Barbara if you are disagreeing with me totally...because you dont believe in the nanny nation....what did you do when you worked? assuming you have children. Are you suggesting mothers shouldnt work? upbringing isnt automatically transferred to a nanny because the parents work....they provide care during the period the parents are absent...in the same way a teacher does. If you pick your nanny/au pair with care and your children are receiving good guidance and care I really dont see what you object to. Not everyone is able to stay home...many parents need to work and dont have family locally. My parents were still of working age when I had my children and lived 200 miles away...so what exactly would you suggest?
Carol I do expect the mums to tell their kids what is right and what is wrong but some of
the mums and dads seem to have given up on life.
I am unable to go into great detail but for certain reasons the parents have no control and I
fear for the outcome of the family relationships and the well being of the children.
I notice it with the young clients who come to the region to get married ....THEY often demand
extra privaleges because they feel it is their right to get exactly what they want.
Not just rich kids are demanding but poor families take out big loans to buy big christmas gifts.
I truly hope you took child and parents to task Barbara...I would charge for the table to be fixed. Having to do that, might just make the parents question their discipline..or lack of it.
Wonder if its my attitude that means I dont come across many unpleasant or badly behaved kids....I am not the least bit unhappy about saying NO...loudly....when my kids misbehaved...I would shout...'right..enough..I am coming to sort you out'....on one occasions my youngest was heard to say....'quick...the worst ones coming'
We have had friends come to stay...some with children....if a child does something here Im not happy about I will tell them why they wont be doing that again...and I also tell them I used to quite happily smack my childrens bottoms when they were naughty...this plants the seed...and they tend not to risk their chances.
If parents are not happy with my direct approach...they are welcome to move on...and no...I dont suffer fools and I take no prisoners....I think you were very polite Valerie not to take Grandpa to task...his little princess is going to be a most unpleasant grown up if she isnt licked into shape soon!
And it is not ok for a child to deliberatly stratch at my 1920 s dining table with the point of a steak knife.
like
I've been reading these posts on and off to see the various viewpoints expounded (yes, I'm a voyeur), not feeling I had anything much to contribute. Then I had my own case in point today.
The Twerp was out playing with his 7 year old girlfriend today. After a separate incident involving a dodgy pickaxe and a defenceless tree (don't ask - they were disarmed without fatalities) I discovered they had sat on and broken a plastic faux-chain barrier which edges someone's driveway. I was in the throes of loudly reading the riot act to them and explaining in simple terms the concepts of trespass and criminal damage when the little girl's grandad arrived on the scene.
"Oh, don't worry about that - easily fixed" was his pronouncement as he took her by the hand and led her home.
Two basic points:
1) Easily fixed by whom, exactly? Obviously not him as he'd promptly left so I assume he means me.
2) What did this just show the children? Hey, yes, bust other people's stuff - maybe someone can fix it. It's okay to go on other people's property, they're not there at the moment anyway. Whatever you might have done, don't worry about it - there's no need to take responsibility for it.
The little girl in question had quite proudly announced to me when I went out to check what they were doing that they hadn't broken anything in my garden today (as she had every other day - plants, branches, flowers) until I said if it happened one more time she would not be allowed back.
Yes, some people will undoubtedly post admonishments of me yelling at the kids. I honestly don't really care - I know the supposed strategy. I started off with explanations, then consequences but this was the final straw. At least it might have the desired result, which I seriously think "Oh don't worry about that" will not.
I hope that this post is a joke Catherine. While not against the use of electric collars in principle, they need to be used by professionals who know what they are doing. An electric collar can make an aggressive dog more aggressive, or a timid dog ruined for life. For your needs a collar that sprayed citronnella when the dog barked would have been or more use. Having said that I have used an electric collar to stop a dog chasing sheep.
i HOPE TH
Sounds brazen, and then they kick the ball, and look at the people nearby, to push the limits, and see if someone will reach boiling point, and then come a little closer and so on.
was sitting in a beergarden of a Limerick pub, when a little girl has a skipping rope, and was standing in one spot, swinging it round, but on the ground. She started to build speed, and then started to move towards tables where people were drinking, and, barely missing a man's face, she knocked over and broke half the glasses on the table,with the hard wooden handle. her mother (why is it always the mother) was asked to leave the bar by the management, and she refused. point blank, "no", like.
Her little princess proceeded to set up her little spinning routine once again, when a leather clad biker type, covered in Tattoos and scary hair stepped on the rope as it flew past him. He had EVERYONE's attention. The little girl made her cry face... he didn't flinch, just towered over her. She dropped her end of the rope, and ran to her mother, absolutely sure the man was going to eat her, and bawling her eyes out.
the mother had a quick go at yerman, snatched up her skipping rope, and toddled on out of there when his equally burly mates chipped in, and told her to go home, sober up, and think about what a GOOD place for a child on a sunday afternoon is, because it's not a pub.
The problem... I feel so sorry for the child, then. in the beginning, I want to just snap the skipping rope off them, and say "NO MORE", but then, when I see the parenting, I want to scoop up the child, and put her in a home where she has a real life.
what a dilemma
The high moral ground! The problem wasn't the child kicking a ball about, it was that he stood right beside our table, when he could have gone anywhere. Her problem should have been that while she was inside drinking, her child could have been molested, or kidnapped. You can just imagine the headlines in the Daily Gutter: "child attacked outside bar with mother getting drunk inside" or words to that effect. Obviously I don't read enough of the Daily Gutter to create the appropriate headline! :-)
hahaha, too funny, but poor puppy.
My mother broke numerous wooden spoons off my behind as a child, and, well, no I was not abused, but I was possibly a handful.
The kids we all seem to be thinking of when we say "spoiled little brats" don't even hear the word "no", I think a crack across the arse would actually shock them into cataplexy.
Then the parent would beat themselves up, and book everyone in for a family counselling session (there's another thing that they're gone crazy into back on the Rock, once a child is actually doing their homework, and not acting up in class, they're deemed "too quiet", and a shrink is brought in. Any child that is boisterous, instead of simple parental discipline, a doctor is asked for Ritalin.
ooh... Catherine you are starting a world of pain for your self.
Firstly you will be hauled up for deamonizing children, secondly look out for the animal cruelty lobby (they are trying to ban those collars in the UK), and then there will be the folks that think you are condoning the use of these collars on children, oh my, sweet pea, it could be the night of the long knives for you.
Take care and lock all your doors and windows.
I rest my case...interaction!!
My one success has been dog training. I dealt with the naughty yapping puppy by buying one of those electronic collars that zap the dog when it yaps. Being tight, I bought a dodgy 'own brand' type job from Ebay. It basically electrocuted the shit out of her for 24 hours until we realised what was going on. On the upside, it cured her of her favourite pastime, barking at the horses back legs and having seen how effective it is, the kids are suitably chastened. After all, I'm the mother that tied Daisy to a tree with a lunge line when she was a toddler and had Max on an extending dog lead at the beach, so it's not beyond the realms of possibility that I'd resort to electrical behaviour control. They do it in the States after all and besides, anyone who objects, clearly has not shared a house with gobby teenagers.
@ Sheila, haha, I love the way they always have no better answer only to storm off, and pretend to themselves they are "rising above it". When the squadcar is bringing their youngster home a few years down the line, the one thing that always bothers them is not that the kid might have broken a school window, or told the lady at the end of the street to p1iss off, they're actually concerned first and foremost that the neighbours will see the police outside, and what will they think!!
ok, kicking a ball off a wall can be normal healthy behaviour, but somehow it goes hand in hand with those hoodies that in later years sit on walls, drinking cans.
It is up to the parents to parent, whether or not they have to get help, such as au pair. It seems to me that parents are afraid to give out to their childlren for bad behaviour or to set limits, because they want to be popular with their kids, or whatever. I was sitting outside our local pub in Dublin a couple of years ago (the year we had summer) and a child of about 8 or 9 was kicking a football at the wall, endlessly. It was getting to everyone who was sitting out but no one said a word, until my OH turned round and told him firmly to stop. Child runs inside and out comes mother, bristling with indignation "how dare you speak to my child like that". I intervened and said very quietly "how dare you sit inside drinking and leaving your child outside, unsupervised". She of course stormed off, with child, and we continued to enjoy our drink and the summer (which lasted about a week).
you don't have to tell me that, I've already told my friend that she is going to have a nightmare when the "child" gets a little older. Her response was "well, when YOU have kids, you'll have the same problem"..
ummm, No, because by the time I do have kids i'll have learned enough by watching HER doing it wrong.
Same child has KILLED another family pet, by squeezing, and causing internal injuries. They now have 2 dogs, a rabbit, two bearded dragons, and they're buying another dog (something I really disagree with), because "oh, Emma just ADORES that breed, she saw them on telly, and she HAS to have one"... FOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCK.
banging my head off a wall. I think because I am the ONLY one of her friends to be honest with her to the point of insulting her, she just thinks "she's mad", and lets it go.
My biggest fear is that she has a 2 year old brother, and left alone, could seriously harm him.
I really don't think rich or poor comes into it, it is the parents' willingness to actually PARENT their children.
I had a go for kids chasing ducks once, and yes, the mother had a go at me, same thing "it's only a bit of fun"..... What if I go fetch my rotweiller, have him chase YOU, and then call that a bit of fun.
Am I disagreeing with you TOTALLY
oK I do not believe in the Nanny nation.
And rich or poor bring up the children correctly is coming from mum and dad;
Time spent doing this is imperative.
Your children are educated in the right manner because you found time for them.
Not everyone manages to get this right....it seems.
or because you are not living in Paris, Bordeaux, Nice etc.... living in the countryside you see less of it...my point again. Because you have children Barbara your life doesnt stop and you dont all start sitting around as a family being poor but happy..! you worked in London, you always worked...I did the same..I had au pairs (live in nanny?) because I worked and my husband was a GP in a practice of two...so was putting in 60 odd hours every week...I often worked several jobs at the same time....we spent time with the children, mostly weekends...evening meals were not possible as a family for years as we were not home at their supper time....whatever you are saying Barbara..you are blaming bad behaviour on the wrong causes...Ive seen kids from all classes...where the mothers dont work but cant or wont parent their kids...and would rather give them a tenner to get lost...its attitude about parenting and caring. My kids grew up polite caring adults...we couldnt have been too bad as two of the three didnt leave till their mid twenties...its caring enough about your child to teach them all the stuff you know..not rely on schools to do it for you and not to think your little darling is above criticism and shouldnt be said no to.