Most Ridiculous Spam

Just like the title says, please feel free to share the most ridiculous spam you have recently received. Here’s my initial offering…

oh my gosh, Catharine Higginso!

Here is Desiree , we were classmates!

Do you remember me? I was that busty girl with pigtails!

Cindy gave me your email, so, thats nice to meet you arfter all these years!

Just for your information: now I am serious scientist, working on wikipedias behalf

If you need something, just let me know.

Love the punctuation!

And now I have just been sent a message from someone dealing with “my dead parents bank account” - eerm - they are (happily) both still alive…!

This is my favourite to date…


Attention: Sir/Madam,

We received your email and contents well noted. This is not a child’s play, you will be taken to any length if you fail to provide us with the proof of fund you are about to received. As a Federal Commission we are here to protect your interest and the interest of all the United State citizens as well as the world at large. You have been investigated as the beneficiary of the said funds that is why the FBI contacted you for a solid proof before the funds will be released to you. The said funds is now in The Bank of America in your name which has been placed on hold under our custody for further verification and proof before releasing the fund to you. You do not have this document in your files. If you do, the fund would not have been withheld. We did not believe this at first instance, but when we saw the transfer we had no option than to contact you .We have gone through your Identification record and also the information we received about you., we have verified so many things. It has come to the attention

This fund is from Inheritance 'willed ’ from C.B.N Bank Nigeria. With full concern of The F.B.I and the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) We wish to remind you of the consequences of receiving such huge sums of money without complying fully with the provisions of the Financial and Allied Matters Decree 5 as amended in sub-section C (6) of 2003, which stipulates that any monetary transaction being done in the United States Of America, must have proper records, which duly guarantees and covers the transaction as legitimate and legally acquired and not criminally or terrorist associated funds. This is due to ongoing terrorist activities/economic crimes against the United States of America and its citizens and the world at large. Note. With the information’s we have here, the fund in your name here was release from Federal Republic of Nigeria. To this effect, you are to contact the Economic and financial crime commission (EFCC)of Nigeria where the fund was released from as they are only constituted and trusted body

You do not have any right to receive this fund if the documented legal wire information is not complete. For your own good and benefit, you are advised not to send your money to anybody accept the below person that will get the document for you. It has come to our notice that you have been dealing with scammers regarding the present transaction in your name, with the power imposed on us as a high Federal Commission, you are hereby warned and instructed to terminate your involvement with any people or individual contacting you regarding this present transaction. The said fund is now in our custody but in your name as the beneficiary, your dealings should be channeled to this office alone, if we find out that you are still communicating with imposters, you will be charged for advance fraud communication by the Federal Law. The very heart of FBI operations lies in our investigations–which serve, as our mission states, 'to protect and defend the United States and outside world against terrorism and foreign inte

We have done our verification on your FBI Identification Record with your Social Security Number; the only document left is the required Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) Which should be issued to you from the paying country of the said fund. You are to contact the ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIMES COMMISSION (EFCC) Nigeria to obtain the above required document, find below their contact information:

Contact Person: Mr. Frank Donald
Tel: +234-01-761 7832
Direct Line: +234 70 6522 3919
Office Address: 15A Awolowo Road, Ikoyi, Lagos. Nigeria.

Furthermore, be advised that according to the United States Law, together with the FBI rules and regulations, you are to obtain the document from the EFCC from where the transfer initiated. ALSO NOTE!!YOU ARE TO TAKE CARE OF THE DOCUMENTS BY SENDING TO THE EFCC NIGERIA THE SUM OF $1950.00 DOLLARS ONLY FOR THE ISSUANCE OF THE DOCUMENTS. That is the only way the EFCC NIGERIA will issue you the document, because they are going to issue to you the original copy of the document for the release of your fund. You are therefore advised to Contact them through the details above to inquire from them on how to go about it. We have already informed them about the present situation, so go ahead and contact them immediately. Your fund is now in our custody and will not be released to you unless the required DIST clearance certificate is receive by this office after which the fund will be released to you immediately without any delay. Failure to follow the instruction, you will face the law.

NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for no criminal justice purposes and contact the head of anti-fraud unit of EFCC, Nigeria in person of Mr. Frank Donald to obtain the documents on the information above.
WARNING: failure to produce the above requirement in the next 72 hours, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you. You will be jailed as terrorism; drug trafficking and money laundry is a serious problem in our community today. The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and prosecuting any criminal who indulge in this criminal act.

Your’s Sincerely

Robert S. Mueller III
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D

CC: Canadian Police Association
CC: Asia Pacific Group on Money Laundering (APG)
CC: Egmont Group
CC: European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD)
CC: Financial Action Task Force (FATF)
CC: International Monetary Fund (IMF)
CC: International Organization of Securities Commissions (IOSCO)
CC: International Banking Security Association (IBSA)
CC: International Air Transport Association (IATA)
CC: Institut de Formation Interbancaire (INSIG)
CC: World Customs Organization (WCO)
CC: Inter-American Development Bank (IADB)
CC: Offshore Group of Banking Supervisors (OGBS)

And another one!

Dear Friend,

Greetings and compliments of the season,

I Know This Message Will Come to You as a Surprise. Please due welcome the letter and help me out as you finish reading. I Am (Larsan Barro) secretary to the Foreign Remittance Manager. (Bank of Africa)B.O.A.Here in Burkina Faso. West Africa, I Need Your Urgent Assistance In Transferring The Sum Of ($8.2) Million To Your Account.

This Money Has Been Dormant For Years In Our Bank Without Claim. I Want The Bank To Release The Money To You As The Nearest Person To Our. Deceased Customer, Upon Your Reply. I Will Give You Details on How the Business Will Be Executed, and I hope that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for mutual benefits of our families.

I am waiting for your response!!!

Have a great day

Larsan Barro.

Here’s a good one - do you think I should ask for a donation to SFN?

From Mrs. Grace Williams,
The Portland Hospital for Women and Children
205 - 209 Great Portland Street.
London W1W 5AH

I am Mrs. Grace Williams a widow to late Mr. Larson Williams, I am 61 years old, I am a new Christian convert, suffering from long time cancer of the breast, with all indications my condition is really deteriorating, according to my doctors here in this Hospital, and in all indication regards to medical analysis, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage that is the reason I am contacting you.

Some unknown persons murdered my late husband, and during the period of our marriage we could not produce any child. My late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth which I made some donations in part of Asia and Africa Now I decided to give out this wealth, to contribute to the development of charity organization which includes the less privilege and the motherless children anywhere in the world. I am willing to donate the sum of six million dollars, to the less privileged.

Please, I beg you in the name of God to help me collect the deposit and distribute it accordingly. Use your judgment to distribute the money and keep 10% of it to yourself Lastly, I honestly pray that this money when transferred will be used for the said purpose even though I am late then, because I have come to find out that wealth acquisition without Christ is vanity and I made the promise to God that the fund will be use to build his temple.

May the grace of our lord Jesus the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you, and your family.

All correspondence must be strictly by email due to the condition of my health.

God bless you.

I love the rear antique collector bit - the mind boggles…

Here’s one I received last week!

Hello Friend,

My name is Mrs. ROSE VEICHT. I was married to Raymond Veicht who was an rear antique collector. before he died in a train crash in Germany. I was the benefactor of his wealth and estate. I have always wished to help the poor, needy and/or disadvantaged individuals through charity all my life. But this illness (sorry I can’t disclose it, yet), surfaced at a very wrong time .

I am 62-years old with £2,327,000 (Two-Million Three Hundred and Twenty seven thousands Pound Sterling) and seeking to use this to fund at least 3-charity organisation around the world.

Due to my health I cannot directly rate, co-ordinate the usage of the funds by the charity organisations as I need to rest.

Please, write me back(CLICK REPLY) if you can assist me in achieving this one last goal by distributing this money carefully and appropriately.

Yours truly
Mrs. Rose Veicht

Here’s todays friend request…

Hello! I am Valeria, 25 yo.
I search for Real boyfriend.
Are you ready for relations?
please check my profile here:

Here’s a classic example of a scam email sent to accommodation providers.

How do you tell? Well the text is obvious but before you get this one they’ll usually ask lots of questions, you’ll answer them and in the 2nd email they’ve completely ignored every piece of information you provided. Then … you’ll get this

"Thanks for the mail,

It is okay by me and i will like to know the total cost?more so i will like to inform you my mode of payment will be by cheque.The cheque is 100 % good and will surely clear fine for the full amount issued on it,i will issue you a cheque that will cover my rent cost plus my flight ticket fee.When you have the cheque you cash it and deduct your rent fee then transfer the rest to my ticket agent who is also in Europe to arrange a ticket for me to fly over.

I hope the arrangement is okay with you,kindly get back to me with the details of who will cash the cheque:

Full name…

Residential address…



Zip code…


Phone number:

Cell Phone:…

Home Phone:…



Sent from : IP address originating in Nigeria

we don’t accept ANY bookings unless via our live on-line booking management system. Cheques … no. :o)

Maybe your poor unfortunate could mail Catharine’s long lost friend. She did offer to help with anything Catharine needed ;o)