Good grief

My husbands’ hedge cutter has just arrived.


Wonder if they had a bigger box :crazy_face:

3 Likes

Hahahaha excellent box though for cats or small children

1 Like

Wondering if it would be acceptable as a​:coffin: :pray::wink:

3 Likes

I had my father put in a cardboard coffin and had a florist make a blanket of flowers to cover it completely, it was beautiful.

6 Likes

That’s my favoured option Vero, there are some lovely ones available :pray:

2 Likes

You could even have a nice Amazon smiley on it :slight_smile:

2 Likes

Where? Surely not from Amazon. . . .

1 Like

Was that in France, véro ? I discussed my disposal with the local pompe funèbres recently and she told me cardboard or wickerwork coffins are not allowed. I wanted my remains to be taken directly to the crematorium in a body-bag and incinerated without ceremony.

From what I have observed coffins are not put into the incinerator anyway, they are just broken up.

The whole funeral business is IMO an unholy mess, an unviolable cartel that enjoys total impunity from scrutiny. A crummy gold-mine waiting to be plundered by unscrupulous hand-wringers who have no respect for the dead*, behind their purple velvet curtains.

*As a nurse I’ve seen the way undertakers handle corpses they collect. I recall one gentle and courteous old man I nursed who had very arthritic knees that were locked in flexion, so he wouldn’t fit in the zinc gurney. The undertaker just smashed them flat with an excruciating crack that turned even my stomach. Of course, he couldn’t feel the pain… :scream:

6 Likes

Hi Peter, no it was in England, 20 years ago. I shall investigate!

2 Likes

Coffins in cardboard and in woven willow are widely available in France so your undertaker was in error. Just try googling cerceuil en carton and cerceuil en vannerie.

2 Likes

They are available, but not legal to use it seems in France where the coffin must be in wood. Quite a lot of the sites are aimed at Belgian customers, where it is legal.

1 Like

What I find interesting in France is the combination of Ambulance and funeral companies. If there is a delay in sending an ambulance (as is the case in UK sadly) do they consider sending the funeral black van instead after a certain period of time :thinking:

Couldn’t agree more Peter. Can’t be doing with all this “ceremony”.

4 Likes

[quote=“Graham_Lees, post:12, topic:30355, full:true”]

Couldn’t agree more Peter. Can’t be doing with all this “ceremony”.[/quote]

Ah, but Peter and Graham the “ceremony” is not for YOU. It is for those of us who are still alive so that we may have an appropriate context in which to grieve, to remember you. Perhaps catharsis and closure as well.

4 Likes

Amazon UK have lovely ones Mike.
I did find two places in France that allow the wicker option, but if I remember rightly they are far north and south. I will try and find the link.

1 Like

Disgusting behaviour :cry:

I fully understand that the decision on how my remains are handled should be made by my wife and family, and my written wishes are prefaced by that statement.

Everything I wish for must be superceded by the wishes of my nearest and dearest, as is their right, and my deepest concern.

I hope they may take my wishes into consideration, because they are intended to save them unnecessary inconvenience and expense at a difficult time; a time at which they may come under pressure to “Do the best for the deceased” by “choosing” all the expensive funerary bells and whistles that will max the final bill, and the undertaker’s profits.

2 Likes

And not wholly untypical. It’s just a dressed-up waste-disposal system.

Totally agree Sue, that is why I have been preparing my family for years. I could not go through with my options knowing that my family would be left with bad memories of my funeral.
My husband used to hate the thought of creamation. Sp

I have been involved in many deaths and many funerals here in France…

(Please note… I’m not to blame for these deaths… :crazy_face: :crazy_face: )

I have sat with the dying… the families… with the bereaved …and got to know our local Undertakers well enough that they bring me a bottle of hooch at Christmas.

I can say, with hand on heart… that here at least… Death and all that it entails … is handled with great care.

Perhaps it makes a difference that the Undertakers are all locals… whose families know everyone… so whatever happens… and whenever it happens… it is friend, helping friend… through the only certain event in Life…

:hugs:

The only ones I found made clear that the wicker had to enclose a wooden box… if that is the case I would certainly support the case for change to the laws here.

My mother went to the crematorium by herself, directly from the hospital morgue in a standard shroud. Nobody was present. However that same afternoon we had a tea party in the village hall for family, and all her friends most of whom were here sort of age so not up to the long journey to crematorium. Flowers from her garden decorated the hall, people made cakes from her recipe book, and several spoke of their memories of her. A fine time was had by all, and it was a fitting event for a woman who spent many an afternoon in the village hall. It was personal and intimate and I really don’t see what could have been added by some religious mumblings and a ceremony in some anonymous hall at the crematorium. Mind you, whatever we did would have offended at least some of the family, so opting to shock all of them seemed much more equitable!

They all got over it and agreed it was the right thing afterwards. And I think that may be the stumbling point. Since many have no experience of doing anything different it’s hard for them to see that you don’t have to follow standard format if that isn’t right for you.

5 Likes