How do you integrate?

Integration.
Don’t force it. Be yourselves, It’ll happen naturally! Just like anywhere in the World. Speaking or trying to speak the language or languages of the country will help. Why try be someone else in various circumstances? Unless you have a Jekyll and Hyde psychopathic way of dealing with the community in which you live. :astonished:

Taking care,_paying attention to cultural differences,…just matters. Some places, not caring, doing what comes naturally…which is…following your own cultural habits, no matter where you are…will get you killed, others gaoled…I recommend, caring…

So thank you all for the interesting and thought provoking replies - I posted in such a hurry that I never thought to mention that this is for an article and I was in need of inspiration…certainly got plenty to think about.
If anyone would like to share tips that have worked for them and is happy to be featured in Living France magazine , please feel free to post here or PM me and I will get back to you.

And looking at things slightly differently, what do you think stops people from settling in or slows the process?

Thanks! And have a great weekend . It is chucking it down in soggy Dax but I need to work all weekend anyway so the rain is helping to keep me at my keyboard!
X

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Nobody seems to have mentioned joining the local S&M club - you can get to know members of you community in a very intimate way! (but only if you have been very bad) :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

On a slightly less forward basis - next weekend is our Fetes des Voisins which is normally great fun - I am looking forward to it this year particularly as first time since being here permenantly.

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Ha ha ha!!

A couple of years back I was teaching a seemingly utterly respectable couple in their house as they were planning to emigrate and wanted to improve their English. When I turned up one Monday morning I asked my usual “Did you have a nice weekend? So that I can then ask “and what did you do?” (Past tense practice!).

He replied “Oh yes, it was my birthday and we went to a ‘libertine’ club. It was really good.”

The wife nodded enthusiastically.

I have never moved so fast onto “oh so what are you going to do this week. At work…”

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Well we’ve cut down the three patches of pampas grass we inherited with our house. :sweat_smile:. It was at the back though to be fair.

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Integration… Interesting concept!

I can imagine (not yet being resident in France myself yet) that it would be far easier in a small village or commune than in a sizeable town. Our house is in Carmaux which is a small to medium sized town and I have no idea how many Brits live there or nearby - although I do know of, and have met, Andrew and his Tabac!

As the house was originally my inlaws place, we do already know the neighbours well but that is as far as it goes really. I follow the town Facebook page to keep up with what is happening - it is very good for announcing all sorts of activities, festivals etc. - and I am sure that, when the time finally comes that we move permanently to France, we will look to partake in those activities that interest us.

Unfortunately, I dont think that living in Carmaux will introduce us to a more intimate “integration” that we might have been able to achieve if we had bought a house in a small village or commune.

When I arrived in France I joined the International Womans group. 6 years later I have different groups of friends all nationalities. We enjoy lunches with partners, culture trips, wine tasting, so many different activities that I cannot attend all but it keeps us busy. I dont think I would have become a resident here without my group. France is now home for us.

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Hello Pauline and welcome to the forum

My word… 6 years… and you’ve only just found us… :rofl::upside_down_face:

You’ve obviously taken everything in your stride… well done. :relaxed::relaxed:

I think you have hit the nail on the head with the question “Does that make me integrated or not-and does it matter?” The term ‘integration’ often, it seems to me, to be used as a kind of ‘oneupmanship’ device, rather like the term ‘unprofessional’ is used to castigate people (despite the user often not being able to define either ‘integration’ or ‘professionalism’).

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Integration, a process whereby previously dissociated elements come together to form a coherent whole. I did not consult a dictionary or Google, promise :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

Well, that’s me done for then!!!

I haven’t formed a coherent whole for many years…

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“I haven’t formed a coherent whole for many years…” @carlmt

Neither have I, and I did say it was a process. The end-state is elusive, but worth pursuing? :roll_eyes::stuck_out_tongue:

As kids, we loved the records made by Allen Sherman, a predecessor to Wierd Al Yankovic. Even though we didn’t know the songs he was parodying (waaaaay before our time!), his lyrics were highly amusing. Even today, when that “Dreadful Dirge” begins, I hear in my mind his opening lines:

Louis the Sixteenth was the King of France in 1789
He was worse than Louis the Fifteenth
He was worse than Louis the Fourteenth
He was worse than Louis the Thirteenth
He was the worst since Louis the First

The tune then changes to “You Came a Long Way from St. Louis” , where we are treated to the following lyrics:

You went the wrong way, Old King Louie
You made the population cry
'Cause all you did was sit and pet
With Marie Antoinette
In your place at Versailles

And now the country’s gone kablooie
So we are giving you the air
That oughta teach you not to
Spend all your time fooling 'round
At the Folies Bergere

If you had been a nicer king,
We wouldn’t do a thing,
But you were bad, you must admit
We’re gonna take you and the Queen
Down to the guillotine,
And shorten you a little bit.


Anyway, just wanted to share my enjoyment. Although non-dirge-like, our own (Yank) National Anthem is well nigh impossible to sing. When the poor singer draws ever-closer to that high note (laa-and of the freeeeeee), my shoulders start hunching in sympathy.

Happy Victoria’s Day to those hailing from Canada!

Do you like Tom Lehrer? Another marvellous satirist, I love him.

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Oh, yes! His hunting song had a comeback after the infamous Dick Cheney v. His Attorney incident. :slight_smile: He’s not too bad at the piano, either!

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Brilliant, especially his element song.

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Maybe easier for me as I had my husbands family when we lived in the Ardennes, through time made my own friends in the village named guignicourt sur vence .
When we moved south I made friends in work .the French auto trader. Stayed there for 13 years then went on to work for the printers of the auto trader. Been here 15 years working on international clients for the markets in Cannes, so much easier for clients to print here instead of using shipping companies. I began it , no clients 0€ chiffre d’affaires, to now over 700,000€ a year. Oops back to subject… my real friends from my previous job , and made new friends at the printers. I am not the social butterfly, I love my home life too much and my children and grandchildren.
However if I want I can call my friends and meet up for lunch, a walk along the beach, but only if i feel like it, they too can call me.
I love the French, I live that they live my terrible accent, I just love living here with lovely people who have been supportive during my year of cancer.
Bosses who have supported me throughout…
friends who came to visit, bring me some lovely wines :blush: yep the chemo and wine actually blended very nicely at times :joy::joy::joy::joy:
Intégration is what we make of it ourselves. I really think this is an interesting topic…

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I think you are right, integration is what you make of it.
We struck lucky here in the Hauts de Trivy.
Retired professionals from Lyon and farmers, I come from a farming family and Jim ran his own Business and IT systems consultancy .
In the village I think it could be very different.

I have to say, Immigrant is the word. A good French friend mentioned that the local “Brit Clique” were well accepted but they are classed as ‘Ex pats’. If you integrate, try and speak the local language (its Catalan round here) you become an Immigrant. Badge of honour as far as I’m concerned. I have heated in my local restaurant, and this is true. Local Brits had visitors. She said to her friend “you don’t need to speak French. Just speak English slowly and loudly and they understand you”. Grrrrrrr!