The Coming France-England War

This is fun…

It won’t all be bad. France is sometimes described as a paradise populated by people who think they’re living in hell, which is to say the opposite of Surrey. There will be advantages: cooked breakfast will be banned, replaced by room-temperature breakfast, and lunch will be compulsory… It will be impossible to get a job but also impossible to be sacked. Everyone will work less but, inexplicably, be more productive. Everyone will retire at 62, except train drivers who will retire at 52. All parents will have access to cheap childcare. We’ll have a national anthem with a discernible tune.
When we lose the war with France, England will be the winner.

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