We have an Anglo-French dining group who meet once a month in rotation at each other’s houses. Tomorrow is our turn and I’ve spent the afternoon making fifty lamb and ras el hanout (and some other stuff) meatballs also making a two seater extension to our eight -ten seater table de jardin. Meanwhile my wife in true S African style has been fretting that despite her vacuuming and brushing and everything else every day this week our house might not be clean enough for our guests because we’ve been doing some renovations and the bottom garden hasn’t been entirely strimmed and weeded because there have been large rocks falling from a disintegrating mediaeval field wall above our terrain.
But everything was OK because we’d told the mairie and last Sunday at 7pm(!) his rep appeared and spent an hour surveying the situation, then this evening arrived with an artisan who was going to debrousse the little field above us and demolish the wall (don’t ask me to explain why the wall’s owner isn’t involved)
Anyhow, to cut a potentially long story short, aforementioned artisan does a recce, falls off the cliff, drops about 5m and lands on our terrace via our €400 glass topped table. Fortunately he was unhurt (probably harder to get compensation from a dead artisan 
but his oppo was covered in tiny wounds from the glass splinters. Our poodle fled indoors barking furiously and our cat who normally hangs out on the cliff if he’s not on the terrace, and hates all visitors or strangers, has disappeared.
Imagine by tomorrow the story will have gone all round the commune, but thanks to our friends le diner will occur in situ. But what a major schlepp!
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Having reflected on the above drama, I recall visiting a ruined castle in NI on a cliff near the Giants’ Causeway and being told that the local chief/lord/laird/owner of the castle had married an English woman, but that one evening when they were about to host a banquet, the castle’s kitchen collapsed into the sea (presumably with its staff). The poor (or not so poor) English lady was so traumatised by dinner being disrupted that she returned to England and never again set foot in the Emerald Isle
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As a small child, I witnessed my mother “freeze/panic” when she dropped the hot pan holding the joint we were destined to eat… and the meat fell out onto the kitchen floor…
Her mother-in-law calmly stepped forward, picked up the joint with a teacloth, brushed it off and popped it onto the waiting carving tray…
She gently said “No-one will ever know, if we don’t tell them” (or words to that effect)…
Mum rallied and casually sauntered into the dining room bearing the “rescued” joint…
Of course, MinLaw was my French Grandma… fabulous cook and a kind, generous person… she hugged me and swore me to secrecy… 
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Mind you, that’s potentially the start of another thread, but nevertheless, I’m with your mother’s MiL( is there a more succinct,or more correct term?) and wouldn’t admit to anything of that ilk…
Very wise too!
Hope your relocated gathering goes well and the artisan also buys you a new table
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Doesn’t matter how much effort you might put into food and cleanliness for an impending visit of guests as they will all find comparison, good or bad, as to how they would have done it.
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While I am interested to see what someone else has done… what someone else offers us guests… personally, I don’t think I compare… I’m just glad to be enjoying something which hasn’t involved me in any work/hassle… (other than deciding what to wear )
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If he doesn’t, the insurance claim will be "interesting "
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Or if the guests saw it, “take that turkey back into the kitchen and bring in the other one”
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The hospital I work at has window cleaners who abseil down every so often A few years ago one flew through the glass of one of the assessment rooms
OMG. Hope your heart and blood pressure up to scratch. You poor things. Remember those old ads ’ that was lucky!’
Thing is re whethr the house/garden looks as good as you would like what people come for is you.
Hello Stella why on earth would you invite anyone who might find fault?
dont suppose that should make me laugh but did.
If people don’t like it they can lump it as far as I’m concerned, especially when you put your heart into preparing a meal for guests ! Though I guess I’ve never been the most diplomatic person I’ve known and definitely not a Mrs Bucket/Bouquet…
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I’m South African and we always had large do’s when we lived there. I used to panic also about the place being spic ‘n span before and clean everything to within an inch of their lives. Now, as I’m much older I’ve learnt that a spit and a promise is good enough, your guests are there to see you, not the house, hopefully. I now do the frantic cleaning AFTER they’ve gone, otherwise you’ll be doing it twice. Hope it goes well!
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I think the glass topped table is better off now than before. Just a personal thing about glass furniture and accidents waiting to happen!
