Help me design a BBQ - What features do you want from yours?

the water is more than a gimmick when it comes to outside eating

That’s the point! A Barbie is supposed to be the one place where men can do their worst to food [or best if they are show-offs] and claim it to be wonderful [or up there with M.P. White] - a sort of Trumpist inversion of the truth but all in good humour.

Marco worked for me as my 2nd chef way back in the 80s and it was interesting.

I’m sorry James and I know this is off topic but several people have mentioned getting a smoker. I’d be really interested in knowing what people bought and where they got it. Should I start another thread?

I was roped into driving the late Anthony Bourdain and a Discovery Channel film crew around for a few days. Bourdain was on a mammoth world tour of ace cooks.

One of the Brit cooks was M.P. White, at his country pub. We sat around in the pub for a couple of hrs because White had taken Bourdain out into the woods to shoot a deer. We got a good flavour of the atmosphere in the pub as the customers sat happily dining.

Then White appeared. The atmosphere changed instantly. It was if a great polar gust had blown all the warmth out of the place. The staff, it was very clear to see, were now virtually in cringe-mode. White, leaning on the bar in filthy wellies, appeared to be twice the size of a standard well-built man. His personality filled the room.

As the shoot had been delayed a couple of hours but the crew had not been able to have a meal because White and Bourdain could have appeared at any mo, once filming started, meals were ordered. Poor crew, they never did get to eat. The Discovery Ch production assistant and I worked out way thru’ several servings of wonderful venision filets!

As he sat talking to Bourdain, White said to a waiter, “Bring me M.Bourdain’s head, on a plate”. Fortunately the waiter understood - he didn’t have to ask what that meant. A moment later the head of the deer was presented to Bourdain on a silver salver.

On the other hand, Helen Fielding, in her days as the writer of the comic column ‘Bridgit Jones’s Diary’ for The Independent on Sunday and one of the rotating squad of restaurant reviewers, headlined a review “Kitchen Tiger Turns Pussycat”

Fielding, her [soon to be famous] pal Shazzer and A.N. Other had had a fine lunch at White’s ‘Criterion’, Picadilly. They thought it would be ab fab to finish off with cigars. When the bill came they were horrified to find that the cigars cost more than the meals. Fielding knew that she would not be able to swing the cigars on expenses…

White started circulating the room. When he got to Fielding and Shazzer, they mentioned the terrible shock at the price of the cigars. White took the bill and struck out the cost of the cigars.

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My memories of Marco are stored in a darker corner somewhere he was a person who visited my kitchen.
PS you need water near your BBQ health and safety

You can create your own smoker.
Forgotten how we did it but it was good. Lamb leg roasted in
smoke, hay and a little fresh lavender

Ah James, it looks like you are only grilling your food on the BBq, as others have said smoking which is a long slow cooking process takes it to another level.
I was looking into casting refractory cement into a steel BBq to make it last longer and cook slower.
I played around with a Brinkman smoker as a first step but converted it to gas as keeping it stoked over 6 hours became a problem.
Are you looking for an alternative to your kettle BBq?
The super expensive Kamado range stay hot for hours. Producing beautiful tender briskets etc hence my idea to beef up the BBq with refractory cement.

There"s a lot of varied suggestions above and one option would be to offer a modular system whereby people could either just get what they needed, or build it up over time into something that did everything.

A propos sinks, lots of middle’class South African houses have two kitchens, the second one a braai kitchen on the terrace with a sink, chopping board, fridge (no point in going indoors for another beer!). There’ll also be a TV so the men can stand next to the braai watching rugby or cricket while their wives make the salad (that no one’s going to eat).

The simplest and cheapest thing I have is this, which we use in kettle bbq

https://www.leroymerlin.fr/v3/p/produits/boite-de-fumage-en-acier-naterial-pour-barbecue-e1501884183?megaBoost&gclid=CjwKCAiAi_D_BRApEiwASslbJwEtxedLoT_QFJpmcbn7GyhRIDr9VMxs88KggPlTacv6jG-Ih9053xoCfIEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

But also have a self standing smoker that we built, which is a bit like this but with a small stove attached to it by a pipe- or you can buy them in loads of places. Google fumoir à froid.

That’s what I am planning. Timber frame construction without sides but an outdoor kitchen.

That is most interesting, thank you Jane. We both watched the video and it looks feasible so will look further!

There’s masses of info online, but most of it’s American, Australian or S African . However I’d strongly recommend the following book, Smoking, Curing and Drying; the complete guide for meat and fish, In addition to the advice implied by the title, it give lots of plans and guides for home-made smokers from the very simple to the quite sophisticated and lots of very well-detailed recipes for smoked, cured and air-dried food.

Have a look at

That’s a cuisine d’été :grin:

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Thanks,

We have nearby some French friends who have a maison d’été and a cuisine to match (charming, but not up to SA standards!). The former is in a lovely mediaeval house and the kitchen is in their barn with only three walls on the other sideof the garden. By contrast, their maison de l’hiver is a brand new; hay-bale eco house about 20 kms south of their maison de l"été.

However, I’ve always found that having two homes brings two sets of problems, whereas only having one home and two kitchens is much simpler.

Hi Angela, yes why not, I would interested in that too. :slight_smile:

Don’t the women eat the salad? Or are SA women as carniverous as the blokes?

The BBQ’s proposed so far are on a grand scale, cooking for a crowd. I have a neat little BBQ for the road and I’ve actually used it to cook a meal while en route.

It’s a stainless steel drum, about 35cms long by 25cms dia. Its hinged down the length so opens out into 2 split drums. It has a rack for each side.
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Once the coals have been safely disposed of, all the kit fits inside and a bag of charcoal on top, close the lid, stow away. £25
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For the smokers, here’s one on ebay. £61.93
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Ok thank you all for the feedback to date.

As I am chief ‘layperson’ BBQ tester, can I also please ask everyone, what pisses you off when you are BBQ ing / using your BBQ / about a particular model?

And just BBQ’s rather than other outdoor cooking equipment please.

Thank you!

cleaning the bastard afterwards :wink:

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Depending on what your cooking (chicken, pork mainly) is the fat catching the coals on fire - forever having to lift the grill off!

Getting the bloody thing alight (until I discovered a charcoal lighter :sunglasses:

The wind always blowing in the wrong direction