Happy Birthday! 
Oh my goodness, an avalanche of greetings, mainly due to a slip of the tongue perhaps? Thank you all nevertheless. 
No celebrations @JaneJones , like Christmas it is just another day, it will be the remains of last nightâs veggie stir fry with a Toulouse sausage bought from the butcher this morning. Quick and easy, thatâs the way to do it. 
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Happy birthday David!!
Wishing you a very Happy Birthday, David! 
All the Best enjoy your Birthday 
Thank you, thank you all, again, this is quite embarrassing, especially as all but one good wishes have come via a thread entitled âFrench social care for the elderlyâ. So I must be officially elderly now. 
I had a nice greeting from Christine this morning when she saw the lone birthday card with a large 80 on the front, âso I was right after all, you are not in your 70s, I always thought you were in your 60s.â Nice because I know she is not buttering me up, we have a healthy regular exchange of uncomplimentary sarcastic remarks. Todayâs was after we had been discussing yet again the tightness of the hour devoted to Franâs care against the generosity allowed for the 2 hour cleaning schedule. I remarked âI am not so bothered about the cleaningâ, meaning I can handle that myself, but her reply swift as an arrow was âevidentlyâ .
So her compliments, coming from someone at least 20 years my junior, is so stupidly happily, received. 
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Elderly you may be, but at least youâre enjoying a sausage tonight.
Happy birthday from both of us too! Xx
Happy Birthday David.
Thanks again, and to @Ancient_Mariner , the sausage was very tasty but the remains of the previous eveningâs stir fry, was eye wateringly spicy. It seems that re-heated inthe micro and poured out complete with its lashings of olive oil, rather than strained out, has a remarkable effect on the piquancy.
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Reheating often seems to release the compounds responsible for heat in spicy food - I hope it doesnât burn both ways for you. 
Belated greetings David.
Currently in the UK, so happy birthday from across the water
All the better for being this side of it Bon retour. 
David, this would be a good time to ask your MT to apply for a disabled driver card, I feel Fran should be eligible for an ambulance /car?
Belated birthday wishes, I hope you enjoyed a cheeky red with your sausage 
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I doubt it Lily, or at least I doubt the value to Fran, now that the doctor visits her here, her sorties from the house are now just twice a year and even those, though inconvenient for me, make no difference to her as I am allowed to double park at Francheville with no rush to get the chair out and set up to wheel her directly through the doors into the warm to wait while I park the car. The card wouldnât allow me to park anywhere else without her, so what would be the point?
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Happy Birthday David ! 
Thank you
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Well after all the euphoria and light conversation, back down to earth with an almost almighty bump today.
Last night Fran refused point blank to be lifted from her chair for the toilet and bed. I normally hold her wrists as gently as possible and, with her help after unbottoning all her clothes, lift her to her feet. She then follows, still with wrists held, to the bathroom.
I sit her down and, after leaving her there for 20 minutes or so and partly following the example of the aides, clean her by reaching down behind and under her to clean her while she remains seated. This avoids all infection contact at the front. Once clean of solid matter I lift her and lead her to stand at the washbasin where I complete the process and then using a specific flannel glove with soapy warm water (still from the kettle) clean and rinse till completely clean and dry. Then suitably re-attired, to bed.
Last night, face firmly set she offered no help. Without help I cannot lift her, the braked wheels of the chair simply skid across the tiles. There is one other way. I could lock my hands behind her back and physically do it all myself, but that involves several risks, to both of us. Broken ribs on her part (it is a bear hug after all) or a re-dislocation of the shoulder that has never got better since the last time I did something similar. Less likely, but still a consideration, is the enormous strain, even with such a light person, that it puts on my torso and the possibility of a rupture which would put us both in hospital.
So I did the buttons up again, spread a warm soft dressing gown around her shoulders, re-parked her at the table so she couldnât fall out, re-set the heater which had been switched off for the night, to a slow but constant flow, put a glass of water before her and went to bed. I didnât sleep well, worrying of what I would find in the morning, finally fell asleep, after reading for a time, at 6am and then solid till 10. 
She was awake and apparently comfortable and I determined that I would follow my normal routine and tend to her last, fearful of what I would find, in order to be free for whatever was necessary to do.
Half an hour ago I knew the worst. Perfectly amenable now I took her to the bathroom and removed the pants. I do hope you arenât eating, I made sure all mine was done beforehand, I was presented with masses of thick brown puree (my word of the day today, obviously) hanging in long 15 cms curtains from the bottom of her stomach right around to the back. I have left her there in the vain hope that gravity will play itâs part, but I know it is most unlikely. How the hell do I clean all that? It will take ages with half a roll of paper no doubt to do it the traditional way from the back and even then unlikely to avoid a mess all over the floor. No hot water apart from the kettle, so no shower, not even the bidet, she is too thin to sit safely on that and, in any case that is not where this stuff should go. Quite apart from allowing gravity and nature to hopefully play a part, I had to come away and leave her there because I was incandescent with rage and had to let it all out away from there both vocally and here.
She wouldnât do this to an aide. As @toryroo knows the specialist wants her to have daily visits because she knows what can happen with me, but the next morning one is on Thursday and no doubt she will be sweetness and light with Christine. In the absence of that, if this happens again I will just have to force the issue, literally, and resort to the bear hug.
I have to go now and face the issue. Whether anyone is reading this or not it doesnât matter. It has been worth it to help me calm down.
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Oh, dear David! I am so sorry. I read and am trying to think of what might be of help for you.
Could you fit a hand shower with long hose to the basin or bath tap, that you could use as a sort of self made Japanese Toto Lavatory?
Not sure youâd want to use a hair dryer for drying Fran afterwards but a towel to dry works.
Hand shower would help with any cleanup of the floor if required when all is done. Handy if you have a floor drain to spray towards.
Kitchen towels maybe better than loo paper because that last one decomposes very fast when wet. No need to flush, just collect in a plastic bag for disposal later.
The Toto Loo also offers music but you may want to skip that.
I wish you a big Bon Courage today and onwards!
Just to reassure you, yes we are reading, however painful it may be to read. And glad it has helped you calm down.
Does Fran wear a nappy? If not, would that help? Take it off with as much as possible and straight into a plastic bag.
They had to do that for my brother in his final stages of cancer - he was so heavy and unable to move from the bed, the nurses needed a hoist to lift him and get the nappy underneath him. Could that be a possibility for Fran on days when she wonât cooperate?