimes responds to use of drugs such as gabapentin or pregabalin which can be useful alongside strong painkillers such as opiates (and even with severe pain drugs like paracetamol should be continued). Also pain originating in the coeliac plexus can sometimes be helped with a nerve block. Radiotherapy might also be used and be useful in some patients.

If these haven’t been explored then they are likely to be of more use than acupuncture.

There is a good review on pain management in cancer here - follow the “full guideline” link. I’m not sure how helpful it will be to you so don’t worry if you feel it isn’t for you - it is a bit long in the tooth dating from 2008, and is aimed at healthcare professionals so long and dry reading but it is fairly thorough, discusses alternative treatments, is pretty unbiased and based on good clinical evidence (up to 2007 or so).


I saw that interview and omg it really shocked me …
the power of his words, the description of life on chemotherapy to be taken every day, the irritatibiliy , the tiredness, the lack of force, the mouth ulcers , the constipation or diarrhea, nausea, the whole side effects

He has really bad cancer I think he said 7 types.

Taking chemotherapy every day now and for the rest of my life, I understand this guy

Personally it’s not my road …yet… lol. However I think he is really brave to take the decision and I have the upmost respect for him. Hubby feels differently to me .

Chemo in his and my case is a survival treatment, definitely not a cure treatment !,

I think opposite to him but… I respect so much his decision and the fact that he can talk openly on his own views

Thank god for people like him who can talk, cry and believe

There are so many different types of cancer that affect people in different ways, and so many different life situations which may surround the patient, that each person has to make their own decision as to whether to have treatment or not. Whatever their decision it has to be respected, for there is no doubt that they will have thought long and hard about it.
Some people decide to go down the treatment road because others rely on them, whilst others simply haven’t achieved what they want to yet, and some are just scared stiff of dying.
When given the diagnosis I think we all go into an initial state of shock, and then after that come the alternating phases of planning how to deal with it, and the possible outcomes, and just needing to cry and be held by a loved one.
It’s certainly a long hard row to hoe, and I think a person has to be closely personally involved in order to fully understand that it isn’t just a matter of caring for the body physical, as there is a huge psychological impact as well.

Personally I’ve been lucky in that the chemo followed by a stem cell transplant has resulted in complete remission ------ for the time being.
Would I go down that road again ? Well that depends on a lot of things and to be honest I haven’t fully worked out my answer to that question yet.

My old man did not want to die and quite frankly was &^*^ scared of dying and 2 days before he died told me he was scared to die. Not because he was scared but because he was leaving my mum alone without him.

Most all of us are scared of death. None of us know when it will hit or how.

Until we are faced with a choice none of us know what choice we will make.

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Have a look at nerve blockers, they were the only treatment that worked for my sister.