I am the same as you, I don’t like the humour on BBC Radio 4, it used to be funny but then I used to be young.
3 Likes
I like silly zany humour…I’ve come to read your meter…
On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
And God saw it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God, again saw it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”
And God agreed it was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”
But the human said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information - I’m doing it as a public service.
If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch…
8 Likes
Keeping with the theme….
CHURCH. NOTICES
The Fasting & Prayer conference: includes meals.
Scouts are saving aluminum tins, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The sermon this morning:‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’
The sermon tonight:‘Searching for Jesus.’
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered…
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM … The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:
‘I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.’
3 Likes
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. 
Ha! Ha! Ha! Indeed.
Just shows how these things go round and round in the internet. Just sent to me from Singapore, a little behind in the tropics
1 Like
Oh, I’m so sorry, Susannah. 
1 Like
Surprisingly funny
Especially at the end
It took the author of her first book, a ‘Bigfoot’ book for kids, two years to write, including the illustrations, during periods of isolation while the epidemic was at its height. When she had finalised her manuscript, towards the tail end of the epidemic, she sent it to several publishers, and to her great surprise, all of them wanted to publish. What she had achieved was no small feat.
1 Like
I’m trying to reduce my consumption of meat but have to pay tribute to a mate’s amusing photo and its caption.
Scottish steak pie - see how it detests and scowls at the broccoli. NO GREENS allowed to share its plate! Carrots only just tolerated.
9 Likes
I got up this morning, got dressed and fed the dogs. After that, I took them for a walk and while I was out I met my neighbour.
He was somewhat embarrassed to admit that he had heard all the grunting coming from our bedroom earlier but said it was great that a couple of our age were still having early morning sex.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that was just me putting my socks on…
7 Likes
I had to get up early this morning to bight the postman, as the dog is ill. 
5 Likes
