My type of cancer was, at the time only found by biopsy and, although I asked my GP’s for a surgical i tervention, it was denied and I was only taken seriously when I was in a private hospital for something else.
I now have a mammogram and an ultrasound at tge same time every two years.
I get a prescription from my medicin traitant and do not take part in the screening programme, as that would entail separate visits.
Hope all’s been well since and no further problems. Our of curiosity how did they know where to biopsy? Had you found a lump? If so it seems outrageous that it wasn’t taken seriously.
I had changes in my nipple on my left breast. Thewofound the tumour in the duct and, fortunately, it was not an aggressive type so I was still only at Stage 1 ten months later.
Because it was in the duct I had to have a mastectomy and the abscess with which I was diagnosed by two GP’s was being caused by the tumour.
Unfortunately, that raised the glands in my armpit and it was before they did nodule sampling and they took 13 glands and I have been left with a weak left are.
But, I am still alive and healthy nearly 16 years later.
I was more angry with the way I had been so easily dismissed than I had cancer.
Sounds as if you weren’t treated with concern at all! Changes in a nipple are always listed as something that should send you hotfooting to a doctor - which is not much use if the doctor fails to take notice!
My Pilates teacher does specific sessions for people post breast cancer (Pilates rose) and has said to us that it can make a great difference in getting the strength back in the weak limb/s. Perhaps there are sessions near you.
It is such a long time ago that I have not much hope, but I will investigate.
I can’t do any exercise which involves stretching as I had very severe endometriosis which has left me with a lot of scarring and adhesions.
My wife is 76 and for the last 3 years has had lump in her right breast about the size of a large egg, the nipple is retracted well in also.
But, she will not go to the doc or hospital, it is slightly painful sometimes and is not attached.
I am 78 and have DVT so what can I do?
She becomes very angry if I try and persuade her, and says she will die of old age first.
Please get her to go, that sounds very suspicious.
SHE WILL NOT GO, ADAMANT
Hello Barry
Very difficult but maybe try a bit of ‘gentle blackmail’, ie how worried you are and that you can’t stop thinking about her and how it’s giving you sleepless nights with all the worry.
That she should be thinking about you as well and your life together.
Easy to say I know, but I have had to resort to this with my 86 year old mum on some occasions.
Good luck …
Yes… I read somewhere… something about… " please, just do it for me, because you love me !" when asking a loved one to do what they really don’t want to do…
I’m not getting the words right… but I am sure you can get my drift…
The trouble is you don’t die of old age and not following up a possible symptom of cancer could well result in reaching the point where your body shuts down many years before necessary. I don’t understand your shouted reply; if you weren’t concerned and didn’t want helpful advice you wouldn’t have posted the details in the first place. I can’t offer any practical help other to say that my closest friend was diagnosed with breast cancer 10 years ago and after surgery, chemotherapy and radio therapy she was given the all clear and often comments about how thankful she is that the cancer was discovered early enough to treat to allow her to enjoy the quality of life that she experiences today. Keep asking for advice and keep pointing out to your wife how important her health and wellbeing is to you.
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Barry - as David says, there is no need to shout. I did see your comment about the fact that your wife does not wish to go to see the doctor and gets distraught when you bring it up.
This must be a terrible situation for the two of you. You are clearly worried about your wife and I am going to hazard a guess that your wife is terrified. Not only of what this might be but of being told for certain and having to go through treatment.
I don’t know whether your wife has any other medical problems but a fit 76 year old should not be counting her days just yet (average life expectancy for a 76 year old being to live another 13 years), and if this is a breast cancer, and if it is left untreated it is very likely to shorten her life.
You will know whether your wife will respond to “gentle emotional blackmail” but might I suggest you consider something more along the lines of “I know that you are scared, I am scared too but we don’t know what it is and we need to find out - I will be with you all the way whatever happens”.
Your description is enough to make me worried that this is a breast cancer and the longer it is left the more chance that curative treatment will not be possible but whatever happens some treatment will be available.
As I said I have no doubt that your wife is terrified but ignoring this will not make it go away, I am also reasonably sure that whatever she is ultimately told and whatever treatment she ultimately needs it will not be as bad as what is going through her head at the moment.
I hope that you can persuade her to be seen by a doctor.
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You are so right Paul. This poor lady must be living her life in constant terror and for 3 years now. It has to be best to find out exactly what she is dealing with and then deal with it. Anything must be better than the uncertainty and fear.
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you don’t know that, you are projecting. You have no idea how she feels about it.
I accept the observation that, short of telepathy I cannot truly know how Barry’s wife is feeling1 - that is why I said “I would hazard a guess”, it is just that - a guess, although it is a guess born of experience.
BUT I would offer as strong circumstantial evidence the fact that Barry said she “becomes angry” when he attempts to discuss it - anger in cases like this is often rooted in fear.
1] Yes, one can ask but even I say to you “I am afraid” can you actually know what I am feeling?
We keep hoping that it is a benign lump, maybe a fibroadenoma as it doesnt grow and almost no pain.
I had some bad things in hospital this year, that has turned her off, and she wont hear of kimo either.
She did consider it once, but only in hospital in the morning, surgery and home again in the afternoon. Since then i had DVT due to mistreatment so it is out of the question now.
Barry, it is so easy to find out if it is benign or not, it is frightening but is it worth the risk of not doing so?
Surely better to find out for certain, the nipple being drawn in is a bit worrying.
You don’t have to go into details but DVTs do happen after hospital stays - the NHS gives people “blood thinners” to try to prevent this if you have to have an operation or go in because of illness. No idea about French hospitals.
PS: As David says, why did you post, if your and your wife’s mind is so made up.
I did think maybe someone else had a stubborn wife and a solution, peut-être.
It is stopping me from sleeping aswell as her indoors.
It is clearly worrying you, and your wife. The best plan, I suspect, is to reassure here that you will be there in support and to get a proper diagnosis.