Throughout the pandemic, the late, great Barry Cryer told Oldie readers his favourite jokes
A woman walks past a petshop and sees a magnificent parrot in the window.
She rushes inside and says, ‘How much for the parrot?’
‘£5,’ says the shopkeeper.
‘Only £5? I’ve got to have it,’ says the woman. ‘Why’s it so cheap?’
‘Well, I must confess, it was brought up in a brothel,’ said the shopkeeper. ‘And, to put it politely, it has quite an extensive vocabulary.’
‘Never mind,’ says the woman. ‘At that price, I’ll take it.’
So she takes the parrot home, puts its cage in the living room and takes the cover off.
‘New place - very nice,’ says the parrot.
Then the woman’s two daughters walk in.
‘New place, new girls - very nice,’ says the parrot.
Then the woman’s husband walks in, and the parrot says, ‘Oh hello, Keith!’
There should be a “groan” symbol to click on in this thread.
if there were, we’d have worn it out by now!
Looks to me as if he’s put too much starch in the wash. 
He obviously needed something to stiffen his resolve. 
… in order to get a job as a model for the French branch of Simple Human?
See @Gareth in case that appears too oblique…
I have no clue what Gareth’s post is about, possibly referring to a TV character?
It was this one
Classic case of the graphic designer and the packaging designer not liaising sufficiently
What can I say - ready for the 14th.
https://www.ocado.com/products/m-s-love-sausage-wrapped-in-smoked-bacon-544943011?
Is it meant to be cut in half or what?
Either option seems unpalatable…
It’s 2 separate sausages.
Thanks, but please excuse my ignorance, as here in la France profonde, my local third generation artisanal boucherie doesn’t make saucisse pour monsieur et madame, one just gets saucisse, whether you’re male, female, LGB &T, or ‘they’ or other forms of non-binariness .
But most importantly, their sausages are very good
Not so great in Welsh either.
They do make good knickers though, dim or not 
