1965 Triumph TR4A
Montlhéry circuit
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We had an American girl staying with us who spoke no French at all and asked me to go to the doctor with her.
I was quite proud of my French explaining her symptoms, then the doctor turned to her and asked in perfect English “So do you want to tell me what the problem is?”
I was crushed! 
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The first time I went into our local Point P builder’s merchants I tried to explain what I was looking for, but the (middle-aged N African looking) sales assistant politely suggested (in virtually accentless English) that it might easier to proceed in my language rather than his. We did, and we still do.
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Yes, she loved the clicks? My daughter who was four at the time and joined in learning with her Mum still does them.
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Love them too, but it’s surprising how loud some of them can be
Well it really is not just about speaking French it is about fully understanding the complexities of how the country operates.
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Must confess I had no idea just how isolated/insular some Brits wanted to be until we reached the application- deadline for CdSWA cards…
I suddenly came across folk I never knew existed… and one couple had been happily isolating for 30 years…
Phew, their isolation and lack of understanding French kept them oblivious … but it’s all sorted now… and they’re back in their “hermitage”… legal and above board.
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There is,of course, absolutely no reason to do anything you don’t want to! However, I’m not a joiner either but I have joined some local associations, really as a means to an end. They have put me in contact with people I wouldn’t otherwise have met and a few of whom have become friends whereas others have been “useful” e.g. knowing some of the maire-adjoints in the town has paved the way for other things.
In the UK I didn’t join clubs and had absolutely no need to do so - I had friends, I spoke the language perfectly and I understood the culture - only too well, on some occasions. I had run a business amongst other things and that made me aware of a great deal.
However, being here as a retired person, I had some French but little understanding of the culture. I had no contacts, very few friends and it was a massive uphill struggle in a great many areas. Many people survive this by making friends with other Brits and getting help in all the areas that are difficult. I decided to try and understand things for myself. It entirely depends on what you are here for and what you want out of the life you have. As @stella says, we are all very different and go about things in different ways.
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I very much understand this - If you’ve been minding your own business, paying your bills, maintaining your home etc and you don’t want to be surrounded with people, then withdrawing from society seems entirely reasonable. It’s quite easy to see why they might wonder what on earth the administration wants when they haven’t changed a thing in all that time.
There’s a side of me that would be happy to just withdraw to a small cottage on a Welsh hillside (well, I’d prefer somewhere warmer and dryer, but you know what I mean).
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For obvious reasons… I have not given full details… sufficient to say that I have every faith in you ensuring/maintaining a legal position… wherever you decided to settle/hideaway… 
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I am generally still people-centric, when they aren’t being back-passages, so probably wouldn’t do it - but I can sympathise with those who do.
It was kind of you to help them continue to live their chosen lives.
that’s what folk do here … we help one another… then step back…
unless invited to step forward…
that’s my experience of Country Life…
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Reminds me of my dear late (French) uncle who would intercept map reading tourists in Hong Kong and insist on taking them all the way to their destination.
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The doc in question was an arse.
Actually make that a rude arse.
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It’s interesting to read so many different perspectives of this. I’ve owned my house for 15 years, but I’ve always worked shifts, so it’s not been possible to get to any evening classes. That doesn’t mean I dont try. I used to be an avid listener to Michele Thomas cd’s and more recently, Duolingo has been a huge help.
My problem is remembering what I’ve learned when I need it. My head knows what it wants to say and whilst it’s not great French, its ok, but my mouth says something completey different. Usually gibberish!
Ok, I’m getting on a bit and it’s definitely harder to learn and retain what I learn, but for me it’s a question of manners. I’m a bit of a recluse, so for the most part it’s shopping and day to day things that I need the language for, but I think it’s extemely rude not to try. I’ve moved to someone else’s country. It’s not their place to learn my language, it’s my place to learn theirs.
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Today after the morning market we were having a drink outside a café with some Dutch friends and a French friend of one came over and introductions were made. OH (whose first language is Afrikaans) told him in French how long we’d lived in the Aveyron, but used ‘pendant’ instead of ‘depuis’. After a moment’s moment’s confusion because he thought we’d left the area, he very courteously gave us a quick leçon de grammaire . Love it! - the people care about their language.
Sometimes, usually after that above mentioned moment of incomprehension, I get impromptu lessons from my butcher on prononciation correcte de l’Aveyron. Mind you, his atelier is in the Cantal.
My late wife joined the local competitive Scrabble association. She was good at it, made new friends and added interesting words to her vocabulary weekly. She’d note them all down in her little book and research them later.
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We don’t take having our grammar corrected as rudeness 
so we aren’t afraid to correct other people. I think this is another cultural difference.
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Hats off to your late wife, John. That’s quite some achievement!
My partner and I play a game called Bananagram - imagine playing Scrabble but instead of having a single playing board that you share with the other players, you each have your own playing area and you can change the words as you get new letters. Unlike Scrabble, however, you don’t get points but the winner is the person who gets rid of all their letters first.
Mostly we play it in English but very, very occasionally we’ll attempt it in French. I find it incredibly hard but a good way for me to think about my French vocab.
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We travel around the world on holiday so cannot talk every language of every country we visit as English is a spoken everywhere, not being lazy it’s just the way of the world except France being lazy which will hold them back to the rest of the world.
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