.... as there are only three single women in the SFN "Singles" group, (and the nearest of them to me is about 500+ kms away) does that mean that everyone else in SFN is married???
Thanks Natalie ;)
well said Damaris! that is something that the French understand...
Hi all,
I was just reading through the comments and have to concur with a lot of the things that are being written. I had been single for quite some time until last year. I have had 4 serious relationships, 1 with a British man and 3 with French. The lastest finished about 4 weeks ago I am very relieved to be single again!! I have a large circle of acquaintances, some very good friends and a fulfilling life. I always have room for more friends so don't hesitate to get in touch :)
My experiences on both sides of the channel have been quite similar (It could just be that I lucked out in the UK) but I did not find the relationships fulfilling as the level of emotional connection was virtually non exsistent and I found all expected me to change several things about myself whilst there were no concessions from their side. Consequently I am happier to remain single and live the life I wish to. As the French say, mieux vaut être seul, que mal accompagné!
Francis, I know exactly what you mean, my French partner never says she loves me either, and often says to me that no man she has ever known has said he loves her it is definitely a FRENCH thing, the whole world has this image of the French being great lovers (possibly coming second only to the Italians, and undoubtedly spread by them), but in truth they have NO IDEA about love and romance! That is not to say that I am unhappy with my partner, we are both in our mid sixties and I provide the romance and love for both of us, I just wish occasionally that the French could be a little more demonstrative.......
Sorry, typed too fast! hope you can follow my jumbled thoughts!
NO frances it isn't a French thing it is a man thing! My OH is French and VERY sentimental and romantic, finding a new love at our age was astounding amazing scarey fabulous terrifying and ocntinues to present situations that demand concessions from us both, my french has made amazing progress, I feel 16 again and 2 years down the line that hasn't changed, I tell him he is my present, after all the rubbish in my life , I truly feel the best was saved till last. We have both said it is goo we are the age we are as we have learnt to live with someone else, making concessions laughing at errors, giving each other space but doing things togethre accepting the other as they are.....all that stuff we maybe didn't do 20!
As for what happens when peple get to old to drive.single or otherwise, around here they just keep driving!
Interesting to read all these comments. I'm not married but I do have a male friend who is French. We don't live together. He doesn't speak English so relationship subtleties are missing. I don't know if it is a French male thing or not but he never says I love you, he never wants to discuss anyting to do with feelings or the relationship-he'll listen to me but never contribute from his side. He says his life is perfect and he'd never want to change it (he's retired) so I guess this will just be a phase I'm going through. There doesn't seem to be any way for the relationship to grow. I agree with previous statements-Guys my age are only interested in women in their 40s or younger and a guy over 70 just reminds me of my father or grandfather.
Yes, there is something important missing- a close emotional connection with someone, feeling really valuable to someone else. I brought up my daughter alone and she's on the other side of the world to me now. I don't have French friends or any other kind in France so maybe this site is useful to see what other people think and experience. I think our generation have more choices how to live but with that come the downsides too.
What happens when a single person gets too old to drive? Does that mean that any relationships they have drop off? The advantage of living together with a partner seems to be that as you get older you can still spend your lives together even though you can't get around easily.
Frances
LOL. Funny thing, being 40 - I was doing the same thing then! :-) You don't realise how daft it is!
Hi Everyone, I'm also on my own, and have been for 3 years. I am actually enjoying being single, and some of the advantages it brings. I think it's because I was in a very difficult marriage for 12 years, so being on my own again is a relief. I've only recently thought about meeting someone, but my few forays into the french dating world (Zoosk) were disappointing. I only seemed to be contacted by much older men - which is not a problem, age doesn't matter with the right person, but I would have liked to have been able to meet people from a range of ages, including my own! I asked a friend why I was never contacted by 40 year old men on dating sites, the answer came back "because they are all chasing the 25 year olds!" (doh!) Apart from that although I have had interested 'suitors' the problem came down to the kids (age 7 and 11) - they didn't have children of their own, and they didn't want a long term relationship that involved being part of a family.
Would really like to hear from others in my position and how you managed to move on. :-)
Well said Suzy, I have been on my own for over 3 years now (with a 6 yr old...) but was mostly on my own before that when my daughter's father lived with us, as he worked away all week. But there is a certain peace that comes with being on your own, however on the other hand...it makes getting things done a very long list and often not getting done at all! We should find a way to help each other, like a barn raising (very american saying I know...) - these discussions help anyway!
I'm glad this came up as I was going to ask if there were any people living on their own. Most comments I read, the OH comes up.Life is much different when you have to do everything alone,I even think having good experiences can be tinged with a bit of sadness when you cant share it with someone,so I can understand how you feel Maria. I've lived in France for 26yrs and brought up my son alone,having a child is a definate plus as far as I'm concerned.You make more friends through the children. I live on a street with lovely neighbours,they're all couples.But I rarely get invited round for an apero.If I knock on their door we can have good chats for 20mins or so but no chat over a cup of tea or coffee. I dont think they have any idea how lonely it can be sometimes which is normal really as theyre so busy with family life. This became obvious to me when I broke my wrist the day after my son moved out.Noone came to see how I was getting on or thought of bringing food,apart from an english neighbour who was wonderful.And it is SO good to have an english neighbour.......just to hear him chuck the old f word around is refreshing. Anyway once I'd come out of my plaster I bumped into a neighbour who asked how I was,and that she had thought of me but 'je ne voulais pas te déranger'.this is my number one most hated phrase in french.I hear it all the time,even little children are told to ne pas déranger other kids. Grrrr.
I'm happy with my own company,I've been freelance for so long that I'm used to it,but 6 o clock can arrive and I realise I havent spoken to anyone all day,except the artists essentiel companion,my cat.
well done Chris, thats nice to hear.
I have a French partner whom I met via an internet site, I sympathise so much with Maria as I became "single" very suddenly indeed and the house my wife and I had bought and the path we were following came to a halt literally overnight. It takes a bit of getting used to and yes there is a HUGE cultural divide, and I sometimes CRAVE a conversation in English, but I have settled with my French life and expect to remain in France for the rest of my life.
aww Im confused (but then Im a bear of very little brain). I thought I had posted on here but maybe it was somewhere else??? sorry.
I am single, well widowed, and like Roger, it wasnt a conscious decision and wasnt part of the plan - my husband died suddenly at the age of 48 and two years on I find myself walking alone on a path we chose for two. Loneliness gets to you in the end and I decided I felt ready to find some friends and try and have a love life of some sort. Several sorties into the french internet dating world have left me vowing that there is just too much of a culture divide, its not a question of language I dont think, although I will never be as articulate in french as english but a difference in the way of thinking and seeing things. I vowed not to date another frenchman (which leaves me in a difficult situation, France is my home and I love it here, but live in the middle of nowhere in the Gers). Ive tried to concentrate on finding friends, just having a nice time instead.
However, you can fill the day as much as you like with stuff to do but when you close that door behind you, if there is nooen special to care or share it with, it counts for nothing, the loneliness is still there.
So when I saw 'singles group' I thought it sounded a decent idea.... Like others have said, not sure why anyone who is dating someone else would want to be in such a group, but hey, who am I to judge?
Im new to this place and just finding my way round but I already love that people have real names and real photos and had to laugh at the 'monkeynuts' comment by Roger earlier on. Even in the singles group, one of us appears to have a photo of a car instead of him or herself.
It must be doubly hard for being a single parent, I cant begin to imagine how you cope with that. Anyway, nice to meet you all and please ignore me if Ive posted the same thing twice as Im sure Ive said all this somewhere else!
Yep, being single doubles all the stuff that has to be done in the day, I remeber it only too well.I would have loved a link like this to talk to others, esoecially in the evenings when the kids were asleep and the tele was giving me brain death...............!!!!
Strange one for me in a way, but some things do touch me in a way. My son, now an adult and parent himself, was brought up by his grandparents part of the time and me the other after his mother died. She and I had simple been a casual relationship anyway, but I put up my hands when he was born and sent my 'contributions' to Hannover social services every month until he was 18. I therefore realise that when being a single parent it is really lonely very often. I was only lucky his grandparents were my backup, no matter how negative I consider their influence was. Had I been alone, then life would have been tough and even lonelier. I do not mean I was always alone because of him because I had plenty of friends around, several with children of similar age too, but in a sense something like Val is describing.
Now I am happily married, have two children who I can share with my OH and do not need a singles group in any sense, but have the memory and wish you all well with it, very much see the sense but hope very much you are not 'preyed on' by anybody whose intents are not quite in common with all of you.
Not all of us Roger, but I guess we are flung far and wide. I am in the Aude.
It's a great idea, especially for the winter months though when things settle down a lot, the rellies aren't over filling up the spare bedrooms and life is generally a lot quieter.
I know what you mean about the printing - there are a multitude of 'print & colour me' pages on Club Penguin so someone obviously wants them all. Printer cartridges are bloomin expensive!
I know what you mean - I've had to shy away from a couple of things over the next two weeks when we are up to here in men-in-lycra while the TDF is in town. Back to normal in September maybe!
7 year olds can be good company - my stepdaughter next door has one! He's forever getting me to print out pictures for colouring!
Just realised it's 01:18!!! Good night!!