I had to suffer it you can too

Stars in Their Eyes.

When this show was around and Mathew Kelly was the presenter, a guy on crutches came onto the stage and introduced himself as Simon from Norfolk.

Kelly said to him "Tell the audience a little about yourself Simon."

"Well a couple of years ago I lost the bottom part of my body in a tractor accident and it was touch and go for me, but they managed to save me."

Kelly said "Wow! that was terrible, but I see that you are now on crutches, how is that possible?"
Simon answered "My uncle Sam, bless him, died of a heart attack at only 42 and a team of specialist surgeons performed a miracle by attaching my uncles lower body part to me and soon I'll be able to walk without the crutches."

After a standing ovation from the audience, many of them in tears, Kelly shook Simon's hand, put his arm around his shoulders and said "A fantastic and amazing story there Simon...and who are you going to be tonight?"

"Tonight Mathew..I'm going to be......Simon and Half uncle!"

TBH I've laughed at most of your jokes because they remind me of my husband, but the the plus point is you're not my husband and I haven't heard them a zillion times :) Pls keep up the good work!