SF Discussions - Why can't we all get on a little better?

discourse

(James Higginson) #1

There are so many topics of late that are littered with bickering, sniping, oneupmanship and generally childish behaviour. If everyone suffering from lack of sunshine or something?

Can’t we all just get along and enjoy the community discussions without resorting to this keyboard warrior approach? I’m sure you would all be as nice as pie if you were in a room together.

Thoughts on this subject very welcome, please have your say, in a polite and reasonable fashion :slight_smile:


(Mark Robbins) #2

It is a scientifically proven winter malady, seasonal affective disorder. What this means, and it’s got nothing to do with sunlight, is that the weather outside is crap so stuck in during the day being nagged to do those “things” that have been put off forever, so you sit on your computer taking it out on others who are, effectively anonymous. Maybe …:sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses:


(Chris Kite) #3

imagehttp://homeopathicmedicine.one/moodbrite-seasonal-affective-disorder-help


(John Withall) #4

Whilst that above could be true, personal opinion only, there are discussions where people put forward opinion on topics and that can get heated when someone either corrects an error with facts which upsets or just voices a personal feeling different to others.

There are also threads asking for assistance which some feel they should post on even though they don’t know what they are talking about and it would be far simpler and more pleasant if they just kept quiet.


(Mandy Davies) #5

I agree James. Far too much negativity and confrontation on here for me at the moment. Have decided to contribute a little less to avoid it. Maybe it will improve when the sun starts shining.


(John Withall) #6

Is it a Male trait Mandy? I don’t read many of the threads these days.


(Mandy Davies) #7

I’ve not really thought about it until you mentioned it. When I think about the members I tend not to interact with they are generally male and when there is a bit of argy-bargy then it’s often between men but there are some women who like to get stuck in as well (including me on very rare occasions). Whether it’s a male trait is probably not a question I want to answer because we know what happens if there is a difference of opinion!!!


(John Withall) #8

Haha, I may withdraw that question having seen Jo Marney UKIP leaders partner on TV doing a great job of proving women are more than capable of being v nasty.


(stella wood) #9

:wink::wink::wink: I thought everyone knew that women are superior in every way… :grin::grin::grin::grin::zipper_mouth_face:


(John Withall) #10

I was just about to give a humorous reply but stopped when i realised it would objectify women.


(Jane Jones) #11

Isn’t the classic saying that oysters need a bit of grit to make pearls? While I agree that there’s never a place for rudeness or making negative personal comments, if there are never any differences of opinion then doesn’t it all become rather bland?

There has to be a bit of give & take, as well as a bit of an appreciation that sometimes written comments read more harshly than intended and are best ignored…

(personally I blame reading too many depressing Brexit stories for making me grumpy, I should ignore those too…)


(stella wood) #12

John… there is always a place for humour…just make sure it is easily identifiable as humour… Note all my winks and grins.

(Being PC is taking over these days, or so it seems… dampens the spirits somewhat.)


(stella wood) #13

I think some of the comments come over as gritty/harsh or whatever… as we cannot see the “speaker”. Facial expressions, twinkle in the eye, cheeky grin… even a deliberately “straight-face”…

all this tells us that, despite what we hear… it is NOT intended to be taken at face value…(sorry for the pun).

Reading is a very different matter. Impossible to note the wry grin that “says” to take all this with a pinch of salt. :roll_eyes:

Short, clipped phrases or sentences can come over as abrupt/rude… if we are not careful… and this may well be the reverse of what was intended.


(John Withall) #14

So true, not that I am suggesting women talk a lot more, Oh no :smirk::wink:
I think a lot of the problem is being able to describe the problem, topic, issue correctly so people get the right end of the subject quickly. many times it has taken 3-5 postings before the OP describes what they really mean. Mind you it takes about 7 posts to get the first abrasive one I have noted. being a good writer is not that easy and takes practice.


(anon88888878) #15

It’s very difficult to express a ‘different’ or ‘challenging’ opinion to the norm in any environment - online it is even harder! Believe me - I know :wink: . I think the sudden influx of members from the dying (and shortly to close) FE forum has had an effect.

Hand on heart I find it very difficult not to rise to the bait and sometimes, I get it all wrong - mostly out of frustration. Sometimes though, I feel I’m being specifically goaded into a reaction - but that may just be my own paranoia :scream: As someone said to me recently - it’s not all about you Simon…

For sure, the weather has got something to do with it - we’ve just endured 17 days of rain down in the deep South. But, low and behold, the sun came out today and the forecast is pretty damn nice for the next few days - so all’s good. Time for a break from SFN me thinks… :zipper_mouth_face::zipper_mouth_face::zipper_mouth_face: - A+


(stella wood) #16

not for too long I hope… the break… not the sunshine… :slight_smile: :slight_smile:


(michael archer) #17

Time for a break from SFN me thinks.

And that is so soon after sending your first friend request to someone.


(stella wood) #18

Mandy…

Before you hide yourself away… did you see my “biker’s gear” in James’ thread… People in the 60’s… can’t believe I actually found a photo of more or less the outfit I wore … along with the hat and my knee-high boots, I thought I was the bees-knees… :hugs:

sold the bike when the Crash Helmet Law came into force early 70’s… wasn’t going to let that ruin a good hair style… :wink:


(Mandy Davies) #19

Ha Stella! Thought that was actually you for a minute. Very classy. I was born in 1969 and you were old enough to ride a motorbike. I will say no more :wink:

I’m not planning on hiding, I’m just going to lurk a little more. :slightly_smiling_face:


(Barbara Deane) #20

A lot of very different people who came from different life styles, different
thoughts and ideas, a little sarcasm here and there and friction develops.
So talk about the weather and the price of frozen chips and everything should be ok.
Hopefully.