Brexit humour


(Peter Goble) #64

I believe you 100% Stella. But like me you must agree that - at our venerable age - we are thoroughly acculturated into the make-do-and-mend mind-set, and have thoroughly absorbed home-cooking and market-haggling since we were toddlers. Not such the modern types who don’t know that hens lay eggs and think that meat is made by Amazon, if they have any idea at all…


(stella wood) #65

The Cubs can/do learn to cook… so there is hope for the younger generation…:roll_eyes:


(Teresa Shipley) #66

Both my children, 27 and 34 years are very proficient cooks.
I always cooked from scratch when they were growing up so they acquired a basic knowledge.
My husband is better than he was but still not a natural cook. He was rather spoiled by his mum I think.


(Nellie Moss ) #67

My dad once had to cook a meal when my Mum was ill. We got everything at half hour intervals and part way through he took a tranquilliser


(Paul Flinders) #68


(David Martin) #69

My mother was an awful cook, it wasn’t her thing and my father did more than his share. I have always cooked and so have my sons. My daughter doesn’t even though her mother is a keen cook. I’ve never seen it as being a gender related thing.


(Mandy Davies) #70

I think it’s probably a melange of natural talent and keen interest. My Dad was an excellent cook and my Mum is also. He taught me the art of cooking eggs, my favourite food! :egg:

I love to cook and hubby loves my food, thankfully. My lasagne is legendary and much requested by all who have eaten it.

Hubby is also an excellent cook and used to love to experiment (although he can’t anymore which is a big loss for him) and we used to enjoy being in the kitchen together. Both his parents were trained chefs and were army cooks during WW2.


(Paul Flinders) #71

Seen on Facebook - attribution uncertain.

Scene: A cafe, probably in Rickmansworth

LEAVER: I want an omelette.

REMAINER: Right. It’s just we haven’t got any eggs.

LEAVER: Yes, we have. There they are. [HE POINTS AT A CAKE]

REMAINER: They’re in the cake.

LEAVER: Yes, get them out of the cake, please.

REMAINER: But we voted in 1975 to put them into a cake.

LEAVER: Yes, but that cake has got icing on it. Nobody said there was going to be icing on it.

REMAINER: Icing is good.

LEAVER: And there are raisins in it. I don’t like raisins. Nobody mentioned raisins. I demand another vote.

DAVID CAMERON ENTERS.

DAVID CAMERON: OK.

DAVID CAMERON SCARPERS.

LEAVER: Right, where’s my omelette?

REMAINER: I told you, the eggs are in the cake.

LEAVER: Well, get them out.

EU: It’s our cake.

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes, get them out now.

REMAINER: I have absolutely no idea how to get them out. Don’t you know how to get them out?

LEAVER: Yes! You just get them out and then you make an omelette.

REMAINER: But how?! Didn’t you give this any thought?

LEAVER: Saboteur! You’re talking eggs down. We could make omelettes before the eggs went into the cake, so there’s no reason why we can’t make them now.

THERESA MAY: It’s OK, I can do it.

REMAINER: How?

THERESA MAY: There was a vote to remove the eggs from the cake, and so the eggs will be removed from the cake.

REMAINER: Yeah, but…

LEAVER: Hang on, if we take the eggs out of the cake, does that mean we don’t have any cake? I didn’t say I didn’t want the cake, just the bits I don’t like.

EU: It’s our cake.

REMAINER: But you can’t take the eggs out of the cake and then still have a cake.

LEAVER: You can. I saw the latest Bake Off and you can definitely make cakes without eggs in them.

REMAINER: Cakes without eggs are pretty horrible. Fine. Take the eggs out. See what happens.

LEAVER: It’s not my responsibility to take the eggs out. Get on with it.

REMAINER: Why should I have to come up with some long-winded incredibly difficult chemical process to extract eggs that have bonded at the molecular level to the cake, while somehow still having the cake?

LEAVER: You lost, get over it.

THERESA MAY: By the way, I’ve started the clock on this.

REMAINER: So I assume you have a plan?

THERESA MAY: Actually, back in a bit. Just having another election.

REMAINER: Jeremy, are you going to sort this out?

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes. No. Maybe.

EU: It’s our cake.

LEAVER: Where’s my omelette? I voted for an omelette.

REMAINER: This is ridiculous. This is never going to work. We should have another vote, or at least stop what we’re doing until we know how to get the eggs out of the cake while keeping the bits of the cake that we all like.

LEAVER/MAY/CORBYN: WE HAD A VOTE. STOP SABOTAGING THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE. EGGSIT MEANS EGGSIT.

REMAINER: Fine, I’m moving to France. The cakes are nicer there.

LEAVER: You can’t. We’ve taken your freedom of movement.