Forum problems elsewhere

As I mentioned it elsewhere, in the Good News thread, I have had a small problem in another forum. Not appropriate to explain further in that thread I thought I would just give a brief history of it here.

This is primarily because, as my same pseudo is used wherever I go, there may be some members here who are also members there but, although have noticed something untoward happening, because of censorship, do not know the story behind it.

I go back before Total France but it is there that the problem started. Completely out of the blue somebody who had just been made a moderator took offence at something I said. I was given a warning. Sometime later, another mod made almost exactly the same comment that I had and I jokingly said ‘watch out, you can get your knuckles rapped for that’ followed by a smiley wink.

My nemesis mod immediately suspended me for 13 days, then forgot to lift the ban which extended to 30. I decided this wasn’t the place for me and moved on.

Later I spent a long time in a very friendly forum but one day ‘Nemesis’ arrived. When that forum folded, due to the owner no longer wanting to run it, Nemesis said they had a forum not used and ready to go and invited everyone to join. I declined and searched for pastures new. Nemesis pleaded with me to reconsider and not wanting me to lose all my friends confessed that they had been wrong on TF and apologised profusely. I declined and, again, moved on.

The one I found seemed fine but when someone who knew me asked why I hadn’t gone to Nemesis’ forum I explained briefly why. The owner, who said Nemesis was a friend (not true according to N who told me later) objected and from then on I was a marked man and imagined ‘faults’ were often pointed out. Eventually a good feel thread of the progress of a beautiful Dobermann girl I was fostering was suddenly locked after a lengthy outburst by this person accusing me of all sorts of things and announcing my immediate ban. The reason? I innocently ‘liked’ a post by someone I didn’t know and was unaware that she was on the hit list of the owners, so my ‘like’ was taken as a dig at them.

On recommendation by a friend I was introduced to this forum and have been very happy especially in all the support I have received over my wife’s health. However, again via another friend I was invited to Nemesis’ forum and, as once again N made it clear that they had been at fault before and with the comment that ‘you would not need a grace period as you are known not to be a troublemaker’, I gave in and joined.

All was fine for a year or so but then a French man joined the forum. He was a retired engineer in the Vendee and was very useful as you would expect in all his advice and help. I conversed from time to time by email and although it was obvious that politically he was somewhat to the right of centre, I got on with him alright. He then introduced us all to Zemmour and his policies. Along with others I was less than impressed but treated our friend as messenger rather than prophet and was not pleased to see him hounded out of the forum by one person in particular. The other day that person, a British immigrant of French nationality announced that as Macron was shit he and his wife were seriously thinking of voting for Le Pen. At the end of another post of mine I commented that I was surprised to see that, from one who had taken offence to references to the other right winger in French politics. That was objected to by a member and Nemesis deleted the comment. That member then said it was her and, after I said it was merely a valid comment in a thread about the election she replied ‘take it to PM’. I dislike PMs because they disappear overtime and prefer emails which, with me, don’t, but agreed and voiced my opinion that way to her. The reply was ‘whatever’. I tried again with the same one word result so I mentioned that I had agreed to PMs but without success, that was all and would have been the end of it but, Nemesis suddenly popped up and attacked me in a post, which left me no choice but to reply to defend myself.

The next day all of that exchange has been deleted and I am required to sign in before posting, but on doing so I find that my password is no longer accepted.

Sorry this has been so long but my brief comment in the Good News thread needed explanation and I have been careful not to name the forums still live concerned or the people involved, or even the gender of principal people. I certainly don’t want it to give rise to any further aggro there but at least for those who read this and do know where and what I am talking about they do now have the facts that have been deleted. :slightly_smiling_face:

In view of all the above anonymity, @james I hope I haven’t in any way transgressed the rules of this forum. :slightly_smiling_face:


One of the things I like about SF is that (on the whole) we moderate ourselves and when there are issues they can be flagged up to @cat and @james. Seems to me a much more adult behaviour than having some individual(s) always deciding what is/is not permitted.
Sorry to hear about your problems David. I had a soft spot for TF, not least because like here it was an incredibly useful source of information at a time when we were just finding our feet. I also liked the photography section and the competitions because I learnt so much from other photographers.


Well, someone has just flagged this post ! And I have disagreed with it as I don’t think it is ‘inappropriate’ in the slightest.

If the person who flagged it would like to explain their reasoning further I would of course be interested in their thoughts :slight_smile:

I know the site you are referring to in any case :slight_smile:


I find this an interesting window into how these sites work (as I haven’t any significant experience of any others).

Thank you both, I do know that it is ‘bad form’ to bring baggage across from one forum to another in principle but, as I had made my light hearted comment in the Good News thread and seen the response, thought perhaps a little explanation was needed. However if it is thought that it shouldn’t be here I would happily concede that it should be removed. The last thing I want is to sow discord. (Isn’t Google wonderful for ageing brains, I got as far as ‘dis’ but could only think of discount and discard, neither of which were what I meant :rofl:)

@SuePJ I know what you mean about TF, less good after the takeover though, but before even that I was on a forum based in Bordeaux, backed by an English language newspaper. When the newspaper folded (sorry :roll_eyes:) so did the forum.

@cat What I wrote above is not the whole story, particularly in the 3rd forum, but I was trying, some might say unsuccessfully, to keep it as brief as possible.

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Having experienced both zero moderation and draconian moderation, this place is a breath of fresh air with a friendly country pub feel to it as almost all users self -moderate.


Well I have just had a lovely DM from the person who flagged explaining that she didn’t realise we’d be cool with such a thread as she’s a newbie, so all is good in the world!

And thank you for the nice comments people. It is lovely when we get positive feedback. One of the reasons we started SF was to be ‘unlike the others’ and to provide a nurturing environment without ridiculous and draconian moderation. We don’t always get it right but we do try!

Ps - best forum story ever (probably?!) - James got his post deleted from aggroinfo years ago because….he replied for someone looking to go dog walking with their Rhodesian Ridgeback as our Rhodesian Ridgeback - “hello my name is Mischa and I love chasing sticks, running on beaches and chewing bones” sort of thing and……wait for it….didn’t include his doggy registration number!!!


That’s good to know, I was worried that someone from ‘the other side’ with an axe to grind was objecting. I understand the need for pseudos but regretted the dropping of names here, a feature I liked, though fully understood the good reason why, but it does mean that people can migrate anonymously from one place to another. Which is why I keep the same one wherever I go. :wink:

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A general question, if you participate on different forums do you write in the same style across all of them or does the moderating temper what you feel you can say?

I can’t answer that @tim17 as all my eggs are in the SF basket :grin:
Nowhere else matters to me…


I have only one style - but I temper myself. Often I would really like to have a go at some political statements, but feel that my opinion might be clouded by my heritage. Same with medical advise - we all have our burden to bear. If people don’t take science into account how can any statement of mine change their view.
Hence I often only ‘lurk’ in a forum (here or on FB) and then go and lie down to calm :sunglasses: my spinning head…

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Talking of FB as @Bettina has mentioned, you might be interested to know that the EU has (only yesterday) approved new legislation to make online interventions safer. This can only be good news.


I am with Bettina on this, Tim, horses for courses. I don’t mean that I am vicious on totally un-moderated forums but I do realise what and where the limits are. Language, swearing, is a case in point. It seems on here to be acceptable in context but as a result I think generally people police themselves.

It might surprise some people but, the largest UK lorry drivers’ forum has very strict rules on language. Even ‘bloody’ is forbidden which seems pretty mild (though its origins were a blasphemy) . Nobody is sanctioned but it is changed automatically to (zb) in the resulting text (Zarrbeen was one of the founding members and who formulated the policy :smiley:). But they have a Preview option when composing a post and if I am not sure of something I check with that first before posting. Others pepper their phrases with (zb)s with not a care in the world. :rofl:

On the other hand, that forum was extremely lax on personal attacks. There were no prisoners taken from the leave side of the Brexit debate.

I guess the problem is that people are still people and have the same faults as they have in real life - but amplified, because of the nature of exchanges on forums. Many of us say things to others on forums we wouldn’t dream of saying face-to-face.

And you do see the same old faces on different forums: some posting astonishing amounts of nonsense, creating an atmosphere wherever they go, bickering … but many - like you, David (and many others on here) - being refreshingly normal.

Expressing oneself on social media can be difficult, nuance and humour does not always translate into the purely written medium, even with aids such as emojis.

It seems that some people don’t even try though and make use of Internet anonymity to be unpleasant to others, quite why they feel the need to do so I am not sure, but it seems more common these days (and I go back as far as Usenet which could certainly be “no holds barred” at times).

SF, in general, is an excellent site - personal attacks are few and far between and those which do creep through can be dealt with (edit: and generally are).


We’ve been verbally attacked all over social media pretty much since we launched in 2010 from some proper weirdos. Stuff you would not believe!


do tell please - we could all have hints in how NOT to behave online

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I think the nice aspect of this forum is that everyone is generally very polite, courteous and very helpful, unlike some other sites where it astounds me how abrasive and infantile folks can be. Unfortunately alot of keyboard warriors out there who love to hide behind their screen, with little to no regard for the feelings of others. I’d love to know how their minds work.


I have been meaning to say sorry for a while!


Some may be aware of Jonathan Haidt’s analyses of how (he thinks) social media is undermining a polite and constructive public sphere. Personally I find this recent counter-view more convincing:

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