I recall, possibly on Angloinfo, a request from a Brit, who was thinking of coming over to live in France with her children (no mention of a father) for details of all the benefits to which she was entitled.
Chris, there are some 200,000 'Brits' living in France, 400,000 French in London alone. I don't understand why a Brit abroad moves away from other Brits, surely assuming you are British, that makes you one of the 'hoard'.
In the Aude, we have a about 100 non French in our village of 1000, mostly buying the old village properties abandonned by the French who in many cases prefer the lotissements, plus inheritance law disputes meaning an old property laying empty for years. It was touch and go for the local boulangerie, saved I believe, by an increase in numbers in the village, which is growing, in no small part, thanks to new residents.
If it wasn't for the incomers, these villages would be even more of a ghost town all year. Even in our Place, there are 2 derelict properties, but the rest of the square is a nice mix of French, English, American, German and Polish.
What could be more European than that.
The French feel EXACTLY the same Jayne.
Well done Heather, could not agree more!
Sorry Janet I cannot agree that it doesn't happen here, my French partner will very quickly disabuse you of that notion believe me, her language becomes extremely colourful almost every time we see a news item which contains any pictures of what she terms as (I have toned this down to suit) " Sponging Arabs getting freebies on my taxes"! Arabs should be taken to include anyone who does not look as though they have come from a long line of "French" people.
In my experience, it depends how well you integrate. I moved away from the Creuse to Nievre to get away from the Brits, I find the French welcoming, friendly and helpful. However, they do not like (and who can blame them?) when loads of Brits or Dutch take over an area and then expect it to become like a little England or Holland. There are villages in the Creuse with more Brits than French and generally those villages are like ghost towns in the Winter, it must be hell for the locals. Thankfully there are VERY few Brits in the Nievre.
Carol, why can't you be negative about your country of birth? Not just those born in UK but other countries that have had to endure hardships through governments etc. There is nothing wrong with people moving around the world, the problem is over population in the UK. There is hardly any green space left and the pretty villages are now more like towns with more green areas being taken up for housing.
I don't care what colour or nationality but what I do not like is when you can't hear your own language when walking down the street at all, when dirty habits are inflicted on you, spitting etc, when you aren't safe walking around at night. That wasn't the place I was brought up in, its the place it changed to and not for the better.
I was proud of being British at 18 but not any longer. It is weak and will be dragged down by its go softly policies where the criminal has more rights than the victim and where we give handouts to all and sundry.
Totally agree with you Janet. Britain is the social security dumping ground of the world but never provides for its own. Spanish and Greeks are now arriving at Heathrow ready to claim social security payments. Where else can you go in the world where they will pay you to do nothing and give you a roof over your head before their own. I think UK is finished. If it wasn't for family and friends I would never ever go back there.
I feel that France is my home, nowhere else in the world has felt right. Nowhere is perfect and the cities here have the same problems but because it is a vast country you can live in your own little world that suits you.
We are all different but its all a matter of choice. We choose to mix with French people and lifestyles. Other English, prefer to live in their English communes.
janet, what is the french way of lifr extactly that we should be conforming to?
It does, but in some cases it is awkward, making the switch. i was at work tonight, (hotel restaurant), and we had a couple in who evidently were speaking English together, but both spoke perfect French. I did everything in French, after all ,they CAN speak the language (and very well), and we ARE in France.
they heard me speaking english to another table (a couple holidaying,who had NO French whatso-ever), and noted that I speak good english, we got around to chatting for a while, in English as soon as they realised I was an anglophone. it all seemed so realxed and fluid when we were speaking english, but, admittedly,although there was no strain when we spoke French, I imagine, to a French person, it might have sounded painful. (but hopefully refreshing)
Agree totaly with you Janet although that wasnt the reason i came to France i feel comfortable here always have,having travelled most of western europe coming to France always felt like coming home, parts of the uk are now a no go area parking in a northern town called in to see a customer he at once asked me where i had parked my vehicle as certain streets were a no go area and any vehicle not belonging to a resident would be blocked in and would take hours to be removed requiring police intervention
Wow Heather I would definately say you are very lucky...good for you!! Do you go to french lessons at the AVF or somewhere similar or are you picking it up from day to day?
My family and I must have landed on our feet. We live in Saint Nexans just a stones throw from Bergerac airport, home is an old farmhouse with a lot of out-buildings. Our french neighbours are the best, god only knows how much money they have saved us. Took us under they wings, introduced us to all the local trades and bought things on our behalf to stop us from being ripped off. When our tractor broke down we were quoted 3,000 euros for repairs, Phillipe our neighbour said it made him ashamed to be french and spent a day doing the repairings himself, our offer to pay fell on deaf ears. We found that the language barrier was the only thing that stopped our neighbours from visiting the Uk, so we Thomas Cooked it, a good time was had by all.
Looking back - Phillipe's wife did tell us about the ticking off she gave him for is reaction when they found out that Brits had bought to property next door. Phillipe's notion is one of a them and us, an image embedded through fact and fiction. If you didn't know you would swear that Phillipe's and my husband's friendship is decades old. The downside is that I am finding it difficult to learn french as my neighbours and a whole host of french people are forever practicing they English on me.
Yes there is prejudice out there and always will be. At school in the Uk I was the only black pupil and came through without scars mentally or otherwise. I live in a beautiful place and refuse to let anyone spoil it.
The downside is that I find it difficult to learn french as my neighbours and a whole host of french people are forever practticing they english on me.
Kissing on cheeks has been in existence in our family for ever...and its a habit I share with all my friends...perpetual lateness....if thats a French trait...its one that is less than polite to those waiting and not one I would adopt...have found that whilst our artisans are always late...if I turn up late for my table in the restaurant...they do not save it for me...so it doesnt always work...the bank manager isnt too impressed either if I turn up 40 minutes late because I was having coffee with a friend! I think the way the French do things...just means outside of business being relaxed....which is fine by me...! If you choose to make negative comments about your place of birth and the nationals of that country...its your choice Brian...for me...I am happy about both from my point of view....
But am I not making negative comments to an extent myself? I am and will continue to do so and the people who live there. On conformism, open your eyes a little more to the French habits, you may not like them and I certainly do no like them all, the kisses and handshake on meeting, the sharing a coffee rather than running off to do what you are supposed to doing, the perpetual lateness that does not distrub anybody and all the rest of it. I am comfortable with all of that, I am no longer comfortable in England.
And Brian I applaud that...living in whatever country you choose....that wasnt what I commented about. It was the constant negative comments about ones country of birth....and the people that live there...I am all for people moving around the globe and settling wherever...one of the reasons I applaud the Uk for their acacceptance of foreigners and the mix....and I still dont get what conforming to the French way is...!!!!
Carol, it is all a matter of taste. Some of us prefer to live somewhere other than our country of birth/growing up. There is to an extent a French, as too an English, etc, way of life but that is more a product of conformism than a cultural trait. In fact, and of course this will cause dispute, in western society in general we are culture weak. Difference has been whittled down to things sets of people do in common which makes the people of the SE of England different to the people of the NE and similar here. I know a lot of people are lotus eaters who are seeking what is not there but others are imorters oh what does not fit. I was in LeClerc in Bergerac today and could spot British and Dutch very easily. They generally do not fit in. Nobody notices my OH and I because we do not look like either, not because we try to conform to a French appear, there being no such thing, but because we are comfortable.
I loved the mix. South of the Thames the Windrush people arrived at the same time as myfather was demobbed and my parents chose to live in London because Scotland was so economically depressed there was little to return to. I grew up amongst some of those people, then the others who followed. I loved the mix, but many people do not and I intensely dislike the judgementalism of those like my father and his partner who never once employed anybody other than whites. My sister was married to somebody not white and the reason I gave up speaking to my father was because of what he said about his on in law nonstop. None of it true and there were so many of them. I taught many, many foreign students in Cambridge. One who felt particularly oppressed by racism is now a senior academic in Malaysia, her own country. She could never have stayed in the UK the way people treated her. I had Africans who have done well in their homelands, others who stayed in the UK did not thrive. Even a dark skinned Portuguese was treated like scum. It always made me uncomfortable. I do not judge people by their colour but by what they say and do and for the sakes of neutrality as much as anything else, we chose France. It could have been Spain since we both speak Spanish, or Portugal where we spent our happiest year yet. But we chose here. My OH considers the petty bickering amongst the Swiss no better and how they have oppressed and all but exterminated the Rumantsch minority, so prefers not to live in a country many consider paradise, where she was born. France is to our taste, so we live here.
Oh dear Janet...so you left the UK because you didnt like being in the minority...are you now in the majority? It has always been the case that many Brits leave the UK because they dont like the mix...personally I loved the mix...that isnt why we came here...we came for the weather, the culture, to enjoy a new way of life...but what we did find, was some very shall I say....aloof Brits...the ones that make comments on forums about how awful the Brits are...which to my mind is rubbish...there are as many difficult Germans, French, Dutch, Americans blah blah blah....and what do you mean by conforming to French life? do you mean not speaking to other Brits? or having a long lunch break? not wearing socks with sandals? I dont understand what the French way of doing things means..we have lived here for 3 years...and have met a lot of charming French, some lovely Brits and lots of other nationalities that we like...and a few we dont....anyone that labels a nationality as all bad has a problem...as far as England goes...I am happy to be part of the mix...and I like a country that gives other nationalities a fair go....I believe that is what is Great about Britain...
Pehaps its different for a woman who has children and doesnt go to work now dont get me wrong and jump i am not having a go at women just saying it may be different, you take the kids to school meet the same people every day get chatting and friendships are formed, i was a single parent for 10 years my company at the time was very understanding and bent over backwards i took the kids to school but obviously the woman didnt stop to talk neither did i as i was going straight to work if i wasnt home in time my parents collected them for me plus if i had have tried to engage in conversation would the women think i was trying it on as all of them i assume were married, the one place i did get any attention was when i went shopping with two young children returning to the topic of France i came to France on Holiday with my Kids always having a great time from the the late 70s by the early 90s it wasnt cool for the kids to be seen with dad so started to tour France never ever can i recall having a bad experience over here the French being so helpful friendly and willing to talk travelling by motorcycle did have its benefits one guy chased me through Briancon to shake my hand and chat, stopping in one small village to wait while a game of boules was played in the main street after a guy came up to thank me for waiting and invited me for a drink in the cafe only once did i have anything stolen in France and that was by a Brit
To sit in the cafe on a Saturday morning after the market with half a dozen other Brits is a great way to spend a couple of hours but we do have a cafe run by a Brit who openly discourages the majority of the Brit population why i have never bothered to find out after waiting half an hour to be served and walking out we came over here to integrate fully which we try to do but it is nice to speak to Brits where you can have a flowing conversation and not have to stop and think
LOL Phil. You do recognise people who you want to avoid as soon as they open their mouths. I am not totally anti English speakers. I was saved by my vet the other day when pounced upon by an elderly British couple, who I was doing my best to be polite to, fortunately I was called in.