I imagine it was a charabanc tour round a number of clients in your area, so perhaps not that inefficient! And they would have all stopped for their €14.50 lunch paid for by the employer so team building too…
You’re beginning to sound a bit like Gill. 
But I won’t ignore you. 
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I’ve never heard of it being illegal - though frequently frowned upon and liable to make your employer think you are swinging the lead.
A junior employee in a place I worked in the UK went on holiday then on her return said she’d been sick for a few days of it so would have those days back and take them later as holiday. And she did.
HR looked into it and apparently legally she was right. Not sure if she’d returned from the original holiday with it confirmed with an actual sick note but I suspect so.
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Perhaps this should be in the Good News thread but it is reevant here. Christine, the English aide de toilette for Fran has always gone above and beyond with her care in the limited time allotted to her tasks, but occasionally, if she has a few minutes to spare she sits down with Fran and does some simple linguistic exercises with her.
Amongst other things she used to teach English to non-English speakers and also to people who had suffered some sort of brain damage. One of her props was a set of cards with pictures on. The game is to turn over a card and then remember which of the other cards pair with it. Fran loves it and always reserves her brightest and widest smile for when Christine appears.
Not slow in coming forward she did mention to her office that she had a very good rapport with both of us and how much the little games improved Fran’s mood and sense of well-being and suggested if she could have a little longer after each visit it might be a good idea.
So imagine our surprise when the schedule for next week shows, on both Monday and Friday, a whole hour after the one hour toilette visit (no matter which of them does that) in the morning dedicated entirely to Christine’s interaction with Fran.
Coming only one day after Fran’s violent mood swings were ably demonstrated by her abrupt refusal to allow Gill to take her to the toilet (she said that she had just been when, in fact it was 8 hours since the last time) and then extreme anger at both her and me, slamming her hands so hard on the table that a glass of water jumped from it and was only saved by me grabbing it, and the accusation that we ‘were both ganging up on her’, this is very welcome news.
In the event she did go and after Gill left, with more or less amicable goodbyes, within only a few minutes I was treated to a beaming smile and even a kiss. 
Christine’s wicked sense of humour, which amuses me, and also Fran, came to the fore again during the card game. Fran had turned over a picture of some plums but could not remember where its pair was. Without thinking I said ‘I know where the plums are’ to which quick as a flash, Christine said, ‘well you would obviously because you are a bloke’.
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Christine’s first ‘playday’ with Fran was a great hit. But also a very sad reminder of the way her mind is failing. Firstly the good news is that Fran enjoyed it immensely, but what I saw was also saddening. Christine tried very hard to get her to annunciate the words for images put before her, also names, her own and Christines, strangely she did best with my name. 
She was able to put numbered cards in correct order and also whisper what they were, or even just shape her mouth accordingly. Less good, but more telling was a simple test given her with a felt tip pen and small whiteboard. Christine drew a circle, a clockface , and asked Fran to put in the numbers. They were in the right places, but illegible, also only down the right hand side of the clock. Christine says that is a very common occurrence with alzheimer sufferers. Then she asked Fran to draw a clockface from scratch. She managed the circle but the numbers were again only on the right hand side but the symbols, for they were not numbers, were very similar to the ones she did before. She could have copied, the old one was alongside, but I doubt it as they were quite intricate in their error.
Not wanting to tire Fran, there was plenty of time for her to talk to me too. And she brought advance news of some changes following on from the last meeting. From next Tuesday, the 4th of April, there will be aide soignantes (from CIAD) coming in late mornings to do the toiletting. I was in 2 minds about this, not wanting to lose the excellent ladies who visit from CIAS but raised no objections. Then yesterday morning when Gill came there was much more detail. She had obviously been asked to brief me. We are not to lose the CIAS ‘girls’, unless I want to, so they will continue to come at 8 or 9 in the mornings but not to get Fran up, instead to see if she needs changing and cleaning while still in bed (Christine, alone amongst them, does do this now but gets her up and to the toilet also) and to check and apply anti-bedsore cream where necessary. Also, breakfast in bed.
But then, this morning, there was more, they are planning to come mid afternoon as well without losing the last visit from CIAS in the day for half an hour around 5.30 to 6pm. If all this happens, in just over a month or so, we have gone from 2 visits a week (plus a 2 hour cleaning stint) to 22.
I am a little overwhelmed by this, I can still go out, shopping etc., but there is no doubt that it is going to change my habits. Not overlooked from beyond the garden I am going to have to be a lot more circumspect about walking around deshabiller for instance. I did once broach this to Christine before all this happened, after she had turned up 15 minutes early. Would I be accused of something? Not at all apparently, it is your house and what you do in it is your own affair. It is not just walking around though, we only have one bathroom which contains the toilet so my planning is going to have to be much more, well, planned. A possible problem might be that the CIAD team will not have a schedule, only ‘mid to late morning’ and the same in the afternoon. They will be here only to take Fran to the toilet and wash her
It is clear from this, and Gill said as much, that Fran is being moved from aide to medical and I reckon they are worried about her. When I voiced surprise that they could manage all this the answer was ‘you have the hours (authorised)’.
So. we’ll see how we go and I will update here, but I reckon we are still doing honour in this thread to the implied question in the title. 
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I think it is great that they are stepping up unprompted. From everything you’ve written it seems Fran does need increasing amounts of care to ensure her wellbeing. So they have seen the need before it gets critical. And if they can get a bit more food into here then even better.
So a few strategically placed bathrobes is a small price to pay.
I’m actually quite impressed. That charabanc tour a few weeks ago has had an effect😄.
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This is very long, sorry, but necessary.
Wednesday 5th of April 2023
How can one woman bring you down and make you feel so ill after feeling so good in a day?
You know who I mean. Gill.
It had been a good day in lovely sunshine, Christine (from CIAS) had as ever been a great help in need and Isabelle (from SSIAD) and I had reached a useful conclusion as to how to proceed. Also, in the afternoon, Christelle had returned to her cleaning duties from ill health and we had chatted during and after she worked, all in French of course, and I had completed the cutting and stacking of all the logs cut yesterday from the tree felled in the recent high winds.
Then. This.
The new regime came into force yesterday with the first meeting with SSIAD (not CIAD as previously thought) coming in towards the end of Christine’s stint with Fran at 9 this morning. I had made it known to Gill that the new sequence as described by her was not sensible in my opinion and Christine understood why I thought that way. We were undecided but in the end we went more or less with my view and got Fran out of bed and to the toilet before a brief necessary wash and into the wheelchair with an extra warm dressing gown on. This caused an amicable discussion with Isabelle from SSIAD but she could see the sense of it and Fran was taken back to the bathroom where she had a very good wash with anti-bedsore cream applied as well as other cream more or less all over. Then dressed and back to the chair for her medicines and the porridge that I had prepared for her.
So far so good but this was not what the new regime had demanded. It was Gill who a week or so ago, when announcing the addition of the SSIAD team to Fran’s care, had passed on what the new people saw as the way ahead. This was it:
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CIASS at 8 or 9am according to rdv time to rouse Fran and check her for a check of protection and change if necessary.
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Remove old protection and put on new one.
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Provide her with meds and then breakfast, in bed. Then leave.
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SSIAD arrive at between 10 and 11am, no fixed time.
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Remove Fran from bed and take her to the toilet and leave her till she is ready .
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Wash her completely at the sink (or shower once a week on a Friday), including teeth, dry her with 2 separate towels then apply preventative cream to bedsore sites and Vaseline cream to the rest.
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Dress her and return her to wheelchair then leave.
This differs considerably from my own system largely followed by the CIAS team, and makes no sense for several reasons.
Sitting up in bed for Fran is difficult, although the head of the bed raises electrically her bottom is not close to the bottom of the raised section which causes a curvature of her back and is very difficult to remedy, requiring a lifting and sliding backwards of her body. I wouldn’t attempt it and I would be surprised if a health and safety conscious organisation would recommend or authorise it for their staff. We know from experience that it is difficult to achieve in the wheelchair and I do so by standing behind her and reaching in with a bear hug to lift her towards me but am always worried that she could suffer a further displacement of her already damaged shoulder, not to mention the danger to my own body. My first thought at the outset was to face her and push her knees backwards with my own but that gave her too much pain. Isabelle favours this method but uses a cushion between the 2 sets of knees. I think this is best but the chair needs bracing against something solid to avoid being pushed backwards, the brakes being ineffective on the tiled floor. So, breakfast in bed, unless absolutely clinically necessary is out and, in any case neither of us has ever liked, and therefore followed, the practice.
Anybody roused from sleep knows that the first thing they want to do is have a pee. So why deny her this basic instinct and right and in addition after changing her protection, then encourage further contamination of the new ones, requiring a 2nd change within an hour or two?
Likewise with eating in bed before rising. If that does anything, and we are talking warm porridge here followed by a protein rich cream, Fortimel or equivalent, will only encourage a premature soiling of the new protection. She almost never now does that if allowed to go to the toilet immediately.
Then she is expected to settle back down, perhaps to sleep, to await the largely indeterminate time of the SSIAD arrival to get her out of bed at last. This might be as long as another 2 hours or more.
I voiced my total opposition to this farce as soon as it was first mentioned to me over a week ago by Gill. She argued, without any evidence to back it.
The following is my method, largely followed by both Gill and Christine of CIASS:
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CIASS at 8 or 9am to rouse Fran and assist her from bed.
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Take her to the toilet and leave her till she is ready.
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Lift her and wash and change her as necessary including teeth and application of creams.
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Walk her to the wheelchair, dress her and sit her in it.
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Give her medicine and porridge followed by Fortimel.
Job done, everybody happy.
As mentioned above, after Christine left, Isabelle of SSIAD, saw the common sense in this method and agreed with it. After a long phone call to her ‘chef’ she said that she/he agreed with it too and that Isabelle would write it all down for the others to follow, some of whom would be here for the first time.
Jubilant with this result I texted Christine to call me when she had a moment and when she did so was pleased at the result.
Imagine my surprise when Gill arrived for the evening shift at 5.30pm and the first thing she said was ‘I hear everything was muddled up this morning’.
She said that her boss had been rung by the SSIAD bos to complain that Christine had got Fran up first thing in contravention of the agreed procedure. She then proceeded to berate me on the decision to use their method at the ‘charabanc’ meeting (as @Jane Jones has it;-)) and when I retorted that I agreed to no such thing and indeed did not know about it because, once again, a solemn promise was broken to send me a resume precisely in order to avoid such a misunderstanding happening in translation, she denied knowing anything about it and blustered that she had not translated because ‘she couldn’t be expected to translate everything’. I agreed of course to the latter which is exactly why I needed the bloody resume !!! She also said that Mme. Delaporte, who is the coordinator of all these different acronyms always promised and delivered chapter and verse of any meeting she attended, had been replaced in the role by one of the men from Nontron who attended both meetings and gave empty promises of a resume to both. I left the room to calm down, I was very angry and hurt because I have been the soul of discretion with her and refused to rise to her shouted ways and even come to her rescue with Fran when, several times she has shouted at Gill and point blank refused to move for her. Fran even once accused us both of ganging up on her and only moved because I pleaded and said ‘please do it for me to make things easier later’ I meant by this for when I took her to bed later, still clean.
As Gill passed me through the room on the way out I was shaking and unable to look at her as she at first denied having said that Mme. Delaporte had been replaced and then announced that she would not be coming as planned tomorrow morning but in the afternoon after she had had chance to talk to her boss at CIASS.
I could not calm down for several hours, I felt ill and still feel that if push comes to shove I will tell the lot of them to clear off and leave us to it. Not sensible but the way I felt and am still determined not to be pushed around in this way.
The only good feeling during this was first when Jules forced his way between us several times before she left to nuzzle and cuddle me, and a cuddle before from Fran, not a frequent occurrence these days, when she held me tight and said, in an unaccustomed clear voice ‘I don’t blame you’.
I have written this first in ‘Fran, A Diary’ started long ago when someone earlier here advised me to record everything, and, on and off, it has taken me 6 hours from start to finish.
I apologise for the extreme length but, once again, I feel it is in the spirit of the thread that it should be reported because, yes, there is a whole load of help from many dedicated people in the French care system, but sometimes it comes at a very high price and there might be a point at which that price is too high.
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Bon courage, it is so hard having to depend on lots of people being intelligent and efficient and communicative and cooperative and nice in order for things to happen.
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Do you think that instead of trying to keep the peace with Gill that the time has come to tell her that out of all the assistance you receive she is the only one who causes difficulties and might she like to think on that?
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Thanks both and @Jane_Williamson yes, you could be right. I have avoided conflict with her and smoothed the way between her and Fran because, despite her loudness and awful person to person skills, there is no doubt that she is very good at her job normally to the extent that it has been easy to keep out of her way because I know she can get on with it.
But the time might be nigh to call a halt, in any case CIASS seem to have taken a unilateral decision to cut their hours with Fran. Gill has been cancelled for this morning and I see from the online planning site (which crashed last night) that she is cancelled for tomorrow morning too. She is still slated for the 2 short evening sessions today and tomorrow though.
When I was first appraised of the immminent arrival of the SSIAD team I was asked, in view of their proposed morning visits, if I wanted to cancel the CIAS morning visits and my answer was an immediate and emphatic no. Seems as if my, and our, own opinion is being discarded.
Would you believe it? They have just re-instated the morning CIAS visits, and to get her out of bed immediately and to the toilet then back again but in her dressing gown to the wheelchair. Ready for the SSIAD nurse to come in and get her washed completely and dressed.
Bet the gilly jones and the young pensioners wish they had my power, and not a single bottle thrown or barrier erected.
Still don’t know why one acronym was complaining to the other acronym about something that had already been agreed though. 
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I have a vision of you and the dogs in front of your gate, with a brazier and a banner, demanding human rights for the partners of those being cared for!
As they say get more flies with honey than whatever the other half of that truism is.
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Maybe Gill doesn’t wield as much power as she says or thinks she does and they listen to Christine + the others just as much
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I do hope so, all sweetness and light half an hour ago when she was back here again and Fran still refused to go for a pee, but as it was only a couple of hours since the ‘special’ visit I did not try to persuade her this time.
I do have some sympathy, believe it or not, the poor woman can be summed up in 3 words, loud, condescending and bullying and it is very difficult to put those out of mind when she is trying to be nice. It simply does not come across as sincere.
I had to laugh out loud yesterday morning when chatting to an old friend and his wife outside the bar. He told me that a Scotsman had bought a house near to him and, of course, I asked if he knew his name. He didn’t and I mentioned that we have a Scotswoman visiting Fran several times a week and that we didn’t get on some of the time. Quick as a flash, Marie, his wife, said ‘Gill’. I cracked up and Philippe asked if it was because of animosity between the English and the Scots. Not the first time I have been asked that and of course I denied it in saying it has nothing to do with it, just personality that’s all. I went on to begin to explain that Gill had a habit of contradicting everything I said. ‘si je dis quelquechose, Gill…’ at that point Marie finished the sentence in saying…‘dit l’autre’. Then her phone rang and I didn’t get to find out how she knew her, or how well.
Anyway, I came here to ask a question. My former classmates have arranged to celebrate our 80th year in June and, my name with one other (in Australia) was mentioned as 2 at least who will not be able to come. He knows our situation here. Did set me thinking though, much as I would not look forward to the journey, it would be a shame to miss probably the last time we will ever meet, even though, as a healthy bunch of octogenarians, only 4 of us are known to have died out of a class of more than 30.
I asked Gill as the fount of all knowledge and she suggested the doctor or Marie-Christine one of the new nurses attached to the local hospital which does respite care, but I won’t see her again till Thursday so wondered if anyone here has other suggestions. If Fran can be ‘taken into care’ it would be for 3 or 4 days and nights but I reckon the process should be started straight away. I am loath to phone or email, knowing my problems with the former and everybody else’s problems with the latter.
If he lives near Blanzay (86) then I’m feeling a bit seen.
Not all that far but, at 123 kms, I don’t think his eyesight is that good. 
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What a great thing to do! And yes there and back in such a short space of time will be a bit gruelling, but could be well worth it. If only for getting away for a bit.
Yes start now! And try to be quite clear that you HAVE to go away for a family event (schoolmates are sort of family?) and that live in care is not possible in your house, so need respite care. They have promised this I recall in the past so what a good opportunity to push it.
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