The Difference between cats and dogs


(Vikki Schofield) #1

Appologies if this has been on here before, but I just think it is so true and perfectly sums up The Diference between Cats and Dogs…



Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite

thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite

thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My

favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!

My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite

thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My

favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My

favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite

thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My

favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with

the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!

My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary.

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me

with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat,

while the other inmates and I are

fed hash or some sort of dry

nuggets. Although I make my

contempt for the rations perfectly

clear, I nevertheless must eat

something in order to keep up my

strength.

The only thing that keeps me going

is my dream of escape. In an

attempt to disgust them, I once

again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and

dropped its headless body at their

feet. I had hoped this would strike

fear into their hearts, since it

clearly demonstrates what I am

capable of. However, they merely

made condescending comments

about what a ‘good little hunter’ I

am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly

of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for

the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises

and smell the food. I overheard

that my confinement was due to

the power of ‘allergies.’ I must

learn what this means and how to

use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an

attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his

feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow – but at the

top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other

prisoners here are flunkies and

snitches. The dog receives special

privileges. He is regularly released

  • and seems to be more than willing

    to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an

    informant. I observe him

    communicating with the guards

    regularly. I am certain that he

    reports my every move. My captors

    have arranged protective custody

    for him in an elevated cell, so he is

    safe. For now…

(Ruth Deborah Rey) #2

Hilarious.

Owner (or being owned?) of 5 cats and one dog.


(Lynn STONE) #3

I have seen this before but it never, never fails to amuse - such an acurate rendition, their looks tell all!!