Trump Announces New Travel Ban

After meeting with his new Minister of Truthiness Laura Ingraham, President Donald Trump has announced that Americans will be banned from traveling anywhere outside the continental United States until further notice for their own safety.

“I’m told that Muslim hordes have taken control of London, Paris, Amsterdam, and Baden-Baden. Not safe. Traveling to Mexico, of course, is out of the question. Drugs and rapists and whatnot. And we’re at war with China, so Asia is out, too.”

US Senator Brian Schatz (D-HI) asked if Hawaii was included in the ban.

“Of course,” said Trump. “Forget Hawaii. Anyone who wants a vacation in the sun can go to Mar-a-Lago. It’s a terrific resort. Really terrific. I mean, I’m OK with Polynesians. I like Polynesians. Some Polynesians are great people. And those grass skirts, it makes it real easy to grab…”

At that point, the Secret Service whisked Trump from the podium.

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:slight_smile: Very good :slight_smile:

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A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.”

Donald replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”Donald said, “Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.”

The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”

Donald said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”

Donald said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

A month Later, the farmer met up with Donald and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”

Donald said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2495.”

The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Donald said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.”

Donald has just moved into the White House


What a much better world it would be if that was true.

Most of them wouldn’t notice the difference.

It seems to me that folks who live in a country in which Marine Le Pen is the most popular single politician (for the moment) and whose home country’s foreign policy was crafted by Nigel Farage and is being implemented by Theresa May and Boris Johnson should be careful what other nationalities they criticize.

Why? Two wrongs don’t make a right. In my experience most American citizens are blinkered when it comes to activities and places outside their national borders and I think that the UK’s politics are in a mess. I’m quite happy to criticise both sets of people.

I prefer to criticize the politicians and not ‘sets of people’. Flip, offhand remarks about Americans seem to be accepted as the norm. I think that’s as unfair as blaming the average Brit for the mess that their politicians have perpetrated recently.

You don’t have to look too far to find people keen to blame the ‘average Brit’ for the current problems.