I just had to get down to writing this message.It has taken me time and lots of meditation beforehand, but here is the truth and nothing but the truth.
It must have been 2011 when i decided to subscribe to SFN, thinking that i will come online now and again to see what is going on.Which I did for a few months without answering a message.
Finally much later I started to answer messages and give my opinion.
But sometimes there were psots which irritated me and instead of waiting a few hours to cool down i answered straight away, with my way of thinking, which was not always understood, truly i have not lived in britain or spoken english for many decennies, so i can understand what i tried to explain was not always understood.
Here is my reason for writing this post, i used to get so cross that I clicked on the button "sign out".
Thinking that is it, this site is not made for me.But day after day i would come back and read what was going on, and usually thinking "no really i can not let that question go by, i must answer"nothing easier you might be saying, so I would click on the "sign in" and say what i had to say.Very childish you might say, really how old is this lady doing silly things like that.Quite right i did feel a little stupid, but i came back anyway.
Today i must say that I really enjoy reading and discussing with you all.From now on i hope that i will finally decide to stay for as long as I can; Thanks to all, i hope i did not bore you with my real life story.
My italian is very poor but I think they are discussing whether linguine should be served more or less al dente than fettuccine. An issue that has divided Italian society for hundreds of years.
Yes Johnny, agree with almost all of what you say, only difference being that having no body signals or voice intonation to interpret, means, to me at least, that there is an absence of false signals to confuse, or muddy the waters in a discussion. The impression that you get, should be, therefore, a clearer impression of the authour's actual thoughts without the person (persona=mask).
Silvio Berlusconi meets Alex Jones might be a scoop. Kinda Verdi with Lynyrd Skynyrd playing along. Yippee-i-oh, Va, pensiero, sull'ali dorate; va, ti posa sui clivi, sui colli ove olezzano tepide e molli l'aure dolci del suolo natal! Yippee-i-ayeeeee!
I have to trust all humans and that as such trust that they will behave like humans from angels to thieves depending upon who they are. An internet community is like a small town with all the different types of people that you would meet in a town. I try to apply some rules, just for me because I am a grumpy old man.
Never expect anything from anyone because that will lead to disappointment. Always respect someone else's opinion because that is their right. They also have a right of reply which should be respected. Do not personalise a reply in a disagreement because you will be making a fool of yourself. Don't add mundane replies just because you like to see your little picture everywhere. Always bring something new to the table in other words. Don't look for conflict because you will always find it. We do not have the right to feel annoyed at another human for having an opinion.
I try not to sleep on anything contentious because I then won’t sleep well and will give a grumpy reply the next day.
I have just restated the way I would behave if I walked into the local supermarket coffee shop and wanted to join in a debate.
They are my rules and being human I sometimes forget. Now if I step out of line you can remind me of them.
I totally get where you are coming from and I couldn't agree more about the heat of the reply. I, like Suzanne tend to try and sleep on a reply before I post to avoid unnecessary conflict, but there are some subjects that just get my goat, sweeping generalisations of certain groups of people being one that I simply cannot sleep on! But it does make for interesting reading, can draw a chuckle for those less involved and also is part of what makes SFN the wonderful site that it is.
We are allowed to freely express our opinion, (politely of course Catharine ;)) and can often find new friends with common ground as a result.
I live in an area where I don't see many expats so I communicate almost entirely in French, apart from my weekly calls home to Dad and Sister and the Skype sessions to Canada. Sometimes I read what I have written and think to myself....you are forgetting your English Deedee!! Terrible really but that's just the way it is.
So all of that to say, I'm glad you are staying. I agree with your post and I love the fact that you wrote it because it is probably true of many of us!! ;)
I agree with elaine brett. This is what makes people and relationships interesting. It's what life's about and without it there'd be no conversation, no challenging of opinions and therefore no personal growth. Always good to have a counter opinion.
Consider an orchestra with 80 players, each doing their own part and listening to the others to stay in time. The result? A beautiful noise.
Life and forums are no different. We all have our part to play - and through that, we have a voice worth listening to. So keep going carol lokocki! Share, post, rant, praise, challenge and feel part of it because you are.
I've had the same sentiments about SFN as you Carol. I joined over a year ago without actually taking part in any of the discussions. I had noticed that most of the members were from the UK and the tone intimidated me. I live a simple life and have not traveled the world,do not have multiple diplomas, a ++ IQ,a fat wallet and all of the extras. All of that doesn't really matter in the end. I'm beginning to get a feel for the people behind their posts and I like what they have to say even if I don't always share their points of view or even know what they 're talking about. Towies? Mincemeat pie? Costa awards? Thank goodness for google and wiki or I'd really be lost. SFN has shown me how different we Americans are and it's been fun trying to bridge the gap so here I am warts and all.
I think people genuinely value each other and there opinions on SFN - so interesting how virtual support/friendship systems have developed with social media - and even an opinion that is disagreeable creates a point of contact and social discourse opportunity I like to stand by the “agree to differ” rule personally whilst maintaining my views - blessings on you Carole for being so honest and nothing wrong with a little childishness, quite refreshing really.
I totally get where you are coming from Carol, I have a little rule - sleep on it. If I get a response to one of my blogs which is a bit moody then I usually try to ignore it but if it does manage to irritate me then I try to sleep on it & respond carefully the next day. It's very easy to get drawn into an argument when you don't really want to argue but the problem is it is too easy to type and click whereas in the real world you would (hopefully) hold back a bit or bite your tongue, AND of course things can be taken the wrong way in type as there are no facial expressions to help. Anyway I for one am happy you are staying :)