First of all @strudball , thank you for raising this question, just as I was thinking along the same lines myself. You must be psychic.
My wife, after her first (of 3) strokes over 5 years ago returned from 10 days in hospital diagnosed with ‘demence vasculaire’. Since then she has slowly deteriorated but in the last week or so this has been accelerated.
I thus informed those who needed to know that I could no longer do my dog deliveries, being away from home twice recently for 7 hours produced frantic phone calls from her demanding to know where I was, this despite it being clearly explained before I left.
She often spends all day, fully clothed, in bed, and lately all night sitting in a chair facing a blank wall. A lifelong smoker she seems to forget to smoke. She will put a cigarette in her mouth and sit there with it unlit for hours while studying the packet and flicking a lighter on and off. She thinks she is smoking.
She has an appointment with a specialist in Perigueux next January, I suppose the previously excellent French access to such people is affected by covid, like everything else.
Her toenails are very long and curling back towards ingrowing, she won’t let me cut them and a request for a nurse was met with a recommendation to use a specialist (based locally) but I must first take her to our own doctor to get a prescription for that.
We are coping at the moment but the future, especially if I start to go the same way is bleak. As regards resort to children, 2 of hers, in England, are not well off and certainly could not respond to aid demanded, and the only one we think has the means lives in Eire and cut her off for mysterious reasons many years ago.