My wife and I hope to move to France in the Spring having sold up in England. Out of interest we were wondering how often ex-pats tend to visit family back in the UK and vice-versa. Of course, this will be different for everyone, but we are just interested to know what other people who Survived France have ended up doing.
Our four grown up ‘children’, a grandchild and one elderly parent are fairly well spread acress England and we rarely see them all together.
My Partner has only been back once since the Brexit referendum in 2016. The children and grandchildren come here to see us.
I on the other hand visit once or twice a year to see my less mobile family.
Apart from delivering dogs there for other people, once 2 years ago for a school reunion and before that it must have been 10 years.
The big thing I would say is don’t expect anyone to come visit you ever, then if/ when they do it will be a nice surprise. These ‘a place in the sun’ type shows are full of people who say “we need 5 bedrooms because family will be over all the time” and such and while I’m sure others will chime in with their own experiences where they are, I live in a (small) village with almost a third Brits, in an area which has a lot (Le Dorat was in the top 3 of a chart i saw as a percentage of the overall population) and it doesn’t seem to be the case at all here that friends and family are popping over regularly, annually if not once every two or three years for most. As I say, perhaps we’re a miserable lot here, but it just doesn’t seem like something that happens despite what many think when they’re looking at houses or in the process of first moving.
Normally two to three times a year, although there’s been a couple of funerals I’ve attended and then stayed a couple of extra days to see family.
It’s mostly to see my mother as she doesn’t want to fly on her own. My son comes out to see us more than me seeing him in London these days.
We don’t go back at all, but I think the main determining factor, judging by the people we know, is whether children/grandchildren are still in the UK. We don’t have children there but most people who do seem to go back 2 or 3 times a year. It can get very pricey and can also be disruptive to lives here once you’ve integrated into the local community.
Well, I have been back only 3 times in around 23 years ! Twice for funerals and once to relax and visit old haunts, mostly around Yorkshire, where I did see some family members and friends. I have no inclination to go to the UK again. I’m too old and too comfortable here to go back.
That depends on your own circumstances, my other half goes back on a fairly regular basis to fill in the gaps when the grandchildren need looking after, as for me xmas and the odd trip back to see the grand children, and they often come here and that helps. I always say its the same distance for us as for them to come here. No définitive answer. Just go with what you feel is right.
Three times since 2017, two of those for the funerals of my parents and this year to catch a plane from Heathrow as only place you can go from apart from Keflavik and Dublin which are not handy from here. Won’t be going again now unless there is a sibling funeral. Brexit has made it horrible now for people who want to visit and for us to go there whereas previously we just got in the car and could cross the channel with no problems but that was only about every ten years or more. My son in law calls it that awful little island. My only grandchildren are french catalan and live ten mins from me here.
True. I’ve seen my sister regularly but she’s only come over to France once in 5½ years.
Not having children eliminates the need for that type of UK visit! In 4 years, I will have only been back for exceptional family reunions eg a wedding, a memorial service, a once every 10 years group photo, a 90th birthday etc. On the other hand, living near a port (Dieppe) and being less than 2 hours from the Channel Tunnel, we are regularly visited by friends, family and former colleagues for lunch, to ‘break the long journey home’ which is nice.
I’m back about 4 times a year seeing my old mum and other family members. They never come to visit us but that’s fine because we loathe having visitors and fairly jump up and down with joy when they leave. If anyone does insist on coming, we tell them to stay in a hotel because it’s more comfortable for all concerned.
I absolutely love going back to the UK for visits. Am heading back to France tomorrow but would be perfectly happy staying here.
You can still do that with ease, there’s nothing horrible about it.
We tried to go back yearly but then had quite a gap, 4 years I think, between nightmare toddler, car issues, covid ect. I did go back in my own once or twice in that time for a wedding and dad’s funeral. Mil has now admitted she can’t manage the travel anymore and wants us to come and she’ll help pay for it at Christmas. I’m a bit torn as was keen to o go in Feb for my 50th and my nieces 30th and now my sister is getting married in June! 3 times in 6 months is too much unless flying, but hubby always wants to drive. I was exhausted when I went back to school in January! I think 12-18 months is good! We also expected a lot more visitors tbh. My brother came once, the first year we were here, 9 years ago. My younger sister in UK never been, my sister who died never came, only my next sister up has been quite regularly, twice with the whole tribe of kids and steps when they were still teens and she has been twice in the spring the last couple of years. Pisses me off a bit as part of our decision to stay and not go back to oz was to see them all more, we have the least money but seem to be the only ones making an effort!
I’d like to thank everyone who responded to my question so far. Very interesting to hear people’s experiences. I suppose another consideration is the cost in terms of travelling time and expense. Also, three of our ‘children’ don’t have a spare room to accommodate us!
When we asked them about our plans they all said we should go for it and how they can’t wait to visit us but several people suggested that may not turn out as expected.
Perhaps think about other options for keeping in close touch. So not you come here or we go there, but new experiences like meeting in the middle.
It’s been our experience too. We bought a house with a guest apartment for visitors but it’s used once or twice a year. We live in a beautiful area of southwest France and everyone said they were very keen to come and stay, but in reality they don’t manage it.
Must confess the only thing travel-wise which differs for us since Brexit, is our age and health.
It’s still easy enough to visit UK.. if we wish to. 
In days of yore, we’d have crossed France from top to bottom (and vice versa), driving without a qualm… nowadays we take our time.. stop overnight halfway and arrive at Calais perky and ready to swim the channel (ok slight exag.. we use the tunnel) 
this year, making what might turn out to be our last curtain call… we stayed at hotels across UK, inviting small groups of family/friends to be our guests for a lovely meal and chinwag… worked like a dream and no-one was stressed.
They’re all invited to contact us if/when they’re passing through France. We’ll meet up at a restaurant (somewhere) eat, drink, chat… and “good bye” we’ll wave them on their merry way.
Many of them have already stayed with us over the years… but now, I don’t want the hassle. the covid shutdown got us used to making alternative arrangements and now we prefer to do that.
Just realised I didn’t answer your query.
At first, friends and family visited regularly and we quickly decided that 3 days was long enough for us all to benefit from the delight of seeing one another !! 
Now they’ve all been here.. they look for pastures new… and that’s fair enough.
We have visited UK for family funerals in the past… and have said our goodbyes in person this year.
Never a truer word spoken, it seems to have changed a lot of people. Our plan to relocate to Dorset has changed as the friends who live that way since covid we seldom see them even when it’s a small get to get her of a birthday etc. Since COVID is still around I should change that to the lockdown.