Someone’s going to be in trouble… 
From the comments under a Guardian crossword today.
Chuckle for the Day
Johnny, 7, and Billy, 4, are in their bedroom. “You know what?” says Johnny, “I think it’s about time we started swearing”. Billy nods his head in approval. “When we go downstairs for breakfast, I’m going to swear first, then you swear after me, OK?” “OK,” says Billy.
They walk into the kitchen and their mother asks Johnny what he wants for breakfast." Oh shit, Mum, I guess I’ll have some Coco Pops." WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out. She looks at Billy and asks with a stern voice, “And what do you want for breakfast, young man?” “I don’t know” he blubbers, “but it won’t be f**king Coco Pops.”
Must be from a time long ago before corporeal punishment was made an offense 
I think the lady who posted it could be an Aussie, if that makes any difference. 
Poor Aussies are in shock today after the horrible shooting at Bondi Beach
It’s meant to be the humour thread, Susannah…
Now punishment is more virtual than corporeal.
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time,
“Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
He declines. “Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right now. It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
At lunchtime, she asked him if he would like something.
“How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?”
He declines. “The Viagra,” he says, “Its really spoiled my need for food.”
Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat.
“Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?”
He declines again. “No,” he says, “it’s got to be the Viagra. I’m still not hungry.”
“Well,” she says, “Would you mind getting off me? I’m starving.”