Wayne, like you my other half is French, met her here and our kids are too. I'm not breaking any laws, work here, everything done correctly BUT I do know what you're talking about :-)
Having said that i wouldn't go back to the UK for all the tea in China! Like some others here I've gone native, have a maîtrise from a french universit, now teach French to foreigners at Uni but there are still times when I rant about how stupid some things are here and how things could be so much easier/simpler.
In short it doesn't work for a lot of people, some people don't need or want to mix/integrate, others do and life works well. How many come out and go back a few years later... M6 had an interesting programme a few years back about people changing lifestyles, all french apart from a british couple from devon who bought and renovated a B+B (what else) in SW France, when talking to the pickfords removals team, one of them told the interviewer that they come back to "collect" and take home at least half of the clients they move out to France!
Thanks Steffi, meeting up would be excellent, i'll add you as a friend. I have been to St Foy so know it's only 20 minutes away.
Best thing we ever did (four years ago). We would never go back to the UK. France rocks. The quality of life compared to the UK is amazing and it doesn't get dark at 3pm in winter (well, not down here in the south anyway). I spoke no french when we arrived either, but everybody was so welcoming I learned really fast. My daughter (then 10) has no regrets either but she did need a lot of support to start with, as you would expect.
Do it!!! Just make sure you go with the intention of integrating properly into France and that way you will be welcomed with open arms.
Don't hesitate to ask any questions either if I can help (and there are loads of people on this list who will help too) - we made just about every mistake in the book, and still are regularly, but it is still worth it. Every day I thank the fact that I live here.
Hello Thea, as everyone says it is entirely normal what you are both feeling. I will also say that you will experience this from time-to-time in the coming years. I know that we moved here from the States it was only after the 1st year were we actually able to "breath", we knew what the cycle was and thought we could deal with anything and like anywhere you live in life - there is always the unexpected. However, if you are a strong couple and as someone suggested - make friends with a local - it will be the experience of a life-time. Good luck and please keep us aprised of what wonderful adventures you are up to - and trust me there will be a few. God Bless.
I have an attestation for cover and the Carte Vitale seems to be along way off arriving!!! Doesn't help with my circumstances changing last year but it does highlight the Red Tape that Thea will come across! Hopefully, before I have to change from RSI/RAM the Carte Vital will arrive! Thanks though Wayne
Good luck on the move, I know how you feel, as everyone has said. We've been here 7 years now, not anywhere near retirement age and I gave up a heafty London salary. The first year was live a holiday, people came to see us and I kept thinking we would be going back to the UK soon. The next year we'd made inroads on the work on the house, got the Gite up and running and my husband got his SIRET number and manages to get a little work. We've spent all our money and are now being very very strict on what we spend what we get from the Gite. I started B&B last year and that brought in some welcome dosh too. Thankfully my husband is fluent in French, I am still going to classes 7 years on, I am no where near it, which is the biggest problem I have. However, there are so many nice people where we live that are kind to us, and help us along with the lingo. There are of course many Brits, most of whom are retired, some struggling, some nicely off, so a good mix, and I would never contemplate going back to UK - what would be find there? Certainly not get jobs, having been out of the market for so long, and now older. Couldn't afford to live there, so might as well stay where we have a good happy life and don't actually need all the trappings we had in UK. So good luck, and as many have said, better to have tried it than regret it and then do it when you are older and it's harder.
Tim has it occurred to you that the ones that have left are never going to reply on this forum and therefore the views will be biased ? the only reason i am still here is that i still have a french house. i kept it in case i made a mistake moving back to uk and for my french wifes sake. however she has now agreed that life in uk is far far better so the house will be on the market shortly. that is my only regret as the house is stunning and in a stunning location something i couldnt afford in the uk but the house does not make the home. i would be interested to know how many of you are living in oblivion of the laws you are breaking , from my experience probably most of you. some knowingly some unknowningly
Well, a lot of interesting reading here --- It seems one should never have moved , and others are really happy !
Me - well it's more than 40 years now, so I must have settled in !
Speaking French is an absolute need - good your kid is enrolled in school - Yes , the administration like Red-Tape, but Red-Tape likes administrations !
I'm on tour at the moment - just arrived in the UK from southern Spain, and I can't wait to get home !!
tracy if your husband has a carte vitale then you are automatically entitled to cover under his number so im not sure why you are having problems there. it sounds like the usual red tape rubbish that you haver to put up with but it sounds like you have already experienced some of that
We are still here in southern Burgundy two and a half years later. we bought our house in 2005 and moved in
20009. We are also about to become an auto-entrepreneur to let out our Little House. Trepidations with that thought, but it has to be done.
For good and up to date advice re taxation and buying a property in France register for the newsletter from French-Property.com.
Yes, it is simpler to belong to the NHS, but you will get there in the end if living in France is what you really want to do.
Bonne chance!
Hi Thea
We arrived here 3 years ago today with a Daughter 8.3/4 years and a Son 6.1/4 years. I had problems getting the Carte Vital (as we set up a business and my Husband was the sole employee, I still haven't got mine!), I had problems getting sorted with the CAF for money for my two children, I had problems with the prefecture for registering the cars but eventually by trying and trying and trying I managed to get through the red tape and get everything sorted. My thoughts were always "It's better to have tried and failed than live with regret" As previous posts have said, "The boat sails both ways". I wish you all the best of luck. Due to personal circumstances, I did give the children the option to return to the UK in August 2010 and my Daughter said a rather defiant "No"and my Son said "Yes". Having persuaded my Son to give it another 6 months here in France, I asked the question again earlier this year in April and both children said that they DID NOT want to go back to live in the UK. Hopefully, as I think I have read that your little one is 6 years old, the answers of my children will give you some reassurance. Not all things are rose in France it true but most of the people I have met since arriving are kind, generous and above all patient especially if you try and speak French. Good luck with your move.
We all had anxieties, then we all had a wonderful period of discovery and after a period of time we have normalcy. Each has its own benefits, I will never move back to New York. Paris and France re wonderful and, from time to time, inscrutable.
Enjoy and welcome.
Hi Thea,
don't worry I think all of us had some degree of "are we doing the right thing" so it is entirely normal and you are renting and have enrolled your child in school so seem to have planned it right.... you are not burning your bridges, you are not moving and can never go back.... but it is a big change and that is always a bit scary. What you need to think is how will you feel if you don't give it a try - will you regret this for ever? Like everyone has said take things one step at time, ask all you like..... all the best to the family
I have to say I was exactly the same when we first came out - and the fear lasted for a while after we got here, but I can honestly say that I am happy we made the move and really wouldn't want to go back yet. It may be that we will one day but not yet.
Go for it and enjoy yopur new life
the one thing to look at is the work situation in france. if you dont need to work and have enough money to survive thats much easier. however if you need to work i would strongly advise you speak to a qualified accountant who can explain everything to you. a problem that always arises is with british qualifications. generally they are no good to you in france and many occupations that you do not need to be qualified for in uk you do in france. the penalties for breaking these rules is severe. for example i know of a lady who practised massage therapy in uk for sports people and general relaxation massage. she set up in business doing the same in france. despite being qualified in uk and recieving a siret number in france 2 years later she was deemed to be practising illegally as she did not have french qualifications. the penalty.. 18 months jail. that is not a joke. you will find many people here that reply to you are on pension. its a totally different ball game. also many uk pensioners believe that they can pay taxes in uk and thus avoid the charges in france. whilst this is true in some cases its not true in all and different pensions are treated differently. one of my friends has 2 pensions. one is allowable to have charges be paid in france or uk one only in france. he has just been hit with 13 years back taxes
Well Thea, I emigrated to France on 10th December 2006, having crossed the channel in a force 11 gale overnight with just myself and two ancient cats in my little car. Yes, when I landed at St Malo in the pitch dark I pulled the car up in a lay-by and bawled my eyes out. I had never felt so alone, and full of misgivings as to what i had done. Sold up everything in the UK, and left friends, a son and a sister behind. Of course your feelings are quite natural, and most of us who now live very happily in France felt the same, and with me it lasted for a full 9 months to a year. Five years on I am the happiest I have been in my life - no - I don't have spare cash and I am a pensioner and have to watch the euros. In spite of everything I have no regrets at all at having taken the plunge.
Don't forget - life is what you make it - be determined to mix with French people, speak the language, and enjoy your new life.
Hmmm- Now I guess you're even more confused and scared having read much of the above. Well there will be things you like and there will be things you don't like - Just like the UK (or anywhere else). It's not about where you choose to live - it's about HOW you choose to live. Ask a hundred of us why we live in France and you'll probably get a hundred different answers. Conversely you'll find people who have not got on well will give you equally valid answers. Suck it and see is the only way.
Although it is perfectly normal to be overcome with fear, I can help you within a few minutes with EFT. It can be done over the phone. If you would like this help I can call you or give you my number.
sorry forgot to add when i first moved over there were approximately 40 brit families in my village. they were all encouraging me how good life was in france and to stay at least 2 years then things would improve. every single one of them has now returned to uk and i was the last brit left in the village. i only stayed so long because i had met my french partner. incidentall my uk partner that i went to france with returned after 12 months to uk. not because of problems between us but the fact that she could not cope with life in france
Hi Thea
I think you are very normal, you are bound to feel a little anxious, I am sure most of us felt the same feeling you are going through right now.
At 16 I decided to see what the world had to offer, I lived on a tiny island so everything was very new, scary but exciting. I found myself a job in a hotel in Switzerland and the first night there in my tiny room up in the attic with a very tiny window I hardly slept with the fear of what I had done.
I awoke in the morning and looked out onto snow capped mountains in the distance, something I had never seen in real life before. My fear faded in an instant and was replaced by sheer excitement.
The secret is to enjoy every moment of your first few months, every problem will just be a new adventure, where as later it might become a chore.
Good Luck
Steve