It’s bard to heat a good spoonerism.
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I actually find that quite sad.
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Yes but in a humourous way, .my wife would have been busy many years ago 
So do I, but I’m laughing.
This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen for sale - I was searching for scientific papers on Tumour Necrosis Factor (TNF) and this advert popped up on a site.
We need a facepalm emoji.
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Searching for papers Toni ? Does this mean you’re still working ?? I thought you had retired ! 
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Consulting 1 and a bit days per week for now. When state pension kicks in 2028 I might stop, or continue if it stops me going veggie.
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For a moment there I thought that was a tombstone.
Two aliens landed in the desert near a petrol station that was closed for the night.
They approached one of the pumps assuming it was an earthling and the younger alien addressed it saying, ‘Greetings, we come in peace. Take us to your leader.’
The pump, of course, didn’t respond.
The younger alien was stumped. The older alien said, ‘I’d calm down if I were you.’ But the younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Shocked and insulted by what he perceived to be the pump’s haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, ‘Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!’
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, ‘You probably don’t want to do that! I really don’t think you should make him mad.’
‘Rubbish,’ replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his remaining three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
‘What a ferocious creature!’ exclaimed the young, fried alien. ‘He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?’
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied,
‘If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my intergalactic travels, you don’t want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.’
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