I thought those sorts of Brits were '70’s clichés. It’s appalling in 2019.
Wot, with joined-up writing too ?
I think you’ll find they still make up 51.9% of the population.
Sorry Peter - I meant dictate, not write.
Sometimes ‘integration’ is a bit of false target, and probably unattainable. Even amongst the French there is a quiet antipathy towards Parisians for example, and even villages are not ‘integrated’ with each other either.
I am not saying these are ‘closed’ against foreigners, but like all Clubs people gravitate to people who are like-minded. What I DO find odd, and I speak from experience of three regions over 20 years, is how many of the English people resist contact or association with other Brits.
It’s almost a reverse snobbery, and one English guy I asked a question of in Argentat when we first arrived in this area, told me in his most snooty voice ‘If I wanted to speak or mi with other English I wouldn’t have moved to France!’. So I advised him to go forth and multiply which probably reinforced his attitude!
My French wife has given up on the English as we/she has never been invited back for a return lunch and she is wondering what she did wrong. In my view nothing, but then again I could be something else, although I can’t really think of anything.
On the other hand we have a very active reciprocal deal going with the French, who are admirable in their tolerance of my deafness and poor French (they usually go together)
In summary I find the French really friendly, and the Brits. largely the opposite.
We’re very lucky to have a good mixture of French and British friends here in France. Our Brit friends mostly hail from our French class so I suppose we are like minded in our determination to learn the language.
Our French friend are our friendly neighbours who cope valiantly with our mangled French and correct us very gently but firmly.
I can’t walk past a house with Pampas grass without muttering “swingers” under my breath…
Got some nice Hydrangeas now.
Their loss Norman, I would love to have bi-lingual acquaintances/friends.
I have only met a handful of English people that I would have liked to keep in touch with, but so many I have met that (through a third party) I am very wary of, I am amazed how many of them know/work for/are friends with famous people
Why is it that snooty people have such loud voices? IMO
Being intrusive, nosey, supercillious and loud is not necessarily a preserve of the ‘snooty’ Brit but l take your point. Why is it that Supermarket shopping requires Brits to shout at one another from adjacent aisles - l don’t remember them doing it in Slough, Bromley, Hackney or Billericay.
What a sheltered life l must have lead Gideon - if only l’d known:smiling_imp:
My limited contact with fellow Brits locally has led me to the same 50/50 conclusion.
The Brits who work legitimately in France, are known in town by name, speak French and/or have children in school are not noticeably ‘guarded’ in manner towards me and my wife.
Meeting the other 50% it’s hard not to sense that they wonder if I might not be wary of their residential/tax status and how they make their living. Not that it’s any of my business! But it’s the ‘elephant in the room’ in conversations.
Their out-of-town properties always seem to be surrounded by old RHD cars and bits of heavy machinery or building materials.
They almost always want to know if I have anything to sell.
I don’t want to stereotype anyone, but one must trust one’s instincts and intuitions, and my wife has a very good nose when it comes to sniffing out potential trouble.
The Australian vendor of our new French home warned us more than once at the hand-over, “Don’t trust the anglais!”.
Goodness me-I’m glad I’m not so judgemental.
We all make judgements when it’s a matter of our own security, Sue, and you are judging me as your critical comment reveals.
This is a small French town where British people are judged by the French host population on how they conduct themselves, including the company they keep, and - believe me - Normandy folk have had to tolerate and accommodate the presence of ‘alien invaders’ for many years, and not a few bear the scars, as they have told me personally.
When we lived in Essex we were burgled by a neighbour who stole my wife’s handbag (and its valuable if not priceless contents) by entering our house via the garden gate and back door while she was dozing on the sofa after coming off late-shift duty at Southend Hospital.
He was seen entering the house, which he knew very well, as he lived opposite. We were tipped off about this later.
The police advised us not to pursue the matter as it could have negative consequences in terms of neighbourly relations! So my judgement is quite well-developed in the matter of who can be taken at face value, and who not.
Some “expats” in Normandy (and some French) are dubious riff-raff and everyone knows it.
You’ve caught me on that one - can you explain it please?
Interesting, and I suppose Normandy etc;, are easier to make a quick exit if required?
Don’ t think,that applies here, although one never knows, but most are of very longstanding 10+ years . They are all very pleasant - but distant - maybe, even probably it is me. I know I am not to everyone’s (anyone’s?) taste!
I think it’s a bit of an urban myth but has caused a sharp decline in the sale of the plants… https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/pampas-grass-sales-swinging-sex-connotations-seventies-houses-front-garden-a7764796.html
I briefly read an article which mentioned ‘closed villages’ - these were places where outsiders were not generally welcome. Having lived in the neighbouring county of Herefordshire where many, though certainly not all people came across as rather insular, I would hate to repeat the same mistake.
Has anyone on here encountered such places in France where despite one’s best efforts it was an uphill struggle to integrate.? Are there any places to avoid. Does anyone have any experience of Catalan areas in S.France, for that is on our wish list. With plans to rent for several months we should be able to rule in or out potential areas to buy a place for ourselves but I was intrigued and a little disturbed by the article which unfortunately I cannot find AT the moment.
Actually to integrate takes more than a few months.
You will be able to tell if people are polite, but to integrate you need to have something in common with the people you intend to live.
If you are not from a farming background, do not expect to understand farming life. Try and find an area, perhaps where there is a larger mix of people, even if they are retirees.
We had an English couple in our village who thought that by throwing large parties they would be accepted. So wrong, it made people uncomfortable because they do not, or could not, reciprocate in the same way.
Having lived in a small Normandy town for a mere five years it seems apparant to us that there are small communities of people within the 3,000 commune inhabitants, based on ancient localities, in which people, often neighbours, have deep rooted familial or kinship relationships, and where long histories of feuds or property disputes still hold sway.
My elderly Norman neighbour has often referred to the ‘community’ of birds whose territories coincide with those of about 50 homesteads, all gathered around what used to the the local ‘gare’, and various enterprises that grew up around, including our house which was a small hotel and bar-restaurant until the Occupation when the railway was closed.
The birds include a family of 4 crows, a family of 3 pigeons, two tourterelles, three rouge-gorges, an elusive creeping thrush, a wren. My neighbour says that the crows rule the territory, but all the birds co-exist in a kind of uneasy but wary truce. The same seems to the case with neighbours. It is a very intricate, generally stable but highly sensitive web of relationships that is prone to disruption by hew entrants, so the latter are treated with suspicion by most, if not all, settled members. With whom will they affiliate? Can they be trusted? It’s like the early stages in a game of chess, or belote. How you play your hand will be watched by everyone. Proceed with caution, stay schtum about yourself and your private life. Leave intégration to the ‘other side’ and don’t let yourself be drawn into relationships with others until you have had time to see how others deal with them. Assume nothing and say less. Play integration long, don’t be over keen to get accepted, it’s not how it’s done ‘over here’.