The electrician on the Starship

**Billy Bodger **

on the star ship Enterprise

the lights have gone all dim

captain Kirk decided to

get an electrician in

the electrician’s name was Bodger

he was fully qualified

what Captain Kirk didn’t know was

that he was completely colour blind

one to beam up said the Captain

Scotty was surprised

when he noticed that Billy Bodger

did not energise

Scotty flicked some knobs

and booted the machine

the coordinates were out of phase

and was nowhere to be seen

“I dinny know what happened”

the Scotsman shouted out

it turned out that Billy Bodger

had completely shorted out

finally he energised

he was smouldering red hot

his trousers were on fire

and he was moaning quite a lot

Spock grabbed the extinguisher

and promptly set it to stun

and covered Billy Bodger

in a sticky gun-gee gum

he opened up the fuse box

It was full of coloured wires

the insulation had melted

and the box had caught on fire

then suddenly there was this popping sound

and a smell of burning wire

then realised that the fuse box

would need a complete rewire

he followed all the wires

along the starboard side

he couldn’t find the problem

he was totally mystified

the wires went along the wall

then underneath the floor

and followed all the wires

to lieutenant Uhura 's door

he rang the door bell softly

the lieutenant pushed the door ajar

she asked him “what’s a matter”

as he crawled along the floor

the wires all came to a stop

and there he saw the problem

there was a three pin UK plug

with a 15 way extension

Connected to the wires

there were lots of stuff plugged in

i pad, sowing machine

and an espresso coffee maker

electric hair brush,curling tongs

and a personal computer

electric whisker, eclectic kettle

and an ice cream maker

there was a sky box, a Hauwei 20 pro

and a little blue tooth speaker

a bed side light, a dimmer switch

and a little yogurt maker

a rechargeable chain-saw

and a walking exerciser

“What’s a girl to do? “she said

“I am a famous actress”

“When I working on the star ship

“I’ve got to look completely ageless”

now Bodger’s job was over

he was finally beamed back down

he landed in the river Dronne

where he nearly drowned

Copyright © The Bored Bard 2020

Taking liberties with Grimmer, Spilling and Pants uation

"All characters and events in this poem– even those based on real people –

are entirely fictional and made up!



Electrifying stuff, @Tony_Sinclair_Kirk :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

Can you rap it, seems made to be rapped/zapped out…?

Dear Peter

Thanks for that. No I can’t rap. But I will be wrapping at Christmas…


Neil Armstrong lunar pilot
certainly knew how to fly it
nearly running out of fuel
program alarm 1202