i've so far been a lurker on this site, so feel a little rude to suddenly ask you all for your help before properly getting to know anybody, but we (myself, husband, 6 year old daughter) are moving to france next month and i am having the biggest attack of 'the fear' known to man. Every fibre of me is screaming 'don't do it, stay where you are, it's a ridiculous idea'... but we are almost there, we've found a place to rent, enrolled our child into school, i am currently doing my last day in my office (where i've worked for 9 years) and told the world and his wife. Where has the excitement gone?
Someone please reassure me that this is normal, i feel like i shouldn't go because if it was the right thing then i wouldn't feel so hysterical.
Thea, I wouldn't worry if I were you.... especially with the job you have. It may feel strange in the beginning yet exciting, new place, new faces, new this and that. As for quality of life, well it's all relative... especially since they have been standardizing everything. I moved from California to France many years ago, worked me butt off for years, did a lot, but also went through some tough times with the administration. Fortunately, I learned a lot by working with professionals, accountants, statutory auditors, labor law experts, followed the rules to a T, and improved my French. In August, after 20 years, I called it quits, packed up, and flew back to the States. Yep, I built up quite a reputation, and made wonderful friends, and top clients, but... but.... something happened on the way to the forum. I don't miss the rush, the noise and dirt, the stress, but I miss having access to places as London, Brussels, Berlin, Milan, etc.
Just a word: (1) want to start a business, consult a CPA, get informed before signing anything; (2) kids will feel the difference in the school system - approach, work, etc; (3) learn the language, meet people, enlarge your circle; move in and take it slow, the French are usually pretty good about "les anglaises" or "les anglais" except when it comes to rugby or soccer. (4) find out about things like retirement/pension, etc (a real pain for French accountants). Have fun.
Tea is terribly un-French; have a glass of wine instead! the alcohol may calm your nerves (or maybe not) but it should serve to relax you a little bit...
Thea was to become my neighbour.....MOVE to Pellegrue...
I have a feeling that this never happened?
Not suggesting that the deep countryside is not for the media crowd from
London and her relations but understanding that when the fear sets in you
have to look beyond it.
Thea mentioned wedding planning.
If she was simply amazing maybe....BUT we have our planners here on the ground
with their own chateaux all set up and well placed in the wedding industry. With my omniscient eyes I am still no match for the youngsters who arrive with
their dreams in their overnight case.
Ready to pack up and go back to the whirlwind life which is what they know.
The Fear is about the unknown.
The new and different life which presents a challenge.
To settle without excess. To live in moderation.
To cherish what is good around you...BUT first to be able to recognice this.
Hi Thea....I guess by now you are settling in...hope all is going well....I live not so far and if you want a cup of coffee or lunch sometime...you would be most welcome....keep smiling!
Thanks guys. I’ve just left a very well paid job and what I will miss in salary, I know I will make up for in quality of life. My husband and I are well and truly in the rat race and whilst I don’t relish the prosect of a hand to mouth existence, I do look forward to having time. I am in the events industry and organise awards ceremonies etc mostly for the British government and parliament. I olan to freelance in london and Brussels for my old company and do hope to get some work in France eventually but if that doesn’t pan out then it’s not the end of the world. Watch ths space, I’ll be eating my words before long I expect!
Second that! Keep it real and go for it! and for the record, I moved out for good at the same age as Emily, which makes me 45 now :-O and I'll never go back to the UK ;-)
Hi Thea, A friend of mine recently posted this on Facebook. It resonates with me - a mere man :)
She Just Let Go
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the "right" reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn't ask anyone for advice. She didn't read a book on how to let go. She didn't search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all the memories that held her back. She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all the calculations about how to do it just right. She let go. Without a thought or word, she let go.
She didn't promise to let go. She didn't journal about it. She didn't write the projected date date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.
She didn't analyze whether she should let go. She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn't do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn't call the prayer line, She didn't utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn't good and it wasn't bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forever more.
Oh So normal! me too exactly the same! for me it was new marriage, new home new country, new language......... yep it is mad! BUT it is the best thing I have ever done, life has been hard, fun and then even worse than hard, BUT it is the best thing I have evr done! I am SO happy, but the adventure isn't always a picnic! Have a look at the discussionon what people whish they had known before they came, it might just help you evite some of the pitfalls and it may make you laugh!!!You will be fine. Life is good, and you know you'll never sit in your rocking chair wondering ahat would have happened if.............
We are moving to a village near Duras (SW France) from Saffron Walden (market town between London and Cambridge. Renting initially til we are confident it really is for us (renting out our house here too) My husband will continue to work as normal - he works all over the world - so it doesn't really matter where he is based.
I must say i feel a little less anxious now, the excitement is returning. I've just had an email from the school my daughter will attend with her start date etc, so another thing is ticked off the list!
Thanks for writing to me, i really appreciate all the replies from people who have done this themselves. Most people that we know haven't so don't really understand!
Thea, when we spent Christmas with my French cousin they ate goose for Christmas lunch. Being an American I do a Thanksgiving Day dinner and have to order a whole turkey from the bouchier because one cannot find a whole turkey in a regular supermarket until after the first of December. Having said that, however, the turkeys we've ordered have been some of the best we've ever tasted. :-)
Love that! The prospect of spending my life in the same place was not appealing. Now then, onto matters of great import, do the French eat goose for Christmas lunch? We are arriving shortly before Xmas and I want to know the lie of the land!
Stick at it. It works in the end. Best to treat the French bureaucracy as a game- plenty of play there so keep plugging away at it and it dies down in the end.