I wanted to give two likes to this, but unfortunately, I couldn’t … That’s the Zeus and Hera joke. Joke ?
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An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored with life, and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: “Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000.”
Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer knew sod all about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.
He went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic and this is what happened……
Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: “I have lost my memory….I cannot remember anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Doctor Young: “Oh no you don’t, that’s Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!”
Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so. Here’s your $1000 back.”
Dr. Young: “But this is only $500…”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
Moral of the story: Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer "
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Via The Register.
A shepherd is minding her sheep on a hill one day when a swanky executive car makes its way gingerly down the lane nearby. It comes to a halt and the mirrored electric window rolls down, through which can be seen a complex dashboard of flashing lights and controls. A man sticks his head out and calls to the shepherd, complaining about the stupid sat-nav and lack of road signs, and asking for directions.
The shepherd tells the man how to get back onto the correct route, and makes a joke about relying too much on technology to follow what should have been a straight road.
Not wanting to leave with his tail between his legs, the man in the car proposes a bet: if he can use the tech in his car to calculate the precise number of sheep in her entire flock spread across the hill, would she let him take away one of the sheep as a prize?
Of course, she says.
The driver then pulls out a laptop and erects a mini satellite dish, and calls upon all manner of satellite photography and fractal chaos calculation apps to determine the size of the flock. Five minutes later, he has the answer. And the shepherd confirms he is correct!
She lets him pick a sheep to take, which he duly hauls into the enormous boot of the car. As he does this, the shepherd proposes a counter-bet: if she can guess what he does for a living, she wins her sheep back again. He agrees. Why not?
She tells him he is a management consultant. Fair enough, he replies, right first time. But how did she guess?
"You’ve over-specified the vehicle you need for your journey but thought it looked good. You don’t know where you are going or where you have come from, but you blame other people for this. You chose to waste expensive technology to tell me how many sheep I have – something that I already know and would have been happy to tell you too for free if you’d asked. But most of all, you blindly accepted a challenge about which you know absolutely nothing.
“Now, can I have my dog back?”
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f***ing brilliant.
Sorry to any management consultants here, but that is brilliant.
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I reckon it was six of one and half a dozen of the other.
I understand that her testament had already been accepted as truthful elsewhere.
That’s correct.
Interestingly, a jury found in his favour in the US case but a single judge in the UK found in her favour.
There is now some Barrister led legal activity in the UK to request an appeal of the UK case.
I always liked the line in Bee movie where the mosquito was the Bees lawyer. I’ve always been a blood sucking parasite, I just needed a brief case.
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That is so sad! 
I hope you’re not taking that too seriously sue. 
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How true this is I do not know….!
“The real inspiration for Popeye the Sailorman was a bartender and manual labourer. Frank ‘Rocky’ Fiegel lived in Chester, Illinois – the hometown of Popeye’s creator E.C. Segar. Like the cartoon, Fiegel was predisposed to getting into trouble. The picture above was taken in 1940 – 11 years after Popeye was created.”
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This fundamole of deep joy… 
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President Barrak Obama, George W. Bush and Donald Trump are in heaven, and standing in front of God.
God asks Obama, “What do you believe in my son?”
“I believe in democracy and a just America.”
“Very well my son, take a seat to my left.”
Then God turned to Bush and asked him, “And you, my son, what do you believe in?”
“I believe in a strong and powerful America in the world.”
“Very good my son, take a seat to my right.”
Then he turned to Trump. “And you dear Donald, what do you believe in?”
“I believe you’re sitting in my chair.”
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