Just as well. May be bad for your ‘elf
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Santa’s “little” helpers.
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Missed the Santa references. 
Couldn’t figure out what the design was on the duvet. Still can’t!
Candy canes!!
You were thinking walking sticks, maybe? 
American? Sorry they don’t register for me.
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Originally from 17th century Germany. Appropriated by America.
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From Shipnostalgia:
I think Billy Connolly told the joke about prince Phillip touring a sewage plant and spoke to an employee who was watching the faeces floating past in a stream. To make conversation Prince Phillip, after asking how long he had been in the job, said “ you must know a lot about turds”. “ yes “ said the man. “This one going past is a woman’s, as is the next one then there’s a man’s and the fifth one up is my wife’s. Prince Phillip is astonished and asks how he knows it’s his wife’s.
“ because it’s got my lunch tied to it” says the worker.
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From The Oldie:
A man is at his wife’s funeral in the local crematorium.
He asks the vicar, ‘What’s the wi-fi password here?’
The vicar says, ‘It’s your wife’s funeral!’
And the man says, ‘Is that all lower case?’
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71.5mph 
maybe off a cliff 
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