ha ha ha....bring your Credit card then! ;-)
I'll be round next tuesday for a month or so, kids can be shouted at ---animals kicked --- and I don't like a bottle of wine thats cheaper than 15Euro.
Cheers Shauna, " Food is very expensive here so what we will do is all pitch in a grocery fee" is a great way to word it.. I'll try that!.
My husband gets a small pension and we struggle on what I manage to earn so ANY help when people come is welcomed. It's always hard.
You were obviously a great mom! xx
I was the "band" mom for a few years in the states because my son is a drummer. It was at a time when the kids could not drive. The parents would drop their boys off at lunch time and pick them up at around 10 pm..I fed them lunch, fed them dinner, fed them snacks, not to mention I was their babysitter...There were 5 growing boys all together so that is a lot of mouths to feed 3 to 4 times a week. And these kids were not shy.."we are hungry we want Mcdonalds" or Pizza or whatever...Shocking...No matter what I said, bring money or pick your kids up at a certain time, I was always left with the burden and resentment of taking care of these kids. I loved that they came to my house and I loved baking for them but I was being taken advantage of.
So now we have recently secured an apartment in Bordeaux and people are making their plans to "visit". Bottom line, they are not there to visit me...they are there to sight see. Maybe I am a rude American but I am going to be sending emails prior to trips with potential costs they may incur while they are here.... Cab fees, tram fees, bus fees, train fees, restaurant fees..., hotel fees if we do an overnight somewhere, car rental fees. AND! I am making it clear, in a friendly way, that I hate to cook and will provide breakfast and some dinners but they are on their own for lunch.....
I think there is a nice way to say..Hey you are welcome to lay your head down to rest at our place anytime. Food is very expensive here so what we will do is all pitch in a grocery fee... Or I can take you to the grocery so you can pick up some food items you like to eat... I think that it is better to approach it head on as best as you can so you don't harbor resentment later. It might catch your guests a little of guard, and they make think you are rude but hey there is always a hotel down the street if it doesn't work out for them! And they can add another 1400 plus dollars to that food bill..
well I expect the problem is different for everyone. My visitors are most DEFINATELY welcomed but I'd like to be in the position where I could welcome ALL of my guests without worrying about if I'm going to be able to afford it. It IS a dilemma and I think the point is that it's very hard to say to your guests that each one clears me out financially every time! I don't earn a lot and the choice is, NO visitors or Visitors plus worry about money for the rest of each month.
I'll have to give some kind of thought to coming up with a "phrase" I can use that is effective but not offensive to my guests to encourage them to help a bit towards to food, drink and petrol taking them around all the things that they want to see and do.
And people say we Scots are mean... A guest here is simply welcomed, harassed by children, cats and dogs and but the rest of it is given from the heart with nothing expected from anywhere.
Simple answer to your problems ---------- next time someone says they'd like to visit just ask them for the housekeeping money they would have spent had they stayed at home, or be rude, as i am and tell them you don't run a charity hostel and that a bag of 400 Tetley Tea bags just doesn't cut the mustard.
The funny thing is, I love having visitors but they DO need to be fed and just because I love cooking for them at home and, yes, it IS cheaper than going to restaurants all the time, I still end up draining my account doing the shopping. Breakfast stuff, juice, wine, beer, shower gel, etc..it all adds up. I'm trying to work out how to subtly say, please could you contribute to it. I end up every month having to watch my pennies, but I wouldn't want to turn visitors down. I love seeing them.
Also, I never get invited to stay at their places. I suppose they think that we wouldn't be interested in their areas. They seem to forget sometimes that visits are about seeing EACH OTHER. Don't REALLY know the answer...
'Like'
Funnily enough, we don't seem to have a problem with visitors. Perhaps we are just rude, or people don't like us!
Family are not always friends
Family do not always take the time to care.
Cunning - but no doubt effective! At least you get things you REALLY want if you have to put up with people that you really don't want!
Well my current circumstances don’t really allow for freeloaders as the accom is managed by the company - very much like uni halls. I have had my sister and BFF over as it’s possible to get around the ‘no guests’ policy but they bring me things and pay their way. Plus they me so much entertainment that I’m more than happy to put them up 
The only people I’d be willing to put up for free once I get my own place are obviously my parents, sis & BFF and my cousin and his family as they are the only people who have put me up for extended periods of time and never asked for anything in return. I also know that the rest of my family would soon find reasons not to come, sad as it is 
Hello Emily, I wanted to tell how this situation was eventually resolved. I finally managed to talk to my brother - they'd been away on holidays - and he told me his wife had been getting a lot of flak from her family. We talked about families and I was able to say that my son would like to see him more. He just hadn't realised. I was pleased because I was able to say it without being hurt or aggressive.
We have a list of things for potential guests to bring from the UK which are impossible/difficult/expensive to get in France. Marmite, drinkable tea, Branston pickle, custard powder, marmalade, Hellman's etc etc. The list can be longer, more expensive, heavier, more bulky or more inconvenient tailored to the desirability of the guests. Paint, insulation or specific marmalade from Harrod's for instance. If the guests are excellent then we pay them for what they have brought. So far for us this has been a win-win situation.
:-))
You will not be saying that as they pinch your backed beans and finish the last of your Branston Pickle drinking the last of your sherry, leaving their dripping swimming bits over your new pine staircase to dry and sleeping with your french neighbours daughter Whilst popping another straw in the top of another bottle of wine. Thats just the women! the blokes can be worse.
Mine, all mine (well and my OH's too being her bro and all...). Perhaps we could make up for the slack work by doing a rent-a-brother-in-law service although his boss might not like it too much!
Do you think he would come and visit me too while he is over?? I could do with some plastering, some hitch resolving and some massaging!! :-))
Too right, my bro-in-law's partner is an actor who goes from straight masculine into flopsy bunny fairy gay at the drop of a hat and can one moment be plastering like a pro and the next holding his spatula limp wristed saying he wants (but in Italian) a wee-wee. Untold working hours are lost but bro-in-law is great, he has converted a mountain hut into a fantastic weekend house without any professional help and if there is a hitch he looks, thinks and resolves. It will be a good couple of weeks, plus he is a kind of physio who actually treats disabled people but nonetheless a massage after a day of hard work from him and wow!