Friends or Ghosts?

Below is a link to an interesting unusual article in the Evening Standard.

Now the issues are:
Should I do this…and stick by the ranking?

How would I fare if one of my friends ranked me?

What a horrible, horrible article. Even if it’s meant to be tongue in cheek. I read two lines and wish I hadn’t even started. I’m muting this thread. Just gross!


Somebody needs to explain to this person a foundation of true friendship is giving without expectation, not, what am I getting from this.


She’s a cold blooded idiot.

BTW, many of my closest friends are those I met in my schooldays. This isn’t a generation thing either, many of my daughter and her husbands closest friends are old school or university chums, despite having many new chums in Oz. The idiot above is managing her “friends”asif they were an asset class.


I do not think they would like me, it is a decision like me , like my dogs

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I wonder what mental illness they are suffering from, neural divergence?

I echo all that’s been said so far. Who sets out to ‘rank’ their friends?

You have friends, period. And possibly lose friends if they find out they’re being ranked!

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:rofl: Glad she’s not one of my ‘friends’…

Is neural divergence mental illness, or just ‘normal’?

Good question, its a label they hand out as we all have the abity to disagree with the majority and often thats a tough line but it doesnt make a group decision correct.

Not an ‘illness’ at all! Just a different from typical (majority) of how a brain works. Learns a different way. Works out things in different ways from ‘neurotypical’ folk. One person may be neurodiverse in a different way to another by various degrees. A great many techies and brilliant thinkers are actually neurodiverse.

Let’s embrace our human differences!


I do as I am clearly in that sphere. Across many areas I have worked I find robotic types that just want an easy life repeating all the bad mistakes. To me every failure is an oportunity to review and improve but many disagree and just repeat the same processes or errors.

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Just what everyone needs, another fucking label!

I am surprised that anybody with an attitude like this has any friends at all .

Interesting, in James Reeds book on job hunting and recruitment he said 80% of companies hire on a “fit” into the company ideal. Whilst I believe that to be true because Reed employment have done a huge amount of research into this, it is also worrying that too many like minded “yes” people are unlikely to drive things forward as it might be shameful in someway to disagree with a work colleague. I welcome oposing ideas, makes me think laterally and consider alternative views even the deemed most minor person in a situation can have a really valid point.

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Choosing people who fit company culture can make for a more efficient, less troublesome organisation, choosing those with a different culture can cause considerable pain. At one time in my present company we employed scientists and technical staff from a very well known multinational, where they had been familiar with a culture based on conflict and keeping your nose clean. It took a couple of years and some tears + significant disruption for some of them to become positive towards the organisation and not be expecting to be put down.

Thinking differently is a double edged sword, and everyone has to be working for a common goal.

Yes I agree when its very negative as you describe, not quite what I meant. An environment built on fear will not benefit anyone or any company. Everyone singing from the same lalala is fine but being able to say to a room or comittee without fear of not fitting in takes real courage and some managers really cannot operate in that way, yes they may be bad managers in some ways but steering an even keel is all some are interested in. That can lead to staff leaving and the best generally leave first as they do not fear finding more employment those left behind do and are often the ones that contribute least in my observations.

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My first wife used to categorise people A, B or C. After several years of marriage I realised she had categorised all my friends as Cs, but I got them back after our divorce.