It was tongue in cheek.
Orange is the only network with a useable signal here. Like this time last year, it appears to be getting weaker. Last year I literally went through 4 different contracts in 6 months due to trying to find a provider with adequate signal.
Orange is apparently obliged to keep providing a signal but I am not confident they will continue to honour this - and it’s wobbling.
Hence my joke about maybe satellite - which has all the problems you mention Graham - potentially being better