I have recently discovered this fab forum and it looks like the best for my interests and needs in France by a long shot. Please bear with me as there is some background to explain.
I have a father-in-law who had been estranged from my wife for 7 years after their disagreement (his choice).
We recently had communication out of the blue and to cut a long story short it looks like he is into the middle stages of dementia.
One big challenge is taking enough time off work in the UK to visit him in Montpellier. He lives alone and for various reasons (many unknown) we have no idea about things like his energy providers, bank history and very importantly, his doctor.
He is British but has lived around France for around 30 years. Due to his memory issues and lack of paperwork (& digital passwords) we are trying to track things down
We can only communicate in person approximately monthly as he has no phone or Internet (in fact we just realised we could write - imagine that, eh?). It is a miracle his energy was still on when we visited a few weeks ago, as we don’t know how it is being paid- there is nothing on his bank ststements. We attempted to set up a replacement PAYG phone credit but it couldn’t be done due to a combo of language barrier and lack of Internet access. Extremely nerve-wracking and frustrating.
We also have to try and organise a plumber for the next time we go (his syndic suggested CRPC, if anyone knows them).
Anyway, the situation is pretty crazy and unexpected as well as disturbing for us and my FIL - when we land in Montpellier for a long weekend trip from Gatwick we hit the ground running!
Does anyone know how easy it might be to organise a swift appointment (RDV?) with his doctor (if indeed he can literally lead us there? If we are able to have French Social Services or similar look after him between our visits it would make things much better until we can repatriate him (his wish).
For medical appointments, how long are you likely to be here and when do you arrive? If you know the doctor’s name you might be able to organise an appointment or a video one on a website like Doctolib.
Other people here are good on social services and the help available.
Thanks for replying. We will arrive on a Thursday morning and, all things being equal, will go into town to track down the doctor - even if it is only for the nameand address. We will be leaving on the Tuesday evening.
A video appointment might well be a good idea, thanks. Our French has lain pretty dormant for decades and is quite basic so we may struggle - but maybe not.
Whereabouts in Montpellier does he live as there are several different welfare centres, and you need ro make contact as soon as possible with the assistante sociale (AS) that covers his zone. French social services are good in these types of situations and have several different levels of care. it is just a bit slow to set up as needs the AS to create and submit a dossier.
When you arrive you also need to look for his carte vitale (a greenish credit card thing) which if you take to a pharmacy should be able to tell you who his GP is.
But if he wants to return to UK might it be easier just to take him back with you and sort his house etc out later?
Thanks for that info - he lives in Mosson. I will try and find the AS from here in the UK.
We have visited twice before to get the ball rolling (cleaning, washing, shopping, feeding, assessing the situation) but we didn’t know about the CV giving the link to his doctor. That is excellent to know as there is a pharmacie 100m away and could save us the potential wild goose chase of wandering the central streets hoping his memory is correct!
We need to get the UK lasting power of attorney signed by the doctor so we can ‘unblock’ his UK pension which feeds his French bank (it seems forms weren’t returned for the last year or two).
Once that is all done we would be closer to bringing him back. He will need to buy or rent somewhere in the UK, hence the pension flow while we set up dealing with his French assets (house, garages, car, etc).
All this is made very challenging due to finding holiday time once a month or so (whilst working) - it is a monster out of the blue, I tell you!
And do take documents proving he is your FIL - copies of your birth certificates/marriage certificate. It may be overkill but if your French is rusty it helps persuade people of your right to know things. Our pharmacist would tell anyone my weight and latest blood pressure reading, but some can be more confidential.
And think of why you need to know his GP? Does he take regular medication, is it to get a referral to a specialist, is it for assessing his disability level?
The GP may not pop up directly but a pharmacist should be able to deduce who it is.
Understood - we will bring docs just in case. Yes, it is mainly for a referral to assist with his care/diagnosis and probably general health check-ups as he won’t have been for a while.
No, not at all. But pharmacists can have compassion and when situation is explained may well try their utmost to help. And it’s not if they want confidential medical info, just the name of a doctor.
The app Deepl is your friend. Type what you want to say in English and the French equivalent comes up alongside. It’s pretty accurate if you keep sentence construction simple. It can be useful to prepare in advance and print off a copy or use your mobile phone.
As you sort out his paperwork, be prepared to have to have copies of everything. If he doesn’t have a computer/printer, get to know his local mayor’s office - they can be a great help for copying things, providing you with information and generally being a support. (In fact get to know them anyway, they can help.)
Just wanted to wish you well in your difficult situation. Folk on here are very willing to help and there is plenty of expertise. Hope it goes well for you.
Thanks for all the supportive replies, everyone. Mostly very useful.
I do use Deepl already, thanks and it is pretty good. If you have gmail then foreign languages can be translated automatically from your inbox. The more tricky part is when your recipient doesn’t - that’s when i have written in English, translated to French then pasted to email out. Sometimes not entirely accurate and can be confusing.
To clarify, we will be accompanying my FIL to a local pharmacy where he knows the staff. They can then remind him of his current GP since he can’t remember the address, and we will take it from there.
Great tip about the Presse shops, I will keep an eye out.
My next challenge is to find out the tax/insurance/MOT status of his car. I’m guessing there must be info in this website somewhere.
That’s actually harder as unlike DVLA in UK you can’t check a car’s status. Hopefully there sill be papers somewhere in the house? Look on windscreen in case he still has a green vignette with insurance company, or carte gris in glove box or behind sun screen thingy.
