Looks like my daughter will get the thumbs up on a house purchase in Perth later today 
Never mind the sharks, snakes, murderers, dingos or spiders, it’s those bloody koalas you’ve gotta watch out for.
They can give you Namibia. 
Sorry the picture is so small, i also posted elsewhere and it was much bigger not needing zooming to read the very funny stuff under the picture - not sure if you can read it! i’ll try to edit and fix it!
you mean the drop bears 
- which indecently are real - as every kid who has ever been camping in the bush will testify to!
oK if you click on the ‘expand picture’ bottom right of pic it will open in a small version, then click on that and you should be able to read it even with non 20 year old eyes!
oh that is lovely news John! never been to perth - a long 4,500km away!
Priceless, I especially like the hippo racing at the Cross, very dangerous. Driving my taxi on Darlinghurst road, slow moving night time jam, with a hippo (aka local lady of the night) as a fare beside me, I was suddenly accosted by another hippo bashing away at my windscreen with a hammer.
Apparently hippos are territorial. 
Very funny, although was probably quite scary at the time!
I was laughing so much when i read them!
American tourists … doncha love 'em?
On tour. As I was driving a US couple into the beautiful and historic town of Bayeux, giving a brief spiel about the tapestry and all that, the guy suddenly piped up, “See that, honey! They still use concrete fence posts!”
Overheard by my g/f trekking in Nepalese Himalayas. US person passing in the other direction, “You’d think they’d instal a hand rail”
And the Brit tour guides’ fave, re Stonehenge, “Why did they put it so near the highway?”
Thank you so much for posting that @toryroo
It’s been a crap week so far and your post cheered me up a lot 
My favourite tourist story is against Aussies, and not just any Aussies but my very dear friends who I had not seen for 40 years when they toured Europe a couple of years ago, finishing up with a couple of days with us.
Denis had told several stories of the Americans they had encountered on their way round the continent, and nearly always ended with the sneering comment ‘typical bloody Yanks’.
But I couldn’t help inwardly laughing as Michelle kept butting into the conversation with ‘jeeze, look at that, all the buildings are so old’. But the final straw which had me cringing in embarrassment eating fish and chips outside the bar. She was convinced that every one was looking at them and kept saying to all and sundry, ‘we’re Australians’ and then capped it off in answer to the polite question in English by a Swiss family nearby as to where they had been, by proceeding to list all of the 27 countries they had been dragged around in their tourist bus. I looked at Denis in sympathy but he wasn’t a bit put out, nodding enthusiastically in enjoyment as the list dragged on and on.
I bet those politely attentive people were thankful that not all of Europe had been visited.
oh dear!!!
Yep that sounds about right!!!
And you will know how she sounded when she said it, with the slight pause before the really elongated last word.
They are both in their late 70s now, were childhood sweethearts in Dubbo from whence they originated and Dennis at least agreed with cosmopolitan Sydney (or in at least our small bubble of friends) when the word dubbo was coined as a term for an ignorant country bumpkin. A bit like coming from beyond the black stump, I believe the phrase is. 
I know it well! I grew up near Cowra and was at boarding school in Orange with plenty of Dubbo’ites
I used to enjoy irritating the Oz secretary at a studio I worked at by singing a verse from a Bob Dylan song. If you have any Aussies you’d like to hack off, it’s a standard12 -bar blues:
I think I’ll go to some Australian mountain range
Yeah, I think I’ll go to some Australian mountain range.
I got no business to be there.
It just might make some kinda change.
I recall a witty remark by one of the commentators on Test Match Special:
“The Ausssies have to choose between winning the Ashes or winning Wimbledon Men’s title. They can’t win both because Rod Laver and Bill Lawry [captain Aus cricket] are using the same nose”
