Is it really the cost… that is putting folk off getting married… ??
Whilst these restrictions must make things harder, I think many young people get their priorities wrong.
There is a huge industry and people get sucked in and feel the need to compete, or at least match, the weddings of their friends.
A sort of keeping with the Jones’s.
A real shame as it should be the spirit of the day that matters and not the show.
As I told you our daughter had her marriage at The Swan in Lavenham with a Registrar.
When we were all at our tables, I gave a blessing just to make us think a bit more.
You could well be right, Jane… just gazing in the window of a Wedding shop… makes me wonder where the money comes from… and why such sums need to be paid.
A simple, sincere wedding day - within budget - is surely better than a fraught/expensive one which possibly leaves parents and/or the happy couple worried about debt…
When the bride to be describes it as supposed to be the best day of her life I always wonder.
The groom seems to get little say, perhaps it’s not his best day!
This always make me laugh…
I was later told… that when my beloved arrived at the church… he looked so frightened… my gt-uncle (who was to marry us) took him aside and gave him a quick slug from a hip-flask…
Various nieces and friends’ children have been getting married over the past two years so I’ve been to a lot of weddings … wow! Wedding dresses that cost the same as a good secondhand car, receptions in stately homes, goody bags for the guests, help yourself sweetie counters - I don’t recognise wedding receptions any more. Mr. H. and I - due to various family conflicts - decided to get married in Mauritius (mostly so none of the family could follow!) and get a few witnesses off the beach in a fairly lowkey affair. The registrar said “remember, the wedding is just a day but the marriage is for a lifetime”. I’ve often thought about that when I see the expense of a modern wedding and then heard the newly wed couple’s woes about affordability of house prices and trouble in raising deposits …
25 years ago our then neighbours spent a fortune on their daughter’s wedding. Two weeks later it was all over!
Sadly, that happens all too often… great fuss and fanfare is no guarantee… Having said that… I have been guest at some amazing weddings… which must have cost a bomb… and which have lasted… so, it is possible…
Mum loves watching 4 weedings and a honeymoon ( TF1 around 5h30 ish). Briefly 4 brides compete to who gets the most points for dress, food etc; the one with the most points wins a honeymoon (yawn, yawn).
I have watched a little to see why mums likes it so much (I think it’s for the dresses) and the amount of money some of the couples pay out is incredible. 30,000 euros +, whats more some of the couples have children so where is their priority?
I cannot see the young people leaving university with huge debt, unable to put down a deposit on a house and having to contribute to a pension which they will now not take until they are in their seventies, having a flash wedding as a must have.
People who are getting married now are more often than not in their thirties and have either lived together for some time and want to start a family or they each have a house.
We thought we would be going back to UK for the wedding of Jim’s godson, the son of his childhood friend with whom we remain in touch.
Now we find out that it is to be family only and have been given the impression that it is ‘her’ mother who has taken over.
Of course, they have a large family and the son’s side has few relations.
Our own wedding Reception was “family only” … as we both had so many relatives… and we had to whittle it down to those we actually had regular contact with.
But close friends came to the church and we had a wonderful evening celebration with them and all our friends…at our “local”…
Difficult to say which we enjoyed more… both festivities were great fun…
Perhaps the evening won out, as we were a young crowd, having a laugh… and our friends bought us drinks, instead of the other way around…
My dil bought her wedding dress from a charity shop. It was a typical '90’s dress with horrible big satin roses sewn on. Her talented neighbour removed the flowers, changed the padded ,puffed sleeves into elegant straps and put it into a duvet cover and machine washed it. With the addition of a lace bolero it was both elegant and understated and cost about £50. Two months later Kate married Will and her wedding dress with lace sleeves looked strikingly similar to my dil’s.
My friend’s daughter left university, got an engineering job paying double what her parents earned, met a chap earning the same salary … and asked her parents to make a major contribution to the (enormous) wedding expenses (which they did). AND asked them to ‘loan’ her the money for a house deposit (they did, with no anticipation of it ever being repaid). She’s still paying off her university debt as well. Oh, and they’ve now got children as well and enjoy a lifestyle which is mostly on ‘tick’ with cars on purchase plans and credit cards maxed out. Sadly this isn’t the only example I’ve heard from friends who are still funding their thirty-something children who plead poverty whilst purchasing the latest must-have appliance and booking tropical ‘experiences’.
It’s a different generational mindset, parents are the piggybank.
I’ve done both, full white wedding and simple registry office affair. The first cost me personally very little as the bride’s parents paid for nearly everything and the second was just us and the four kids (no one else knew).
We have already told the kids we will not be paying for any weddings .
I knitted my wedding dress and bonnet.
Wow… you are clever… sounds great… any photos???
Apart from first sentence, my last post was way too glooooooomy but a couple of hours in the drizzle turning the sod, then a cup of Bovril cheered me up
And I kept thinking about Jane’s knitted bonnet, and wondering iif she also knitted her entire trousseau or crocheted it
I used to knit trouser suits, skirt suits, sweaters, dresses, jackets and I once crocheted a very daring all in one with flated trousers.
We had a truly wonderful wedding in the Languedoc in 2004 with about 100 guests from the UK, France, USA, Bermuda, Australia and elsewhere. We were the first foreigners to have married in the village for a century and the first to hold our reception in the village square (apparently). We were married by Gerard Schivardy, our mayor and sometime French Presidential candidate, followed by a service in the church. A superb six course meal was provided by a local traiteur and wine was bought from the local cave. I remember requesting the lady from the traiteur to keep the wine flowing and when she countered that there was a bottle of red and a bottle of white on each table of twelve I had to point out that the majority of our guests were English.
It was hailed a s a truly memorable and enjoyable day by all and sundry. I was baking hot in morning dress as it was about 40 degrees but I refused to take it off on my special day. The guests did pay for their own accommodation but we managed to do the whole thing including masses of flowers for the church, dresses for bride and bridesmaids, strolling musicians and band, all food and drink etc for about 5,000 euros.