Hoping for a better day today. Yesterday I searched…and searched…and searched for a vital bit of hifi kit I needed to play my lps. I carefully concealed various items about the house before our last trip to France. Still looking 
. Then when I popped out to the supermarket our dear neighbours were being a PITA - long story.
My wife produced a home baked pizza - she hates anchovy and cannot tolerate chilli, onions and peppers. I cut it into our respective halves and then pieces only to then drop chilli oil onto her food rather than mine while we were chatting. I was definitely in the dog house.
Anyway today marks the one year countdown to state pension and we’re going out for lunch. Wish we were in France.
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To borrow a line from a song, if you get a wrong, you get a right next time. It will come together another day.
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Love, love that song (esp the intro) - just got to post it. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXW-sL5gzHQ&ab_channel=GerryRafferty
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[quote=“MichaelL, post:1, topic:40049”]
Anyway today marks the one year countdown to state pension and we’re going out for lunch. [/quote]
Strikes me that there is a birthday somewhere in all of this… 
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Since we’re in a ‘not the best day’ thread, my mother died just over a week ago, and we’re still working through the details around that. She didn’t quite make 90, but very close.
Sorry to hear that. My mother’s 94 and has recently had to give up an independent life with carer support visits. Sadly she has now spent a month in a care home in Birmingham waiting to be assessed. She spends her days sitting in her room. There is no entertainment. I had to complain because they weren’t washing her clothes. I will be on the phone again to social services tomorrow. Once she has been officially assessed, the plan is for her to live in a pleasant care home here in Shrewsbury - a short wheelchair ride from the beautiful park and gardens.
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Thanks Michael.
Her wish to was to remain independent as long as possible, and thanks to a mobility scooter she was doing that up until the last 8 weeks. Her health had been deteriorating gradually for a couple of years, probably as bowel cancer progressed into the bones, but a couple of years previously she had declined medical investigation or surgery. Last year she had a medium size tumour removed from her arm, but it was assessed as benign (rather than the secondary that it probably was).
When she wasn’t coping any more she an I looked at a local home together with the idea of 2 weeks respite care. There are quite a few homes round here, and they vary from OK to all-inclusive holiday hotel with weekly entertainment. The staff seemed kind in this one - they had entertainment, but she would never have been interested - and it was a key factor in initial selection. It became quickly obvious that she couldn’t go home again. The last couple of days weren’t great, and the last morning she was plainly distressed despite oral morphine. Once she was put on proper morphine she just relaxed, went to sleep and slipped away within a couple of hours.
Is this care home privately funded or council-run? If council operated then it may be a little more ‘bare-bones’. I hope she can get moved on quickly for all your sakes.
that sounds lovely… hopefully it will come to fruition in the not too distant future.
Sounds to me that it was her time to go… had similar experiences with some of my loved ones.
In my experience Death is not easy to accept no matter what one’s faith.
Seeing MiL finally no longer in pain… and then… time to let go… and she was gone.
That gave me something positive to hang onto after the horrors of the previous months.
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We’re grateful there were no real horrors, always a fear in this situation, and it seemed her time was a little overdue in some ways. My grandfather lived with my parents for several years, but his dementia meant that he had to go into a home and my mother carried guilt from that to the end of her life - he would ask her “when can I come home” and it tore her heart to pieces.
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Thank you for sharing. I’m glad your mother had a relatively comfortable end to her life. My mother was in hospital in Shrewsbury after staying with us but she developed an infection and had to be admitted. She was medically fit after 2 weeks. As NHS pay for the assessment bed when patients are discharged, she had to go into a home in Solihull’s catchment. It took their social services over a month to find a place despite my calls to them. So she’s coming to the end of the NHS funding. The patient pays out of their pension and the local authority pays the balance up to 12 weeks. Mom will be self funding - I’m preparing her house to rent back to the local authority. Huge job this as she was a hoarder of clothes, furniture, china etc.
I feel sure that if Shrewsbury SS had been able to arrange her assessment she would have been settled in a decent place many weeks ago.
Sorry it’s proving so tough. Hopefully the rent from her house will help cover the care cost in Shrewsbury a bit.
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It’s worth considering arranging to rent out a loved one’s home if they have to go into care. The local authorities are desperate for properties to provide temporary accommodation and will take care responsibility for the property internals and all contact with the tenants. They also look after the gardens. This takes most of the stress out of being a landlord. The person going into care will retain some of their state additional benefits to add to their basic pension when self funding.
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@Ancient_Mariner Sorry to hear your news - I too had a mother who almost made 90 and who almost made the 21st century - but not quite. I think all of that mattered more to me than to her. And like your mother, the end when it came was easy and she was in her granny annexe with us right to the end. May the coming days and weeks be easy for you too.
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Thank you Sue. 
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Sorry to hear that AM, almost a year since my Mum passed last bits of sorting but almost done and final closure. At 93, having never driven or ridden a a bike AFAICR she learnt to pilot the mobility chair around giving 1 extra year but it was really sad to see the inevitable decline cause by a few falls and brain bleeds.
Wishing you positive thoughts and best wishes.
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Condolences, it’s never easy digesting that sort of loss.
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@Ancient_Mariner my thoughts are with you.
@Corona based on other things you’ve said, as well as your Mum you’ve had other bits of heavy stuff to deal with in the past year or two. I hope you make it to France and admire you keeping on.
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Thank you Karen hope to get over in September. We just deal with life’s stuff but I dont want to take the focus away from AM who is no doubt having challenging times currently.
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No, it’s fine. In any case, I nicked the thread from Michael, a little unfairly. I’m mostly OK, really, although things sneak up at times so they catch me unawares.
Sorry you’ve had a difficult year or so too - guess I got involved at SF a little after, last year.
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