I’ve looked at the other treads on this subject and you all seem to know far far more than me because nobody has been sufficiently ‘technophobe’ to ask this embarrassingly simple question.
Where I live presently in the UK, I have been spoiled, as the internet I use was set up by someone else. There is a gadget called a LiveBox with 4 green lights that is wirelessly connected to my desktop computer. I just switch it on and everything works.
However, I have to set up the internet at my new (to me) house in Deux-Sevres and I’m not sure (no, to be honest, I haven’t a clue) where to start. There seems to have a phone line going to the house but when I was there I didn’t notice, or even look for, any phone connection in the house. Yes I know, silly me, should have had that on my check-list.
When I move there, I don’t want a fixed phone. All I want is a French SIM for my old Apple 7 (and I’ve been told LeClerc sell the cheapest one). I am a very light phone user. I also need an internet connection that will enable me to e-mail, to look at the odd Youtube video and to, very occasionally, send some work related PDF files which are generally less than 350kb in size.
My question, what do I need to do to get a basic no-frill internet service at my French house? I assume I need the phone-line for the internet. Do I need to contact the phone company? Do I need a LiveBox or the French equivalent? How do I proceed.
If you reply, imagine you are talking to a child or an alien, don’t assume I know anything. To have a bullet point list of what to do first, then the next step etc. would be great.
Any and all replies/advice will be gratefully received.
Thanks in advance.
Basically the same, put your phone number/address into www.degroutpest.com and it will tell you what providers are available, choose one and order.
It only gets complicated if you find that you have limited and/or low speed options which is still the case for a lot of rural France.
PS - how well do you read/speak French?
The problem with that site (and all the others offering said service) is that it references the mobile operators highly optimistic coverage predictions and/or the favourite “distance from nearest cell tower below 5km = good service” ready reckoner.
The site linked thinks I have usable indoor 4G coverage when I actually have to walk to the top of my driveway to get the merest sniff of service.
True, but as you point out there isn’t much of an alternative. It’s only a starting point.
Also it should be closer to the mark for xDSL services - in fact the “checker” sites significantly underestimate what I can get out of VDSL.
You could have a look at Orange coverage…
This is very similar our usage. We don’t have WiFi (or a fixed phone line). Instead we simply use the fairly reliable mobile signal (4G) on our phones to connect with the internet. We have the Leclerc (aka Réglo) SIM which gives us more data, very cheaply, than we can possibly use each month. If we need to use our laptops to view things (eg YouTube videos, completing online forms etc) on the internet, we simply connect our phones to the laptop via the phones ‘hotspot’ (two simple clicks). Our total internet/phone costs for the year are 240€.
I also worked from our French 2nd home for several months during COVID entirely via the phone/laptop with hotspot (including endless interminable zoom calls) without any technical difficulties…
Ah NotaLot…you’re in the Lot too I guess? I recognise your description of what the networks call our ‘coverage’ 
When we are there I usually set up my phone as a wifi hotspot and connect to the internet through that. With care we can keep it down to about 5GB for just 2 weeks. If you have decent 4G coverage then that might work for you, at least at first.
Be aware that a French phone socket looks nothing like a British one.
Thanks for the link. It looks as though you have to be in France for it to work. I got this error message when I put in the French address:
“Accès refusé. Vous êtes connecté depuis un pays non autorisé.”
Very far from fluent, but enough to manage simple everyday conversation however I’m useless on the phone. Being hearing impaired, it really helps if I can see the persons face to understand what they are saying - whether it’s English or French. In a face-to-face conversation I can get 50% - 60% of what others say.
If you could send someone here your address by private message I’m sure they could check your eligibility.
This is what it shows:
ADSL
8 à 12 Mbit/s estimé en réception
0.5 à 1 Mbit/s estimé en envoi
and
3-out-of-5 for Internet navigation, films et series, et Jeu d’actions en reseau
1-ouy-of-5 for ‘Plusieurs utilisateurs’
I’m not quite sure if this is a good result.
Thanks. Will do.
Lot & Garonne.
I’m too far from the exchange to get ADSL and fibre deployment is taking its time due to my little corner of rural 47 being 5 houses and a church.
Internet is via a microwave link to a water tower 2km away which is adequate until we have a storm or the cleaner at the provider’s office unplugs the system to vacuum the carpets.
Have considered Starlink and should have grabbed a set when Darty was knocking the out for €199.
Be aware that the degrouptest website will not work properly if you are outside of France. Same for ariase.com.
Edit: Ah. I see that @Mike313 has already discovered this
OK, It used to 
One could use a VPN or (as suggested above) get someone en France to put your number into the search box.
That’s already being done…
Yes, I saw
Even though I’m not en France, my VPS is - so if anyone needs a degrouptest result I should also be able to help.
Thanks everyone for your input. Very helpful. Brian is going to do a ‘degrouptest’ for me in the near future. I’ll report back when I get everything set up
You’ll need a phone line (called the “ligne support” in French) if you want a typical Livebox-type device (called a router in tech speak), (or Freebox, Bouygues Box, etc, each provider has given their own routers their own names).
There is a strong likelihood that the phone line and phone number that was used at the address was in the name of Orange (ex-France Telecom, similar to what BT was back in the day).
The best bet would be to try and find your nearest Orange brick-and-mortar boutique to the French address, they would be able to tell you if there is a sufficient “ligne support”, and if so, what kind of offers you might be eligible for, especially if you are not comfortable trying to explain the situation over the phone. The other advantage is that phone contacts are generally really only bothered about selling you something, and the technical nouse tends to go out the window, or the questions dismissed with a "Oui, oui, mais bien sûr!)
If you are eligible for a Fibre or even ADSL subscription, you don’t necessarily have to take the option (which they will try and sell you) to be allowed to telephone, although you will nonetheless get a landline number.
Orange have an English speaking helpline. They should be able to look at the options available and talk you through it. A quick google should find their number.