The passage of time

Last week we celebrated my youngest's first birthday as well as my own (age undisclosed but lets just say it's the last year I'll be able to say I'm closer to 30 than 40) It seems funny to think that a year has gone by so quickly.

My little 1 year old is 1 going on 10, she's been walking for 2 months, has 6 teeth, eats the same things we do & feeds herself, ignores me when she feels like it, answers back when I ask her to put things away and pushes her big sister (2) around.

It's like she stopped being a baby months ago, very weird. She's also our little miss sunshine as she never stops smiling (except today). I have 2 independent little madames who like walking everywhere holding hands & both object to going in the double buggy. They fight over their toys and I'm beginning to think we need to get them 2 of everything exactly the same. They play well together which is lovely to see & generally are really well behaved.

Today they are ill together, well the 2 year old is ill, the 1 year old is just uncharacteristically grizzly. I'm sat here with No 3 poking me in the ribs & thinking how much fun it will be when there are 3 poorly children...

I have used 2 boxes of kleenex between them so far in 2 days, half a tub of anti-bacterial gel & handwash. I don't want to be ill, I guess mum's CAN'T be ill. I used to snuggle under my duvet on the sofa and be served upon by my hubby, now it's a case of taking 2 paracetamol & getting on with it. I feel old! I feel like my mum, so nevermind that the number of birthday cards has dwindled almost to 1 hand's worth, it's probably the responsability that makes me old rather than age.

My hubby came home from work the other day and said he used to feel like the youngest in the office but now he feels like the oldest.

I'm judging 'young' people by the clothes they wear, I don't like this season's jumpers that look like your nan knitted them - I remember them from the 80's wham videos - not cool. Is cool even an acceptable word these days? I don't know. I'm not sure if it's because I've been off work or living in rural France for 2 years that has made me old or is it being a mum?

I say things now that remind me of my mum e.g. "I need to sit down to have my cup of tea & wake up for a minute please" when asked at 6.30am to read a story for the 10th time in 5 minutes.

I'm applying lashings of eyecream, moisturiser etc to try to stop my skin showing my age but its probably pointless as I just look 30 something now, I look like a mum, after being kept awake all night by No 1 (being sick) No 2 (teething) or No 3 (kicking my ribs) I just look old.

I didn't feel old last week but now I do...stop the clock.

wait till the grand kids come along, just the word puts years on you