I'm having a bad time at the moment, having just said goodbye to my son (21) who has been with me for a month here in the Var. The latter part of his trip was tainted by my dreading the upcoming goodbye and on the day itself I managed to hold back the tears for his sake yet on the drive home I cried my eyes out, and literally hurt when I went into the room he'd been staying in to strip the bed afterwards.
On the whole life in France is good but I miss my family so much. Of course they come out to visit but I'm having a really tough time handling the departures. I'm contemplating moving back to the UK but have a feeling that I'll find myself wondering what the hell I've done come a grey November day in the London suburbs and the noisy neighbours driving me mad. Does anybody have any tips on overcoming the dreaded airport goodbyes and a dash of homesickness?
yes we do all have problems but we can share them. makes it easier. SF ENJOY LIFE
a continuing 'thank you'.... having a bad day today but loathe to talk to people as we all have our problems in varying degrees. Yes Barbara I do have a dog and a cat, my salvation
Ann you need to tell your story.
Find someone to talk to about it.
Even me...IF YOU WISH.
We all need to communicate
Thank goodness for technology! I use Skype a lot, ditto for email and Facebook. What I do miss are all those milestones of my grandchildren. First tooth, first words, first step. In the hope that this will put a smile on faces, here is a picture of my grandson (20 months) "talking" to me!(upload://bW9CJE8XeXZd2uQ2KhXYXXrRkzA.jpg) via Skype on iphone.
'I don't get the home sickness' should have been I don't feel home sick. what I feel is the need to tell my mother brother, dad something, I know they would have like, or something I have done which I am please with. they are in my hart, time does not change that, but that is a whole other story.
THERE are errors...UNABLE to see edit button...SORRY
When we left our appartment on the Holland Road London W14 I was sad....all those memories
and such a characterful 1200 SQ but the neighbours kept themselves to themselves and the responsabilities
were share by a host of other residents with varying ideas.
Very few of my friends were in the area any longer.
My dissapointments with NHS and the general running of the country added
to my need to be in France....at last lead my here. It was inevitable;
To see those friends once or twice a year is not enough...AND there is always a struggle to
control the tear ducts.
But it is about people. The association of places in London...is all about people.
Restaurants we dined in, PLACES we worked, parks we strolled in, houses we lived and schools
were we met each other. People are everything. Home sick ...I will look it up on Google.
I don't get the home sickness, but I do get the crying bit all the way back home from the airport, don't don't think this ever stops, an email form my child can set it off, although we talk or type in the computer world we live in each day, she 36 and has become an expat herself living in Dublin.
But it is so good to love...but maybe not to be too dependant on that
love. Find more friends and, I hope that you have a pet.
thanks again everybody, this is helping me so much <3
When you love someone, it always hurts to be apart...it is like grieving...we must take care of ourselves, eat, sleep, be active, find interests, go on walks to give us peace...it is ok to cry, we release the pain...ask God for peace and strength....Life is made up of moments...cherish the moments you have with the ones you love...and plan ahead so you have something to look forward to....if you need to change your life, do so...maybe get Skpe so you can see and talk to them whenever you want ...stay in communication...it helps, thats what I do...A heart that loves ....is a beautiful thing ♥...God Bless You !
Hi Judy, i too feel dreadfully sad when daughters, or friends disappear back to the UK. I just want to cling on to them and keep them with me. I visit the UK for about a month twice a year, leaving husband here in charge of the cheptel. I am always ready to come back and although I miss everyone dreadfully, I am sure that I could never settle back into the life we had when we were over there. I would miss everyone and everything here.
So true Judy, I remember when my sister emigrated to Australia back in the 70's, seeing my own mother crying, having never seen her do that before. How much harder then when even telephone calls had to be booked! Now at least we have instant access via the Internet. My son spent 6 months on a remote island in the Philippines a couple of years ago. The only way we could communicate was via Facebook messaging when he went to an internet cafe on the mainland. So at least we can keep in frequent contact with our kids however far away they are.
It doesn't matter how far away they are going, it will always be painful... that's what we are hardwired to feel,as parents, mothers especially. We spend all our lives making sure our children are ready to leave the nest confidently - but fail to make the same preparation for ourselves. It is a mark of how well you have succeeded when they go off, confidently, happily, and willing to return. And yes, I howled when my 30=year old left after Christmas, not coming back till goodness-knows-when.
Heart wrenching. 15 years living away from "home" ie éire and still doesn't get any easier!
Courage ! xx
I find it really difficult too, our 14 year old son was not settling here and we were not impressed with the schooling so took the decision last October to send him back to the UK. It was horrible waving him off at the airport, all on his own ( my parents were meant to be going back with him, but medical issues took over!). I miss him everyday, and will not have seen him for 3 months when I do eventually see him next month ( oh, that sounds good ) but he is such a different child now, he has a wide range of friends, is enjoying school and relishing the learning, so it is for the best. We have taken the decision to go back though, as I have another son and believe he will be better off in the UK too. I am sure when it is sad a grey in UK, we will have some regrets, but I am sure we will not be selling quickly, so will have a home in France to come to in the holidays. Your son seems to have a good life back in the UK and he can look forward to holidays with you. If you did return to the UK how would you feel if he was offered some fantastic job abroad and moved away? I would give it a little longer and see if the pain eases at all.
I hate saying goodbyes too, my daughter lives in France, very near to our house, so I see her when we come over but not as often as I'd like though. My son is fairly near to us here in the UK but has been off travelling a few times - saying goodbye then is hard as there's worry about their safety too. But however sad and emotional I get I am so proud of their independent and adventurous lives. Gill, I don't think it's possible to not get to get emotional - I know I can't help it!
Thanks everybody, I'm so glad I posted this and it really helps. I was the only one blubbing at Nice airport and felt like a freak with bemused faces all round! I left the UK to get over a very sad divorce some years ago and am still mourning the loss of my marriage or rather more pertinent the splitting up of the family. Having my son here (who lives with my ex in the 'family home') makes me wish it could all be as it was when he was little and divorce was something that happened to other people. He wouldn't want to live here as he's got a great social life and girlfriend in the UK. Perhaps I should take his advice and "not to be emotional" but its tough.