So one month on, and less than a month to go to Jour-J. My overwhelming feeling, apart from pure panic, is of wandering in a cloud of memories as we sift and sort and make trips to dechetterie and recylerie and post office/lockers. We have to downsize but are trying as much as possible not to throw anything away that might have a use for someone else.
And of course when things are passed on they lose the backstory that made them so special to me.
I know my memories are still there, but mine have always been triggered by tangible objects. The garden is the hardest as we have created it over 20 years from near-nothing. Plants that have grown from cuttings given by friends and family, the seed grown walnut tree planted by the previous ownerâs son who tragically died at 18 (and the reason they sold their house), the albertine rose from a layer on my FILs compost heap, the ophiopogon that I âacquiredâ at 16 when a gardener in the Royal Parks. The gifted plants, like the sarcococca from my mother that matches the ones in my sisterâs gardens.
The list goes on as there is little in the garden that isnât special for one reason or another, and even plants we bought tend to be linked to a holiday or special trip. And I also have memories attached to spots where plants never took - the clematis we bought at a rare plants fair, the lizard orchids posted to us with care from the Lot.
We have been busy dividing plants for the last few months and a friend will be travelling behind us in his campervan stuffed with pots, so not all is lost. And I am so relieved we decided not to bury our Isi here.
I understand about leaving a garden and the memories that the plants bring. The last few times weâve moved I havenât wanted to drive past the house again, not because of what they might have done to the house but because I didnât want to see what they might have done to the garden.
I hope your haul of cuttings will help you to create a new version of what youâve had.
We too created a lovely garden over 32 years from a derelict bramble patch to manicured lawns, gardens, a paved patio/BBQ area with vine covered pergola so know what its like to have to leave it especially as family members no longer with us planted stuff that is now mature and could not be removed or would have survived in the intense heat down here in summer. My son did take some of the small bits that could survive like the pineapple plants and an acer in a pot but sadly that died. If you can take lots of cutting I would recommend it to give you memories of your old life to ease you into a new garden. I left behind three beloved cats buried deep in the corner of the big lawn but decided that when I knew I wanted to move, the other three and the dog were cremated. I sometimes have a look on google street and actually nothing has drastically changed where I can see the garden and buildings I left behind.
My family moved so many times, I discovered early-on to say goodbye and simply go (had no choice) and that âgoing-backâ to anywhere could bring sadness, even tears as precious memories were shattered.
Wishing you well with your move, Jane and hoping all the cuttings/ plants etc thrive.
We sold the house I grew up in, my parents house in Daytona Beach, FL, to a nice lady who reminded me of my mother. When I finally left the US in 2023,I drove by for one last look at my boyhood home, and it was an empty lot. The last hurricane had caved the roof in and the lady bulldozed it. Iâm sure someone will build there again as it is so close to the ocean, but now, I canât unsee that empty lot.
