Prior to buying we stayed in a succession of gîtes - some good, some less so.
This was typical of the utensils we were provided in one kitchen
and their idea of electrical safety did not impress either
The living room in the gîte was accessible via an unlocked door to the outside (via an undeveloped bit of the property) and the advertised internet connection was about 128kbit/s, via an ancient powerline adapter.
Very nearly the worst property we ever stayed in.
Come on then - spill the beans!
Edit to add: my worst was at the end of winter in a freezing cold place in Turkey - Büyükada. The heating had broken and the ‘luxury bathroom’ was the size of a broom cupboard and boasted a Turkish-style loo with the shower directly overhead. And that was it.
It’s a bit of a debate - my wife and I agree the one above would have been the worst had it not been for the fact that it had a pool.
After that there are a few contenders - such as the property we had in 2004 with a 6 month old where the garden was used as a toilet by the neighbour’s dog (the gîte wasn’t great either) or the one where the “open plan kitchen” consisted of little more than an oven and sink in one corner of the living room which had no outside space iof its own, just a shared garden with the owner. That one not helped by several days of torrential rain and thunderstorms during the holiday.
Or possibly the one we had in Canet which could best be described as a “bait and switch” from back in the '90s when picking a property was a question of searching through tiny thumbnail photos in a book - then the owner decided at the last minute there was a hitch but she had another property. The one we ended up in was tiny, ill equipped with almost no outside space (just a small balcony), and seemed to have millions of narrow stairs to get about the place (it was above someone’s garage). But we were young and did not mind such inconveniences at the time - indeed it all seemed part of the adventure.
Resembles what was one of my worst, a workers’ hostel in the Fez medina in 1976, where the toilet cum shower was communal. And the window looked out onto a graveyard.
Mind you, the following year at Matmata in Tunisia, I had a cave for a few days that had been a part of a Star Wars’ set.
We’re drifting into the ‘Yorkshiremen’ sketch territory…
I hope you were cautious. 
Well it looked like a hive of sorts - and I see some of the caves have had a lick of paint since we were there:-
I think you really need to reword that 
I have never understood the hatred of such an arrangement, providing it is kept as clean as any other decent bathroom.
As long as ageing knees will stand it it is surely far more hygenic than putting your bare bum on wherever the world and his friend have stuck theirs. And to have the convenience of a shower in the same place must be a dream come true. I have at home a shower, a toilet and a bidet, 3 shufflings about in the same small room. What heaven to have everything in the same spot. 
The first time I encountered such an arrangement was at Concorezzo, a suburb of Milan, at a drivers’ restaurant next door to the customs. My first thought was horror, but then I saw the gleaming white and clean porcelain and the equally clean made to measure wooden duckboard leaning against the wall, and I was converted.
Mind you, London dockers had such a low opinion of drivers that they forced them to use the ‘Asian toilets’ built there exclusively for the lascars, Indian seamen of which there were many. We, drivers and lascars, made sure we left them as clean as we found them and pitied the poor dockers in their wretched middens. 
We have several particularly memorable stays. In a tiny town in Normandy, the only shower was reached via the dining room. It gave the male diners a treat when Madame came out in a towel.
And a stay in a farm in the Picos de Europa, advertised as having separate shower for guests. In fact, there was only one bathroom, with shower over it, and the farmer kept his wellies in the bath. It was a dairy farm, in summer … we left after two days, with no objection from the farmer.
But the rest area restaurants on motorways in Spain are far superior to anything in France or the UK.
We had a gite east of Rennes in 1994. When we arrived, the owners who lived next door were waiting for us with a car full of children and suitcases. They were going on holiday when we were and asked if we could look after their 20 sheep who were in a field next to the gite. The guy explained what needed to be done, jumped into his car and left. Although it was a bit of a surprise, we actually enjoyed feeding and watering the sheep 
, so it was actually quite an enjoyable holiday.
A good point. We used to rent out a gîte in a nearby village and and we also did chambre d’hôtes at home. For the gîte we stayed overnight a few times and checked out the comfort, practicalities, and equipment. Our clients praised us for having thought of everything ! And it was also quite fun.
We restored our gite thinking one day it might be our home - underfloor heating, double glazing, etc etc. In fact when we were restoring our house we moved into the gite and for a while used it as our “winter quarters”. It’s interesting how many of our guests think of our gite as not “just” a gite but “our home” and they take excellent care of it.
Surviving Spain then, not France!
The experience of visiting a gite elsewhere has informed/taught the OP a thing or two about running their own business better, in France. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Any chance of a piccie?
Wondering if the issue with corkscrews is that they may disappear.
Certainly 
You can get different ‘strengths’ - referred to as grit size. A coarse card would have a grit size of (say) 300. You can then get 600, 800, 1000, 1200, 2000 etc etc. The higher the grit number, the finer the edge that can be produced. Many cards are double sided to allow initial shaping then final sharpening.
For standard domestic use, I’d suggest a 300/600, or if you’re a bit more pernickety, a 600/1000.
When you use them, it’s best to lubricate the surface with a drip of honing oil. If you don’t have any, then a drop of any cooking oil would be just about as good.
Only if they meet a Snark:
You will softly and suddenly vanish away,
And never be met with again!’
Sorry to hear you had a bad experience, I would like to think that the owners would be more thoughtful about the paying guests!
We drove from Devon to Charente France 15+ hrs with our 2 dogs for what was supposed to be a relaxing Christmas holiday (son flying in to stay with us) in addition to property viewing as we hope to make a permanent move to France. I had been in contact with owners on multiple occasions and as they were staying in property before we arrived we felt sure we’d picked a good place!
Like yourself we found the kitchen overstocked with glasses & plates & nowhere to store food so spent time rearranging cupboards. House was covered in cobwebs, under the table pulling out chairs you could hear the webs breaking, behind the headboards, simply everywhere and the owners had been there 2 weeks previously!
The (uncleaned) double oven only worked on one side, the other side was unsafe as the whole lining came away when removing racks. Was sent a portable electric oven but preparing Christmas dinner was a nightmare. Late Christmas night whilst sat infront of fire the chimney lining collapsed sending fist sized chunks of masonry and burning wood across the floor, it was absolutely terrifying! Needless to say we decided to leave but had to wait to book vets for dogs return checks, rebook Le Shuttle and overnight hotel. Our son was booked to fly to back to UK on 28 Dec.
We had an unfortunate power cut the next day as was quite common in France this sadly lasted 4+hrs. A builder came to look at chimney, we were told not safe to use fireplace as chimney might collapse further. Additionally, we were not informed that one of the external buildings was supported by acrow props, this area was not cordoned off so our dogs were not free to run as we’d hoped. We told owners we were leaving and they thought we were over reacting and 3+ weeks later we are in a dispute trying to recoup our losses. Was offered a partial refund we declined & awaiting litigation, looks like we’ll be heading to court!
