Help needed because grandchildren are transitioning

I have a friend who cannot come to terms with the fact that two of her grandchildren are transitioning.
Does anyone know of an organisation in France which can help?
I don’t want anything which just supports the young people, but one who understands how difficult is for a much older person to come to terms with this.

5 Likes

I posted exactly the same question a week or so ago! But not grandparent but my friend who is his/her mother.

This is the best I could find for her, but the book is out of stock so could only give her the e-book. I have yet to find a support group.

2 Likes

10 Likes

I suggest not the place Mark. taking the thread in the wrong direction.

8 Likes

Mindline Trans+ is UK wide and does phone support. They’re one of the few that does “family” support. France I wouldn’t have a clue where to begin - but normally LGBT groups are your most likely starting point.

I was presuming that Jane’s friend was French? My friend has had sessions with her child’s psychotherapist which have helped, but she really needs to chat to other mums.

Grandparent. This came up via Chat GPT, PFLAG 1 which is also their website.
Yes, my friend is French.
It looks helpful.
I will pass on your other recommendation.
Having two of her grandchildren wanting to do this is extremely difficult for her.

The issue in France is that things in this aspect, like so many, things are so fragmented, there are lots of regional LGBT societies but not a great deal on a national organised level. Outrans used to do support for relatives as well and did Skype sessions I think, I’m not sure of the current status of that. I have a tonne of UK contacts at Switchboard, MindOut and Mermaids as well as some US ones but little here, and actually have looked as this is actually a work thing, I’ve been involved in setting up a project for a client for a couple of years and was the lead on the European (French) aspect being resident here and have been surprised how limited the resources are here.

Maybe we should put your friend and my friend in touch with each other!

(Sadly probably not viable as my friend lacks so much confidence that talking to a stranger on the phone would probably be too much for her)

The grand panrent in question has my full sympathy.

In my day, I strapped on my sister’s bra and wanted to be a woman. No you don’t, they said, you are just developing a good healthy sexual appetite! How right they were!

Nowadays these mambi pambi types - many who are children carers - encourage this gender change. Many children are being encouraged at a vulnerable age. Sorry, but it is not natural nor right. No wonder granp parents are concerned,

2 Likes

She feels that there is so much pressure on social media to make this step up from being gay or lesbian that, whilst they are not happy with how they feel and apparently have not been for some time, actually changing chender is going far too far.

1 Like

Environmental effects of foods and modern products containing chemicals that mess with our bodies and minds.

2 Likes

The process to transition is very long and arduous. It involves an awful lot of checking to be sure this is right, and a lot of mental health assessments. It is not something anyone could do on a whim, and a lot of the process is about discouraging the young person.

Please provide evidence to back up your statement that child careers encourage this!!

1 Like

Well, the Tavistock Clinic is the most egregious example. Unfortunately the process there was anything but “long and arduous”.

It was disbanded, thank goodness, and one of the reasons was because its procedures were cursory and it was heavily under the influence of pressure groups like Mermaids.

Unfortunately, there is no evidence that - with ever-increasing numbers of diagnoses - clinicians have any more time to condict the assessments than they did then.

1 Like

I don’t know whether your friend doubts that gender dysphoria is a real condition. I don’t think there can be any doubt. I would recommend Time to Change? by Hannah Barnes (BBC Newsnight reporter https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Think-Collapse-Tavistocks-Children/dp/1800751117 ), which dealt with the events which ultimately caused the NHS to close down the Tavistock Clinic. Barnes is by no means sceptical that gender dysphoria is real: her book deals with the effect on clinical staff, and thus patients, of misdiagnosis, pressure groups like Mermaids, peer pressure and social factors.

It’s a complex area and most of us haven’t a clue about the medicine. Many trans ideologues actively discourage dialogue and discussion. So, were your friend to ask why such a high proportion of her grandchildren are diagnosed as trans, she’d probably be labelled transphobic.

One of the factors operating is people who are gay find it more “acceptable” in their family or social setting to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, because that’s something that “explains” their feelings and is treated clinically.

Another is the difficulty of living in a hyper-sexualised society in which young and very young people are allowed to make decisions about gender but not about whether they brush their teeth!

Clinicians also noted that young people with unhappy home lives, or mental health problems, were more significantly more likely to be diagnosed as trans.

The most important thing is this that your friend can offer her grandchildren the unconditional love and acceptance that grandparents are known for. I have a friend whose child is transitioning. One of the most memorable things he tells me he said is, “No part of my love for you is based on your gender.”

2 Likes

I know nothing of the process in other countries. But if this was closed down then isn’t that a good thing? Just becuse something bad existed once doesn’t mean it still exists.

All I know if that my friend’s child is having to go through a lot of hoops, and even after a couple of years has yet to start hormone therapy.

Well I can’t get my head around any of it to be honest, just goes against the grain of how I was brought up that such things were not normal. I wonder how much social media has influenced all this to be honest.

6 Likes

Well, which of us is normal?

Apart from me, obviously. :face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth:

1 Like

I think there comes a point in each generation where the behaviours and mores of the next generation seem bizarre, uncomfortable or downright wrong.

No doubt my parents felt the same about me and my peers listening to loud music, wearing weird clothes, rocketing around the world, and imbibing odd things. And not settling down, getting married and having 2.2 children.

2 Likes

Afghans, flares and flip flops? :hugs::hugs: