Couple of weeks back got stopped by les flics and reckon i got a good deal
Wide open road, enough space for a dual carriageway but only single carriageway, 1am, 24deg, dry, 80km/h limit with no traffic. As I drove along saw a car drls suddenly come on from behind a hedge and went uh oh âŚ.
I slowed down to about 108/9 km/h as was willing to get done as I knew I was speeding.
Car closes in, blues, winds window down and says follow me.
When stopped 3 burly Police Nationale get out looking cross, said I was doing 129km/h in an 80km/h (probably about right) âŚ. I have lived in France for 12 years, took my UK licence, didnât look at passport, didnât look at car.
After 30secs came back, I explained I was coming back from work in the UK, late flight, loud music, quiet road etc etc ⌠asked what I did for work, they asked âdo I need my licence for workâ, I said yes, they said lift my foot, hereâs a present and gave me my licence back.
Reminds me of a lucky encounter with the police in UK. They had staked out a spot on the only road from the Bere peninsula to Plymouth. No way to avoid passing this place.
Was pulled over .. âBreath into this ⌠if it turns red you will be arrested.â We sat there staring at the thing. It had gone orange pretty quickly. Iâd had a couple of pints just before setting off to collect friends from Plymouth station.
After what seemed hours it was still orange. âOK. What have you had to drink?â âCouple of pintsâ âWhere going?â âStation - friends - Plymouthâ "Go home and call a taxi for them ⌠" â⌠Because youâll still be here when I come back from Plymouth and by then the test will go redâ âCorrectâ
So I went home. The thing that saved me was that Iâd bought a whisky chaser, put it down and when I turned to pick it up, found someone had nicked itâŚ
A few years back I was driving to the UK from near Marseille. Not sure how fast I was doing but must have been close to 150, A police car pulled alongside and waved me down. When I stopped one of the guys got out and, realising I was English, tried to speak in English. First he said âtoo many lightsâ - I had left my fog lights on after passing through some fog. He started walking back to his car, then turned back and wrote 130 in the dirt on the bonnet of my car and made a gesture which meant âslow downâ. He started back to his car again and turned back pointing at his shirt and saying âpoliceâ. I just saud sorry a few times and he got in his car and drove off.
In Italy I was zooming down from Domodossola heading towards Milan since crossing the border about 5.30am when it had been dark. Around 7am it was starting to get light and I just had a feeling I was on a traffic officerâs screen. It was just too quiet, and I felt I was a sitting duck. There had been no one but me mostly, and I was sure in my boredom on the empty motorway I had been going too fast in my hired Red Fiat 500.
So at next exit I got off the motorway. Luckily I knew the road fairly well and it wouldnât make much difference to timing. As from that exit there was a long stretch where the road underneath the motorway would be almost as fast if empty then the motorway took a more indirect route.
3 days later in mid afternoon, I was on my way back, taking care to observe all speed limits in much more traffic. Got pulled over by police.
Knew I wasnât doing anything wrong. But with a big smile the policeman asked me had I been travelling in the other direction 3 days before around 7am. I said yes but couldnât remember when exactly. He said we just want to know what happened. As we saw you for a while, a single lady in a red car just like this, and over the limit but you just disappeared. How did you do it?
I said iâm sorry canât remember, but if it was me then Iâm sure I would not have been able to escape you So it canât have been me. I did debate saying âIt was witchcraftâ instead, but felt that might land me in hot water. After that I was wiahed a good journey and allowed to go on my way.
Coming back late and tired from the airport and going through a village, OH clipped the back inside tyre on a pavement. Ten minutes later (dark country lanes) we realised we had a puncture and crawled to the edge of our local town where we could at least change the tyre under a lamp post.
Our car was a Chrysler PT cruiser and the spare was in a cage, under the chassis (stupid place!) OH was flat on his back trying to get it out when a police car drew up. Two burly policemen got out, gently moved OH aside and changed our wheel in five minutes. With many smiles, headed on their way and we, gratefully managed to get home and to bed before midnight.
A friend and I arrived late, slightly lost in a small town in Nièvre, and the only light (it being after midnight) appeared to be coming from an open window. Inside were 4 gendarmes playing cards in their vests, with jackets and shirts hung on the backs of their chairs..They looked surprised at our appearance, obviously speaking with foreign accents etc. However when I asked them the directions to a nearby hotel, they abandoned their game, leapt up, jumped into their police car, and with blue lights flashing, all 4 of them escorted us to the hotel, then took off into the night, sirens briefly sounding as a farewellâŚ
Around 20 years ago Iâd done a few days work in Paris and had brought the family over too. We were heading back on the peripherique in a borrowed company car, the children were squabbling noisily in the back and my wifeâs usually excellent navigation skills seemed to have left her at a time when directions at a complex junction were needed. In a moment of stress I waited at the junction slightly too long and then moved through a red light, seen by a policeman on a scooter. He soon caught up and pulled me over - speaking English I apologised for the infraction and he replied in excellent English, seeing the situation. He provided directions and an instruction not to run any more red lights, then let us go.
Hereâs one that my mate really shouldnât have got away with.
After an all night party at his house, he drove his GF back to her flat to get ready and go to work. This was about 6am the police (La BAC, La Brigade Anti-CriminalitĂŠs) stopped us as my friend parked in front of her flat. They asked for his papers & mentioned the smell of alcohol, the one on my side tapped on the window and said âtoi tes papiers! The only ID I had on me was from the Ministère Affaires Etrangères due to my function working at the British Embassy. The tu & toi changed to vous they asked how far weâve come from, and if weâll be traveling back, it was only about 3km, they let him go. My MAE card didnât give me privileges, they probably looked at it and thought FxxK this could lead to too much paper work.
We saw a couple of gendarmes/whatever taking a long, hard look at our UK car at an aire, while we enjoyed a much needed break en route to a gite weâd booked in the south of France.
My heart sank. Only the day before in UK, someone had smashed into us while we were parked (thankfully without bodily harm to anyone).
Not having time to get repairs done and assured that the damage was only superficial, OH carefully put our car back together again with a lot of gaffer tape (whatever). It certainly did look rather odd, to say the least.
Oh well, here goes! I took a deep breath and walked over to them.
I smiled as I said Bonjour.. and, without waiting for them to ask questions, I explained the situation. Pointed out that the lights/indicators all worked and werenât obscured. That the car itself performed perfectly.
âOH has done his best as we really do need this visit to your beautiful country to recharge our batteries⌠â
Phew, they even looked sympathetic once they understood we hadnât been involved in anything illegal/brutal/whateverâŚ
Mind you, they did watch us as we drove carefully out of the aire.. perhaps they wanted to be sure that the brakes etc did work and that we werenât spewing foul smoke or even flames out of the exhaustâŚ
Believe me, if the French police are anything like their British counterparts the last thing they will want to deal with is a car with mechanical issues! Far too much writing for probably no end result.
My experience has been similar in all but one instance, both here and in the UK. If your error can be attributed to carelessness, stupidity or accident then they just want to help and/or educate.
Certainly, the ones I knew/know (UK and France) would not want to have a car loose on the roads if they reckoned it might be a danger to other road users.
Thankfully, our car ran perfectly although it looked like something from a horror movie
Apologies if youâve heard this one before, but back when I was a student I had a Honda CB550 motorcycle which I had tricked out with a (noisier) Yoshimura âsilencerâ.
I had stopped outside a newsagents in Birmingham (probably buying cigs, I was a smoker back then) and came out to find a police motorcycle cop bent over my sleek machine inspecting the aftermarket pipes.
I approached hesitantly, wondering if I was about to get a ticking off for having made a dodgy modification, but it turned out he just wanted to know what I thought of the Yoshimura 4 into 1 exhaust system as he was thinking of getting a set for his own (personal) motorbike!
Not around our way. There are numerous rusty vehicles in a barely road worthy state with equally decrepit drivers. Presumably well known to the law in these parts with sympathetic leeway allowed for old farmers. I rather expect more than one doesnât take an annual CT.
they asked how far weâve come from, and if weâll be traveling back, it was only about 3km, they let him go. My MAE card didnât give me privileges, they probably looked at it and thought FxxK this could lead to too much paper work.
