Why aren't private conversations kept private?

All this noise about a private conversation years ago I find totally appalling.
Good manners says that private conversations remain just that.
What is happening to good manners?


A bit of context would be helpful, I’m getting concerned someone has been spreading my private conversations :flushed:

I’m guessing this is about the naughty Tory donor. It’s no coincidence to me that this has come out close to an election with calls from Labour for the Tories to return the donation, all £10 million of it.

Had he just been a supporter and not a donor then we wouldn’t have heard about it.

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It was in the workplace then it wasn’t a private conversation. Unless you are advocating that we return to victorian times and allow employers to do what they like to employees.

I have no problem with disgusting views being called out, especially when the person is spending millions to influence politics and the direction of the nation.


Regardless of where such views are voiced they are are still appalling.

The Tory party really should distance themselves from the odious individual who made them by giving back the bribes he made.

However, that’s tricky as they (as the government) pay this racist’s company many millions of £ to look after UK medical records for them. To me that is also appalling.


I can’t find the total and exact quote in its entirety and context. Perhaps someone here can enlighten me.
But the impression I got from a couple of people was that he had referenced her in his criticism of someone else in his company.

If I can get the whole thing in one piece I might be prepared to use such words as ‘disgusting’ and ‘appalling’. But until then I will limit myself to ‘inappropriate’.

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I find it faintly amusing that Diane Abbott is still suspended from the Parliamentary Party because of her antisemitic remarks.
A real case of pot calling the kettle ‘black’.

And apparently racist remarks too. Didn’t she include specifically white people in her alleged statement?

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

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Or in Diane’s case, eleventy zillion wrongs don’t make a right.


The same geezer told Indian employees that if they couldn’t see during jhis presentation then they should get on the roofs of the Railway carriages that could be seen from where he was speaking. In York apparently.
He seems a bit of a dimwit to come out with things like this.

Here you are “It’s like trying not to be racist but you see Diane Abbott on the TV, and you’re just like I hate, you just want to hate all black women because she’s there, and I don’t hate all black women at all, but I think she should be shot.”
Should be shot is a stupid thing to say in the context of two MPs who have recently been murdered. A come on to extremists?

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Nicely punned madam. :smile:

But we do have something of a problem trying to police people’s thoughts, which is what this is if the timing and expediency is ignored for a moment. I’m sure I hold views that some here would consider utterly appalling, and I KNOW some of you have views I find abhorrent. So if I mention what I think in a non-public context do you all have to distance yourselves from me? If I donate to the site would Cat and James have to return my donations?

This has the look of whipping up a storm about it.

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Going off a different tangent from the original post it often seems to me that social media and even trends in mainstream media have blunted the concept of privacy. Everyone seems to take it for granted that they are entitled to know everyone else’s private life and conversely that everybody else is interested in knowing theirs. I do not systematically read BBC News but so often when I do look, a person that I have no awareness of, often referred to by their first name as if everybody knows them, is opening their heart about an event in their life that has been painful for them. I am not sure whether this is regarded as therapeutic for the person, or helpful to others, or simply newsworthy. i am sure my views are very outdated but I think that a little introspection and privacy and space is necessary for mental health. I do not think the media should intrude in the lives of the members of the royal family who have had health problems. And as for the couple accused of murdering their baby, I think it is appalling that all the details of their private lives should be made public like a cheap soap opera. Yes it is shocking, but so are many things, and these are two human beings with problems and feelings and they should be treated as such.


That’s it, thank you. Now I do not think it was a good idea to say that to anyone except your own bathroom mirror, but wasn’t he comparing his criticism of a, presumably, non white employee who had irritated him but was frustrated from speaking because of a possible accusation of racism and the otherwise perhaps justified criticism would be lost because of skin colour. And that was how he felt about criticising Dianne Abbot because of her penchant for saying daft things but was restrained for the same reason, her colour and gender.

In other words, was he was talking of the frustrations of a white person who has difficulty in criticising anyone who is not white and male for fear of being labelled racist and mysogynist? If that is the case then it is not a racist remark. I felt like that after a personal incident some years ago. A black man, French, who lives locally and with whom I had had a friendly and joky relationship with for a long time was chatting and joking with me one day during a continueing heat wave. As I always wear a short sleeved shirt my arms were very brown and I joked ‘if this goes on much longer my arm will look like yours’. Stoney silence and a very stern stare. He walked away without a word. Many white people I am sure sometimes think they are walking on eggshells. Of all the many women who visit Fran, they are all different shapes and sizes, from front row chunky rugby players to Annabel who is 6 feet tall. Perrine is very large but always singing and dancing, but when I remarked that Fran was a ballet dancer and asked without thinking was she one too, the immediate reply was a peal of laughter and the rejoinder ‘have you seen my hips?’ No offence intended or taken. But they are all white. One young woman who came had a special affinity with Fran who was pleased to let her brush her hair, something she complains loudly about with all the others. Her colleague that day, Marie-Neige, white and older, rushed into me in excitement to say that ‘Jenny is brushing Fran’s hair, and she loves it’ . Wonderful, but later relating that good news to others, we felt uncomfortable in saying ‘the black girl’, but not at that time knowing her name, what else could we say?

Saying someone should be shot is really beyond the pale though, especially in view of the murder of Jo Cox. David Amess was murdered after Hester’s remarks

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Why though bring colour and/or race into it at all? People are just people so treat them like that.

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You haven’t been given an OBE and are not in receipt of very large amounts of public funds. If one decides to play in that playground then one has to recognise thestrings that are attached

And yes I would distance myself from anyone who said disgusting things. A small advantage of being older and retired is not being constrained by politesse.


Some of the comments I’ve read on SF about various politicians have left me unsurprised that the less bright feel able to threaten and murder politicians. Respect for people in the public eye seems non-existant.

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And I don’t entirely disagree with you.